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Arrgh! Can't decide! (x-posted)

Forum: Adoption


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July 21st, 2010, 05:58 PM
Posts: n/a
DH and I aren't going to officially begin the adoption process until the end of the year, but we are trying to make some basic decisions, investigating agencies, domestic vs. international adoption, etc.

We just can't decide whether to adopt internationally or domestically.

The main reason we would go with domestic is that the process is somewhat faster, the price somewhat cheaper, and we could get a newborn ( I just really want at least one more baby in my lifetime). My main hesitation is the uncertainty. I've read that 30-50% of all domestic infant adoptions fail. I'm just not sure we want to go through that. I guess we could look at it as the same risk of having a miscarriage if we got pregnant...but it would be devastating.

International adoption mainly appeals to us b/c there is no chance of the birth-mom backing out. We also do like the idea of adopting a child who would otherwise grow up in horrible conditions. The cons are time, cost, and the fact that the child would be at least close to a year old. The country we are most strongly considering is Korea.

Ugh. Any thoughts? It seems like whenever we get close to deciding on one option or the other, someone brings up another issue we hadn't thought of. Any thoughts? I know most of you ladies on here are doing domestic adoption. What have your agencies told you about the risks of the birth-mom changing her mind? Do you get your money back if that happens. The one agency I asked about it said that you get matched with another birth-mom with no added expenses.
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July 22nd, 2010, 11:13 AM
SuperMartianRobotMom6's Avatar Proud Mama & Happy Wife
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 3,968
Im personally all for international. Its just where my heart is!

It depends on you and your family situation.

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July 23rd, 2010, 09:43 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: My heart belongs in Washington DC
Posts: 6,415
I agree with Stephanie, it depends on what your family situation is. When I am able to adopt, I will be doing both (I hope.) But I'd like to adopt internationally first. I'm not sure why, it just depends on your family.

Thank you to the wonderful ladies who mad the blinkies!

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude..... These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are percisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character and increase our compassion for others."
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July 23rd, 2010, 10:11 AM
eash's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,969
We adopted my son from Korea about a year and half ago...feel free to PM me with any questions. I obviously vote for that
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