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Need HELP! gaurdianship? adoption? state to state? HELP!

Forum: Adoption


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March 5th, 2009, 03:18 PM
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: fitchburg, Ma
Posts: 49
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Hi :-) so heres the deal. i was approached by a birthmother and we have become close and i am going to be adopting her baby due may 8th. this is VERY exciting to me and im so overjoyed. my issue is #1 we are not going through an agency.. #2 i dont have a homestudy. Now i KNOW she is not going to back out. she cant. she has a 3yr old disabled boy she just had to give custody of to her parents, she is currently living with them and has no job nor money, she cannot work at the moment and is in a tight spot. shes getting a divorse (not my baby's father) and is saving to finalize that(she needs 560 dollars) shes very young and is trying to go to school. shes sleeping on the floor of her parents living room and does not have anywhere FOR a baby nor does she have ANY financial support for the baby. she also does not have the time nor enoguhg attention to give to the baby ( her son takes alot of attention and patience) she is a good mother and is just going through hard times. she is doing this BECAUSE she loves her kids. now my question is without an agency and without having a honestudy how can i legally take the baby home from the hospital? can the baby have my last name or will that have to be changed? can she use my last name on the birth certificate? what i plan on doing (and she knows and agrees to this) is if i cannot do the adoption because of the homestudy she plans on writing a letter giving me gaurdianship and having it witnessed and noterized at the hospital. NOW heres another issue.. i live in mass she lives in VA.. the baby WILL be born in VA and i will be traveling to pick him up. how will this all work. im so nervous but excited! ive had 2 misscarriages and felt so hopeless.. ive wanted and been trying for over a year to conceive. please anyone who knows about this, what i need to do.. how easy/difficult this is and what the best route is.. help! she is willing to sign over gaurdianship and we can petition for adoption once i meet all the requirements (my home study) i trust her and she wants me to have this baby.. she CANT take him home (has nothing for him and nowhere to put him.. i have everything and open arms waiting at home for him) and she DOES NOT want him to end up in foster care ( and nor do i!) please help!
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March 5th, 2009, 05:29 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,579
Congratulations on finding a birthmom! I believe you still have time, providing you can get on the ball right away. As far as I know, and I think it's this way in each state, you will need a homestudy (it can take up to 2 months) and you need to have an attorney to file paperwork with the court. You can't take the baby home or anything without any of this being done. And, with you being in one state and the baby being born in another, there's the Interstate Compact Agreement that has it's own set of rules on top of your state stuff. I would get in touch with several attorneys right away and find out how much they charge for an out of state adoption. Some attorney's here in Washington state charge $10k right up front (ours is only charging us $2000 plus court fees, home study fees, etc - when we find our birthmom that is). So, yes you should probably get on the ball with this one.

Again, congrats on finding a birthmom!! I wish we could be so lucky!!

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March 5th, 2009, 07:45 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Yes, what Jessica said.

I would get a lawyer immediately and start with all the paperwork. Even signing over guardianship you better have a lawyer. If she signs over guardianship, you should be able to take the baby home with you.

Congrats!! I hope it all works out wonderfully and easy!

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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March 10th, 2009, 04:12 AM
mswordwiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ATL
Posts: 1,902
WOW that is awesome on finding a birth mom. GET AN ATTY PRONTO is my only advice, some states require a foster license during the period until the adoption order is finalized.
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March 10th, 2009, 05:08 PM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
what everyone said and Good Luck!!
Jessa, married to Blake these past fourteen years. Beginning the adoption process.

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