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Relationship w/Birth family ..open/semi open/closed adoptions

Forum: Adoption


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December 26th, 2009, 04:59 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 7,986
To the ladies considering,already in the process or have adopted. Do you plan on having an open,semi open or closed adoption. Will you tell the child from the start or wait until later? If you have adopted are you having the type of relationship you had hoped with the birth mom/family?

Im hoping to have an open adoption with our daughters biological family especially if she has siblings. To us its important to let them know their history/family from the start so there arent questions and surprises later on. I found a website that has an adoption story book..you can order it and it will put your child's name as the main character..helps them understand from an early age their adoption story.

2 of my cousins are adopted..1st one was not told about the adoption until his teen years (he was told when they started adopting a little girl)..it did not go well ..there were many years of pulling back from us (said we werent his family and he didnt want us as family, started getting in to a lot of trouble at school) and his parents and just a general distrust. He has grown past those feelings now but it took him a long time..about 10yrs.

His sister knew from the get go and my aunt had a semi open relationship..pictures lettters ect. My cousin has never had issues with her adoption like her older brother did.

We will have an easier time of explaining since our daughter will be older and will be from foster care so she will already know her biological family and that she is adopted.

As long as her bio family respects our boundaries and the situation then we will maintain contact maybe a visit once a year and pictures and letters throughout the year.

What are you plans and/or expectations for your child's adoption?

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