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March 15th, 2011, 08:26 AM
Kayla0308's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 424
Hello Everyone! My name is Kayla - I'm new to this board but not new to justmommies. I dont even know if this is going to be the right place for me.

So here is my story - My ex husband and I have a now 4 year old little boy. Me and him have fought for years about him giving out son up for adoption to my now fiance. Well aparently this weekened he decided that he was ready to give him up. He say's he "cant be a parent to my son every other weekend"...As much as I dislike this guy and am happy he is fianlly realizing what is going to be best for our son. It also kills me that he can just up and decide that he doesnt want to be a parent any more. Its like he is just washing his hands clean from ever have created my son. So from what I know now - My fiance can adopt my son before we get married - its aparently a little bit of a longer process but its possible in my state.

I'm still trying to adjust to this whole thing and I know in a few years my son is going to ask why his dad didn't want him. I'm wondering if anyone has any good advice or even some really good books that i can read and maybe some that will help me when the time comes about my son asking questions.

Thanks so much,


Mark and Kayla
Jasmine-7, Eamon-4, Zaylee-1
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March 16th, 2011, 05:21 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Hi and welcome! I don't know much about step parent adoptions, so I'm sorry I cannot help you. But I am glad your ex is thinking of your son finally. I think I'd just be open with him about it. Never bad-mouth his bio father but just make a point that sometimes fathers can't be the best parent, so they allow another person to do that and his DADDY (your new husband) loves him very much.

I've looked for step-parent adoption books before and there really aren't any out there. There are some that might help with the understanding though (like Horton Hatches An Egg).

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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March 16th, 2011, 04:25 PM
Kayla0308's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 424
Thank you so much, I'll have to look into getting that book. I know that when that day comes its going to kill me when he askes why his dad didnt want him especially when his dad has 4 other children (1 of which he is giving up for adoption as well), so in the end of his 5 children he is only planning on remaining a father to 3 of them - Its horrible. I just dont know how to explain that to my son on why his dad gave him and his brother up - but kept his oldest brother and his two younger sisters....

Thank you for your imput i'll look into some more books.

Mark and Kayla
Jasmine-7, Eamon-4, Zaylee-1
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