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Children with disabilitys

Forum: Adoption


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May 27th, 2010, 10:25 PM
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 238
I was talking to a friend about this today. I keep thinking I want to have another child. I am a single mother to a 8yr old boy. I am 26yrs old. Never been married.. Considering adopting a child with disability. I am looking into down syndrome adoptions just out of curiosity for the moment. I found this website but I don't know how "true" it is Reece's Rainbow I was looking at all the photos of the beautiful children and my heart is aching..

So my question is.. Have you had experiencing adopting a child with DS or another disability
Can a single mother adopt? I noticed on this website several children underneath their names say single moms welcome. I'm not rich but I love children and i've always had a special place in my heart for children and teenagers with downs.

I am hoping to post at this forum more often to get to know you ladies..

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Last edited by JustinsMom512; May 27th, 2010 at 10:45 PM.
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May 28th, 2010, 06:56 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 3,968
Its difficult, and no one can really tell you exactly how its going to be. I work with mentally challenged people ages 18 - 80 so Ive seen the broad spectrum of cases. Depending on how severe, you could be taking care of this child your whole life. Some things to consider is that, when your in your sixties, your still be supporting a grown individual. But if you adopt a child with mild ds or autism, they can usually live on their own or in assited living.

Also your other child, will be very effected. The adopted child will need alot of your attention and take alot of time away from your current child. It would be alot for your little boy to take in, (espically him being an only child.)

And just one more thing, you being a single mom, you'll probably be putting your child(ren) in daycare. (Or having someone babysit them.) Often these people arent trained to watch and care for mentally challenged children. They need to be watched closer than other children because of pica (a disorder common to mentally challenged children,) and other social reasons. You may have to hire someone whos been trained, or find a facility that knows how to properly supervise mentally challenged children.

Not that Im tyring to talk you out of it. (I highly support all adoption.) I myself want to adopt children who have been disgnosed HIV positive.

But I just wanted to bring up some of the points that people dont usually think about.

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May 28th, 2010, 10:11 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
My foster son who we are working hard to adopt has a LOT of special needs. He has autism and broad spectrum delays. He came to us with no real diagnosis other than failure to thrive. I adore him. I mean really... he is all love.

However, it doesn't mean it is all easy. We have lots of changes in our family (diet changes, habits, etc.) to accomodate him and that is hard on my DH and my DD. We make it work. It's all part of being a family.

I'd look into what kinds of help you receive through your state and such when adopting a special needs child. Sometimes you get specific subsidies and even therapies for free. Perhaps medicaid as well... which would help with the medical bills you'd incur.

I think it is WONDERFUL to consider adopting special needs kids. There is such a need for that! You can probably go through child services to adopt as well, which is cheaper than an agency many times.

I've never heard many places in America not allowing single parents to adopt. Other countries are sometimes more strict. So you shouldn't have an issue there.

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May 28th, 2010, 12:29 PM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,009
I am a single mommy and adopting. It is doable, I am not saying it is easy.
I am adopting my nephew who I have had since his birth. He has had an array of issues since birth but thankfully nothing major as of yet. We are thinking the diagnosis will eventually be FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome). It's considered a foster/adopt situation because he was in care (even though my sister (the birthmom) got her other two kids back) they are still considering it adoption from foster care. So it won't be as costly as adopting him straight out, because I am not rich either.

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May 28th, 2010, 08:50 PM
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 238
Thanks for your replies... I have a great support system at home. Two very loving parents and 3 siblings of my own. I have experience with DS children that's why I am so interested in fostering or adopting a child with DS. Before I had my son I was very involved with peer tutoring and the special Olympics in my area. I had a DS friend from school who actually stayed with me a lot too. Her mother worked 2 jobs to support her and her little brother so I would take her home with me and help her with home work and sometimes she stayed the night or I would stay the night with her too.. They are very special children.

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