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so i have this friend

Forum: Adoption


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January 17th, 2011, 03:55 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 932
And I dont know what to tell her.
She is prego with #2, due in july. She has an almost 3yr old and we hang out every now and then.
What bugs me is that she doesnt want this baby.. she has told me this since she got pregnant. I asked her why doesnt she adopt it to someone who would love a baby... she said she doesnt want the baby to just go away, she wants to see him/her... ok so do open adoption.. nope, out of the question.. why i dont know...so I said...well we are looking to adopt... she says ya but then i would see you everyday and that would hurt me. OK well what are u going to do?
Right now they are barely making ends meet...well they arent. They are alot of money behind and facing eviction. They live on noodles and rice. She is almost 18weeks and hasnt seen a doctor yet. I offer to drive her to her drs. Im there for her no matter what.
BUT i dont know what to do ... she told me the only reason she didnt have an abortion is because she just had one last march!!.
She also said, since she found out we are moving that she would adopt to us, because she would only see us occasionally, but her bf is sooo excited she cant take that away from him. He is never home..and wanted her to abort it in the first place. WTH.
what can i do??

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January 17th, 2011, 10:15 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
I'm in a similar situation, but I should find out the outcome this week.

Nothing you can do, the baby belongs to the parents until a judge signs and says otherwise, its really sad.

Lucky mother to five!

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January 17th, 2011, 11:08 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 932
its just sooo frustrating.
Im in the middle of baby fever(lol neverending!) and we are in the process of the foster to adopt application BUT i have to have my divorce papers before we go any further!! which is really annoying because SO and I have been together for 3yrs now and ex hubby and I have been seperated for 4yrs. He just hasnt 'gotten around" to it.
So we have 3months to wait til they finally go through. Then we have to do the foster parent training, which takes about 2-3weeks but will take us forever since SO is only home 10days a month!! LOL so it makes me mad when this happens.
It makes me mad because she was always the first to say how irresponsible my sister was when she only saw a doctor twice in her pregnancy(issues with her also!)
sorry im venting too. I already deal with a bio mom who sees her kids when it suits her, and didnt really want any boys, just girls so she doesnt give them time of day!! its maddening because she sees what I go thru with my two boys mom and then turns around and acts the same.

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January 18th, 2011, 05:56 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175

Lucky mother to five!

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February 6th, 2011, 07:30 PM
txjovigal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 1,902
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As hard as this is, try to back away from the situation. Harden your heart. I know its tough but it will make it easier for you if she chooses to keep it.

I just went thru this, offered a baby then mom changed her mind. its hard to do but I stayed neutral thru the whole thing..
Esmy & Tony
~*~ TTC since 12/02 ~*~

working on my 3rd, for sure by 11/15/11
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