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fostering and pregnancy

Forum: Adoption


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February 9th, 2011, 12:28 PM
SaucyBoss's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 183
Hello everyone,
I know this is an adoption forum, but I wasn't sure where else to put this. I'm hoping for some input because I'm really on the fence.

DH and I have been TTC for almost a year and a half. Since we were having unexplained fertility issues, we discussed fostering and really warmed up to the idea. I have a friend who is a foster parent, and my neighbour as well, and I really like the idea of helping these children have a safe and happy home. DH started feeling the same way and we both became really excited about it. So I made an appointment with a family service worker, who is supposed to be coming to our house on Feb 16 for a short home study/interview. Thing is, I only found out last week that we are finally pregnant!

We are thrilled to be pregnant, but now wonder what to do about fostering. DH still wants to take in a foster child, but I'm a little nervous because pregnancy can be so unpredicatable, not to mention the extra work load in the house....

Have any of you gone through this or something similar? I know we could always wait until our baby is born and a little older, but DH kind of had his heart set on having a large family in the first place - foster and bio children combined, and wants me to keep the appointment. What do you think?

TTC #3 since Sept. 2009
BFP February 4, 2011!
EDD October 9, 2011

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February 10th, 2011, 01:40 PM
Jessie0505's Avatar Finally a Mommy!
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Japan
Posts: 4,016
you know we did the same exact thing..except 2 weeks after we were certified we found out we were pregnant! After 3 long years of infertility treatments and everything! Congrats to you that is great! We have decided that we still would like to adopt..we dont do foster care due to the fact our licensing worker didnt think it would be a good idea b/c of the infertility...so we are foster to adopt..and we have gotten a few calls and will only take younger children...they are lighter and easier for us...but we havent had many call..we are trying to put it in Gods hands..we still want to adopt..so if a child comes along and God sees fit..we will take that child..for now..we are focusing on the child i am carrying! Good luck hun..i hope you can come to peace with what to do!
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February 11th, 2011, 06:51 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
I am a foster parent. I was already a foster parent when I got pregnant with my sweet little Daniel. About a month after I found out, I got a call for a sibling set of 3 who would be in care until about June (we were due in July). I accepted but I let them know I was pregnant.

In about March I had to say it was too much. I had my bio daughter (3 years old at the time) and my long term foster son (2 years old at the time) and the three other kids (6, 4, and 18months). I just couldn't continue taking care of everyone and having the complications in my pregnancy too. So I called and let them know that if they planned to reunite the kids, sooner was better. They did and the kids moved home in March. It was a good situation that they moved back into, so I was happy for them. I miss them a lot sometimes, but it really was too much for me.

Now, that being said... I would personally say you shouldn't foster until after you have your bio child and y'all get into a nice routine. Or, only foster short term placements for a while and put them on hold in your third trimester until after you have the baby and get scheduled. Many people say you shouldn't foster when you have an infant. I'm not sure about that, but I would say I wouldn't foster your FIRST foster child when you have an infant. It is a hard adjustment and not something I'd want to do when adjusting to having my first bio child too.

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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