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Forum: Adoption


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September 20th, 2009, 09:55 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 932
Im new here, my fiance and I are looking into fostering and adopting..I have a 6yr old daughter and my SO has a 2yr old son..who was living with his mom up until july when child services removed him from her home. Now the thing I dont get is..they never called his bio dad, which is my SO to inform him..so he went to foster care....we have been calling the worker for over 2 months now and only thursday have we even got an answer to our calls.
Now we are waiting on the supervisor to call us back...whenever he gets around to it.
NOW with the way the foster care system is..up here in canada its pretty full, why didnt they call us? My SO took the mom to court in feb. for custody, but agreed on mediation and the mom took off and moved all over and didnt bother about the mediation and stuff. But when he called the worker the worker brushed him off..even though HIS son wasnt supposed to move 20km aways.
It makes me mad and now they are making US jump through hoops to get him back like we are the enemies.
Because we were looking into adoption we have been to a few classes and stuff and are ready to call for our home visit.....why dont they look at that too?
Im very frustrated right now.
Will we ever get him?

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September 21st, 2009, 04:34 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
You should have him. That's annyoingly ridiculous that the system didn't call him first.

A personal question... was he married to her when they had their son? Has he ever had a paternity test done to confirm that this is his son? In our state, the father who is not currently living with the mother of the child is not considered the father until paternity is established. Most of the time mom doesn't even tell their CW who the father is.

However, that you guys have been calling to talk with the CW and not getting return calls and such is HORRIBLE! This should not still be going on. Keep calling, everyday. Or better yet, if you live close enough, drive down (your husband going would be better) and demand to speak to someone before you leave. If you can't speak with the CW, ask for their supervisor, if you can't speak with them, ask for their supervisor. Document every single time you call and what was said to you. If you have a way, record the calls, but at least sit down after the call and write down the name of the person you spoke with, the time, and whatever was said. Ask for emails (the CW should give it to you) and email that conversation to her/him and say something like, "I just want to be sure that I understood you today when you said, "____." That way you have documentation that you wrote down what was said.

Unfortunantly, the system is overworked, and it is hard to get in touch with people and sometimes CWs seem less than helpful when it comes to things like this. But keep asking and pushing until something is done.

Eventually... hopefully sooner rather than later... your stepson will be home with you.

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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September 21st, 2009, 09:29 PM
Jessa78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lynchburg, VA
Posts: 903
I couldn't have said it better than that. I'll keep you and yours in my T&P until this little boy comes home.

Jessa, married to Blake these past fourteen years. Beginning the adoption process.

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