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Forum: Adoption


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January 27th, 2010, 01:00 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 814
Hi ~ I'm Candi, happily married, 26 years old, mom to 2 boys, ages 3 and 1 and live in TX.

I'm very interested in foster/adoption but was wondering......

If you adopt from a foster family/group, is the cost the same as adopting otherwise? In other words, I know if you foster, its almost free, but what if you are not sure about fostering and just want to adopt from a foster home.....does that make sense?

My fear of fostering is that we have a couple in our church who had been taking care of a boy since he was 3 weeks old. I don't know all the details, but I believe they were working toward adoption and the birth mother just recently was given custody back and he was about 17 months old. It has been SO heartbreaking for them and for the boy also. He did not understand at all and his personality has totally changed since he went back to his mother.

Also, if you foster to adopt (is that right?) what age are you looking at for the child?
I am definitely open to adopting older children but not until my own children are older. So would adopting a baby be an option from a foster home?

And for those that have done private adoptions, how did you go about it? Did you post a profile of yourselves and wait for a birth mom to choose you? And what is the cost for that kind of adoption?

Whew!! After all the research I seem to still have a ton of questions, lol! Thanks for any help!
Happily married for 8 years, with 2 boys, Ethan (5) and Caleb (3), and Baby Joviana due any day now!

Make a pregnancy ticker
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January 27th, 2010, 01:39 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
I am in Canada, and I didn't foster. My adoptions were private direct adoptions, the easiest ones in Canada. Bio grandparents found us, bio parents were unable to care for the kids. We took the twins first, they were in NICU when we met them and have never lived anywhere but with us-we paid a lawyer $2k and their adoption was finalized on Dec 4th. Now we've been asked to adopt their older sister, so we're doing this ourselves, no lawyer, for a total cost of $400-$15 to pay for the package from the govt and approx $300 to have a lawyer sign the consents with the bio parents. E is in our home, has had no contact with parents or anyone since she got here 12 days ago, and we're beginning to fill out the adoption paper work and will send it to the bio parents for consents next week. Look into your state's adoption laws, or call a court clerk or someone to walk you through it-that's what we did here. Good luck in expanding your family!

Lucky mother to five!

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January 27th, 2010, 02:16 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
I'm a foster to adopt parent.

You can go through the foster system to adopt a child (just straight adoption... not fostering) if you want to do that. You will RARELY get a baby though. Usually the kids who are available for adoption are over the age of 3 or have medical issues. I don't want to discourage you, as I ADORE the foster system of adoption, but you should have the facts.

If you foster to adopt, you are more likely to receive a baby, but as you've seen in your friend's case, the plan can change and that child can go home. You have to be willing to do whatever you can for the child while you have him and be willing to say goodbye if that time comes.

When you start the process of foster to adopt or straight adoption through the foster system, you will be asked what type of child you are looking for. You can mark as many or as few things as you'd like. Some people cannot handle children with major medical issues, others can, some folks really want a child who will physically look like the rest of the family (i.e. a caucasion family requests a caucasion child) others don't care about that at all. It's up to what you think your family would handle the best.

The cost for adopting through foster care is minimal (virtually free). What costs are incurred can be reimbursed through the state. So for strictly a cost view, it's the best route. But there are lots of other factors.

Feel free to ask any more questions about fostering. I LOVE doing it. You can write on the board (I check here as often as I can) or feel free to PM me as well.

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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