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DH adopting a baby not biologically his right from birth???

Forum: Adoption


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December 17th, 2009, 05:15 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: St. Louis,MO
Posts: 590
Hi ladies! I am from the Feb 2010 DDC. Im dropping in to see if anyone here has had experience with DH adopting a child not biologically his from birth. Yes, from birth. We were seperated when i became pregnant. We decided to give this one last shot and found out i was pregnant that same week. So he has been by my side since i was 6 weeks pregnant. Im now 32 weeks pregnant and concerned about how all this is going to work once she is born. The bio-dad lives her in town but we have had no contact. He knows i am pregnant,..but ran from the situation. We have tried for many months to contact him over what he wants to do, but he refuses to respond.

So What do i do??? Does DH sign birth cert and we go about our life? Or does this turn into a huge legal battle?? Im so confused.

I was told that my attorney could send bio-dad a letter stating he has 30 days to respond and that if he failed all his parental rights would be history and he could never fight for custody,..Then giving DH all rights. But i have no clue how this all works and i have left 2 messages with my attorney this week but he is slammed with court hearings and hasnt gotten back to me yet.

Any advice is much appreciated! Thanks ladies
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December 19th, 2009, 05:55 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
In Alabama (where I live), the mother does not have to put a father's name on the birth certificate. If she does not name the father, the father then has no legal rights until paternity is established (i.e. a genetic test). I believe if the person she names is not the bio father, he still is treated as the bio father all rights and such unless paternity is established to be another man.

I had a friend who recently gave up twins for adoption. Her husband was not the father. The bio father knew about the kids but decided not to be a part. He came back about 2 weeks after the babies were born (They'd already moved in with their new family) and decided he wanted to be a part. He had no legal rights, but did give them a scare.

I'd keep trying to get in touch with your atty. It's better to get all the legal ducks in a row quickly before the child is older.

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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December 21st, 2009, 03:24 AM
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I think it mostly depends on your state.A close friend went though this.She and the bio dad were not together because he was very abusive and he was compleatly unsupportive of the pregnancy.She moved on and got deeply involved with someone else.The baby was born and a few months after they decided to marry and he really wanted to adopt the baby.She had to get a lawyer,contact bio dad,and he HAD to sign away his parental rights before her DH could adopt.That way all parties were protected.The bio dad couldn't stand up in 5 years and say hey I want my kid and if she and her husband didn't work out she couldn't go after bio dad for support money.
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December 28th, 2009, 08:43 PM
xanada101's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
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Definitely depends on the state.... BUT how is the hospital going to know that your husband is NOT the biological father?? They won't. If your husband decides to sign the papers, HE is considered the father and it is legally binding in court.

(SO knowing that he is not the father and he signs the papers... and IF you two decide to split up after the fact he will still be responsible for your child... including child support.)
Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy

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February 5th, 2010, 07:37 PM
Amber...1...2...3's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Alexandria, KY
Posts: 685
Here in KY they make you watch a paternity video before a father can be put on birth certificate if you are not married. That video says that if you are married the husband would be on the birth certificate until dna test proves otherwise, or if the husband and the biological father both sign papers stating that husband isnt the father. Seems that this is something that you would want to make sure that you talk to your lawyer/attorney who knows your state laws. I know someone that was in your situation and her husband signed the birth certificate and went on with life. That has been years ago and they are still a happy family with no problems! Hope this helps ya! Best of luck!
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March 26th, 2010, 07:49 PM
RayofHope's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: California
Posts: 6,634
In Ca. he could sign the birth certificate as taking responsibility and that it. To get a paternity test in ca is a very very hard thing to do. The Anna Nicole Smith baby drama wasnt only because she was a celebrity it really is a legal battle for anyone.
Lydia married to Robert Parents to Hope-7 & Ray -6 & our last blessing due June 2015.
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March 28th, 2010, 03:20 PM
Bug-n-Ed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,521
In a lot of states, a legal husband is considered the father whether he is biologically the father or not, until proven otherwise by a paternity test. If the biological father wants nothing to do with the baby, I would just put your husband down as the father on the birth certificate or not list one. Just to be safe, you might want to contact an attorney regarding the matter.
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