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Forum: Adoption


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May 28th, 2010, 08:03 AM
Lex&angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: France
Posts: 3,736
Hi, my name is Lex, I'm 22 and DH is 23. We've been married for 2 1/2 years now.

I've always wanted to adopt, partly because my parents were considering adopting their next children but it never worked out - but it always stayed with me.

Since we are still young and low on funds, we thought we'd try for biological children first (we are good at budgeting and wouldn't have too much trouble raising a child, but convincing an agency of that is another story because we have entry-level jobs for now)

We have been trying to conceive for a year, with 2 early miscarriages in the past few months and so we've decided that if it happens again we will stop trying and focus all our energies on adoption, even if that means it'll take years of waiting. It's just so hard I don't think I can go through it again.

The process is very different (we live in France) and somewhat longer, from what I've read lurking on this board. The agencies really also expect adopting parents to have pretty high incomes so we're worried it will take years.

So for now I'm mainly interested in reading everybody else's stories, especially on bonding with the child, and also in the case of international adoption how you integrate the culture from their country of origin into your home - or not. I'm American and French and he is British and French, so I guess the cultural issue is an important one to us especially.

I'm also worried about my In-Law's reactions. They seem so negative about adoption and think we're still young and should try more and use adoption only as a last resort. That really bothers me, I don't believe adoption should be a last resort, we were going to adopt anyway, only our 2d or 3d child. Who knows, my next pregnancy might stick and we might end up going with the original plan for adopting #2 or #3.
Thankfully my parents completely understand and are supportive.

Another thing is that in France, the only option is a closed adoption, but I would almost prefer an open adoption, or semi-open. So we're considering maybe moving to the US (I'm American, so this is possible) in a few years and adopting from there. I don't really know how it's all going to work out. Another option is moving to the UK. Or staying here.

Last edited by Lex&angels; May 28th, 2010 at 08:08 AM.
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May 28th, 2010, 08:37 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 3,968
Wow, good luck dear (Ill be praying for you.) Adoption even in the best conditions takes years.

Im so sorry about your losses, I lost two myself. Its heartbreaking I know. Were taking a break so I can go to school.

Welcome to the board, and I hope you adoption the perfect child(ren) to complete your family

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May 30th, 2010, 02:15 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,103
I wish I had some advice to share with you but we are just getting started with the process ourselves. We are adoption domestically in the US and are hoping for an open adoption as well. One thing to consider with an open adoption is that if you move back to the US to adopt you may not be able to move back to France later on, depends on what kind of agreement is put into place.

Goodluck with everything, I hope that things come together for you soon!

Yet another wonderful siggy by HeatherW.... thank you so much!!!

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June 4th, 2010, 10:46 AM
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 32
Wow! i admire your initiative. Good Luck!
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