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Forum: Adoption


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September 21st, 2008, 03:50 PM
waitingtoland's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 645
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Hi, first a little introduction, I am 24, married for 3 years and I have a 1 year old little sweet heart!
I ALWAYS wanted to adopt growing up, I always said i would adopt, not have children, but DH and I decided to have a baby, about 2 years ago, and I mean she is the absolute best thing in the world to me!!! Now that she is one, we have everyone asking when the next one is coming etc etc... but we both feel like, ok, we had our baby... now lets parent kids that are already here and need parents instead of having another one, it just feels RIGHT. And for me, I dont NEED to do the baby stage again, it was great obviously, but I feel like there is very few people out there looking to adopt older children, it seems that it is desirable to have the youngest possible, I am able to have children, if I want to have another baby, I will !! But I feel like there is SO many kids older then age 5 and in need of homes, and if no one adopts them, they will age out of the system and be left with no family !!
Now, ok, there is an 8 year old foster boy in our small town, he lives in a foster home of FOURTEEN KIDS- but he sticks out to us, and we would def. be interested in adopting him, or long term fostering if he is not eligible for adoption. HERE is my question though, and I know I can call social services and find out from them tomorrow, but I was hopig someone might pop in here today and know the answer~! What is the age limitations for adopting? I know that I am old enough.. but am I old enough to adopt a boy that is already just turned 8? What about fostering?
We just cant walk away from this idea, we have tried to put it out of our heads thinking it could never work, but it seems like everyday somthing comes up that pushes us closer and closer to wanting to do this, AND we just found out today that his 10 year old brother is being adopted to someone 2 provinces away- but they dont want 2, they only want the one.
So that is my big question!
Hopfully someone can steer me in the right direction!

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September 22nd, 2008, 05:39 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 24,588
That is so wonderful that you would want to do this! I see you live in Canada so I'm sure the rules are very different there. They are different from state to state here in the US so I'm sure they are different in Canada as well. I hope you find the answers you need - Please come back and let us know!!! Good luck!!!!
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September 23rd, 2008, 10:16 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Sorry I didn't see this yesterday. I am not in Canada and Rebecca is right about there being lots of differences from even state to state in the US. I would caution you a bit though, not to rain on your parade at all though! With a one year old child in your home, it might be very hard to take children older than that child. Most foster children have been through some horendous things and are victims in it all. Unfortunantly, the way most of these kids process their victimization is to lash out against others. If you know this boy and know his caretakers (I'm guessing it is a group home where he stays), ask many many many questions about his behaviour before thinking about adopting him. I'm a foster mom and very passionate about getting older kids, but my DD is only 2 and I first have to protect the family I have in my home. Right now that is DD (2) and my foster son (17 months).

I hope you find all your answers! Let us know what they say! And I commend you for deciding to go this route to enlarge your family! What blessed children will come through your home.

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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September 23rd, 2008, 06:38 PM
waitingtoland's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 645
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I agree that it is a worry to be taking in older children, I think I would caution the same, but I do know this child and I have asked many many questions, he is a very loving little guy and has 2 little baby foster sisters as it is, he has been in this home for a year with out a problem, his problems lay in school, he does not do very well academically, and he is hyyyyyper!! But he is VERY gentle with little ones. Thanks for the concern.
I did finally get some answers, it looks like it would be a go ahead if we become foster parents, (we applied yesturday) and then they would see about moving him to our home as a perminant placement, his band (he is aboriginal) does not sign their kids off to non-aboriginals at this point, but he could quite possibly be placed with us a long term option, as they know his parents are not coming back for him. Funny thing is- his brother is being placed perminatly with a family that the mom is my age, the dad is Dh's age and they also have a 1 year old little girl... weird... if he can be placed with them, then there is no reason we cannot be blessed with the brother in our home. So the plan now is to go ahead and get approved as foster parents, but as for legal adoption, that may not be an option.

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October 4th, 2008, 06:18 PM
m_westbro's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Texas y'all!
Posts: 17,144
Welcome to the group and please keep us posted on your fostering process!

my photog blog / my family blog
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October 18th, 2008, 06:03 AM
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 80
Sally, that is so cool! I'm 26 and DH is 28 and I've always said I wanted to adopt and not have my own. Well when I started to research adoption, DH got scared and said he wanted his own child first, so we have been TTC for 11 months now and at 12 months I will be trying Clomid. I'm really hoping that after our first child he will be okay with adoption. He doesn't really want to foster if we do it, because it would be too hard to have to give the child back if something came up. I to, want to adopt and older child. I want to give a child a home that doesn't have one, rather then bringing more babies into the world. I was thinking about age 4-7 though. DH said he doesn't want one much older then that, but maybe when we are older (like 50's?) we could get a much older child.

I've been in the TTC 6+ months room for a couple months and didn't realize there were other threads until just now. LOL. SO glad I found this one since I hope to adopt some day.

Good luck Sally! I hope you have much success!
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