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Boy names- Family trouble

Forum: Baby Names


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June 6th, 2005, 06:44 AM
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Dexter, Georgia
Posts: 123
My husband's grandmother asked me right before she went under for open heart surgery if I would name my son after my husband's biological father, James or Jimmy. The only problem is that my husband didn't know his father due to bad circumstances. His biological father beat his mother and after their divorce he remarried and ended up killing his new wife and himself. My husband was then adopted at the age of 3 my his step-father. I do not want to name my son after this man that we didn't even know. My husband's grandmother insist that her son did not commit those awful acts and a part of my husband wants to believe her. I told her that I would consider it. I mean what was I suppose to say, she was heading into surgery. I am very upset by this. What do you think? I need help!!!!

<center><p style="background:white;"><font face="verdana,arial,sans-serif" size="1" color="black">Elizabeth Madison Price </font>

<center><p style="background:white;"><font face="verdana,arial,sans-serif" size="1" color="black">It's a boy !!! Noah James Price </font>
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June 6th, 2005, 07:52 AM
Bea's Avatar
Bea Bea is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 22,092
This is a tough one, and no matter how much you want to respect her wishes.. I couldn't do it.. I would be afraid to carry on a name of such a man. This is definitely your choice, and I understand your dilema, but remember it is your choice

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June 6th, 2005, 07:59 AM
Lilah's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Posts: 14,084
Ooh, that is a hard one. I would NEVER name my child after an abuser though (and murderer in this instance). I would never want that legacy passed through to my son. I would think up names that I wanted and thought were appropriate for my child and just go with that. Who knows, maybe you will have a girl and this won't even be an issue.
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June 6th, 2005, 12:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,160
Absolutely not! Tell her you understand her love for her son, but you have already chosen a name for your baby. (even if you haven't she doesn't need to know that) It is too much to ask someone to name their child at your request, even if the name did not carry such negative energy. It's your baby, you get to name it, no one else.
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June 6th, 2005, 01:14 PM
~Cupcake~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 14,294
I agree 100% with what the ladies have said above. I could not do it. Robin had a good suggestion, tell her you already have a name picked out.

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June 6th, 2005, 04:19 PM
SavaAngel's Avatar Mama to AJ & Katie
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: League City, Texas
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I agree, I wouldn't want to be put in that position. If you and your husband are uncomfortable with it, then I say don't do it. If it were me, I wouldn't do it. Go with your instict and what you like.

My hubby's papa wants one of his great-grandchildren named after him. He told my SIL this when she started having children, but hasn't mentioned it to us yet, but I know he still feels the same way. Unfortionately, he is very sick right now and has been in the hospital for quite some time. We have decided to sorta honor him with one of the names we have chosen. His name is Bernard and goes by Ben. I have always loved the name Benjamin, so we will use that if and when the time comes. I just hope it doesn't hurt his feelings that it isn't exactly his name. Does anyone know what I mean?

Good Luck! Hope things work out for you.


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June 6th, 2005, 06:08 PM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,057
You HAVE considered it... and decided against it.
MOM TO BRIAN (6-18-98)
JULIA (2-17-00)
KIRA (2-04-03)
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June 7th, 2005, 12:10 PM
mamaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,528
Exactly what Alice said. You did, in fact, consider it, and then based on everything, decided against it. Her request sounds like that of a mother desperate to believe that her son was not the monster he turned out to be - why else would she make such a constroversial request? If this is a woman who you like or care for, you could easily couch your rejection in kind terms, ie - "we really thought about it, but had our heart set on Name X" or "we understand the importance of honoring family, and that's why we wanted to name him after Person X instead"

This is your child, and your decision. Obviously you can be sympathetic to a woman who had the terrible luck of having a murderer for a son, but you can't let that sympathy overshadow your own preference in the important choice of your son's name.
Carpe Diem
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