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Suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

Forum: Adoption


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May 3rd, 2008, 10:14 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Lonestar State
Posts: 50,214
Do you ever feel that way, too? The information from Dillon came in the mail today. Still waiting on Holt. Reading through it was both exciting and confusing. I got the "how the heck does anyone ever get from start to finish in this mess" thought going through my head while figuring out the lingo and which step comes when. I was also wondering how I'll handle the finances and having that many kids. It's easy now. I just have Ben. But come on... I'll have a bio newborn this Fall, and we'll start the paperwork for an adopted baby in Spring. Seems so sudden, but I know it really isn't. Dillon's estimated time from start to finish is 19-24 mos. The baby will be 2 years old when the next child arrives (and then we immediately start the process again )

Ok, so I'm rambling. I think I'm full of hormones or something. Part of me can't wait to get my Korean family started, but another part of me says, "what the heck are you thinking... you can't raise an asian child... you don't even like asian food!" Tell me I'm not crazy! Please!
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May 4th, 2008, 05:46 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 24,588
awwwww I can totally understand why you would be having so many mixed emotions - it's a big life altering decision. I know it can be very overwhelming! I felt that way at times too and I'm sure it's twice for foreign adoptions. But I just have to say that the end result is soooooo worth it! We are here for you each step of the way! Vent here anytime you need to!
As far as the asian food (I know you meant it more figuratively than literally but...), look at it this way - you'll be teaching your adopted child the ways of America and American food - and maybe they will teach you to like some of their food and if not, it's no big deal - I'm sure the child will be more than willing to "settle" for french fries and pizza
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May 4th, 2008, 08:24 AM
m_westbro's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Texas y'all!
Posts: 17,144
Don't worry Chrystal, it is completely normal to be overwhelmed, especially at first! I remember when we got the Holt China book in the mail, I nearly had a stroke. I learned really quick that the best thing for me to do was not read too far ahead and to concentrate on finishing the steps one at a time. I used the checklist they provided and would not look ahead to the next step until I had checked off the last one.

As far as having lots of kids, well I'm kind of the queen of not being prepared for that one (we found out we were having Jack the very day after we accepted Jacey's referral), and it's chaotic, but awesome. You just kind of figure out the financial part and you shop a lot in bulk! The only advice I can give for the Asian part is to keep an open mind and be prepared for the fact that your family will get a LOT of attention for being "different". For the most part, the attention is positive, but people can be rude and make inappropriate comments, and unfortunately sometimes it will happen right in front of your child/children. I would definitely do some reading on raising children of a different race. Honestly, I don't think about the fact that my girls are Asian, I just see them as my daughters, but other people are very quick to stop us and ask questions about them everywhere we go, and that is something I have learned to deal with. We have a great group, called Families with Children from China, and I'm sure you'll be able to connect with other adoptive families in your area once you get your little one home. It's nice for my girls to go to events with FCC and see other girls like them and I know this will be even more valuable as they get older.

my photog blog / my family blog
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