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Any experience with adopting distant relatives child or adopting child with add.?

Forum: Adoption


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July 15th, 2010, 09:39 AM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 23
Recently, my DH and I got a call about a distant niece of his. His father was MIA after she was born and the mother is a Cocaine addict.

They tracked down the father and he waived all of his parental rights. The baby was taken from the mother after birth and she soon signed over her rights.

The baby is now five weeks old, is addicted to Cocaine because of the mother, and may have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. They are unsure because the mother never admitted alcohol abuse during pregnancy, plus the Cocaine Addiction would be more important at the moment. We are the only relatives that are young and financially able to take the baby.

My DH and I have been wanting to adopt. After our son was born, we didn't want to risk another preemie baby and our doctor advised against try again for a biological child.

We are just really, really worried about the cocaine addiction and possible Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. If we don't take her, she would have to be put into foster, but if we do adopt her there are so many unknowns.

Please, any advice or experiences?
Elijah Javon (6/15/07) and Kaydence Brielle (1/15/04)

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July 15th, 2010, 10:37 AM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 23
Update: We decided to adopt her. We had a feeling we would. We just couldn't stand to see her go into foster care.

She will come live with us in about a week. She will be considered our ward until we adopt which they informed us could be anywhere from 1 month to a year.
Elijah Javon (6/15/07) and Kaydence Brielle (1/15/04)

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July 15th, 2010, 11:03 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Once detoxed from the cocaine, the more issues you'll have are from the FAS. It sounds like you understand how to handle a child with developmental delays due to your son's prematurity (my daughter was born at 27 weeks), so that will help too. I have heard from friends who have fostered cocaine babies that swaddling VERY tight helps tremendously. And that they scream like no other sound in the world for a while. But it does get better.

Good luck with your new adventure! I pray she will fit right into your family and you'll just enjoy all your new family!

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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July 15th, 2010, 02:08 PM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,009
First off I think Congrats are in order. Congrats!!!!!!!! I got custody of my niece Katie when she was 9 months old. She has pFAS (partial fetal alcohol syndrome). A child with FAS can be a challange but at the same time very rewarding. If your new bundle of joy does in fact have FAS, just remember (not all children with FAS have the same symptoms, just letting you know some pointer that have helped with K) that children with FAS have to be taught differently, they need lots of reminders, it takes them longer to process information, and they need lots of extra attention.
Again congrats on your new bundle of joy!!!

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Last edited by AlexKatieAiden Mommy; July 17th, 2010 at 10:40 AM.
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