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have an interesting opportunity ***UPDATE****

Forum: Adoption


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April 9th, 2011, 04:46 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 932
I have the opportunity to be a guardian for a girl(23) and her child who is almost 1, as well as her baby when it is born, she is 27weeks pregnant right now. They would move into our house and i would help her raise her children and teach her life skills..... my heart is saying do it but my mind is telling me to hold on.
What would you do?

to update, i went and met with her worker yesturday, and learned alot. We would be her guardian for only a short time, and then the boys would move into our house. She would help around the house but wouldnt be responsible for the boys, we would.
It would be a foster to adopt situation.
Which is very good. Just what we were loooking for.
The best part is there was no drugs or alcohol with either kid and the 1yr old is developmentally on ..which isnt a big deal, but it makes a difference when you look at our two boys right now.
So awesome news..now we have a meeting may 18!!

Last edited by beccasmom7718; April 15th, 2011 at 04:54 PM.
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April 10th, 2011, 08:28 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Personally, I couldn't do it, BUT that's because of our fertility struggles and the fact I'm only 4 years older than that myself. I think if I were you I'd have to examine why your mind says "Hold on" before giving an answer. What does DH think about it?

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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April 10th, 2011, 07:26 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Hmmm... I'm not sure. I think I would weigh who it was and how well I knew that person very heavily before going forward with such young children of my own in the house. I'm not sure I understand how you could be guardian for such an old person though? Are you saying you would be guardian of her children? I'm a bit confused?

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April 10th, 2011, 08:48 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 932
nope id be her guardian as well.
there is a thing here that if you are older but cant really make life choices and decisions on your own you are appointed a guardian to help you with life period.
But I will be talking to her social worker.
Im fine with her living her and such..we would lay lots of rules and such down. We already dont allow drinking or any sort of drugs in our house, so thats a no brainer..but , we will see.

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April 11th, 2011, 12:23 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953
Hi Beccasmom,
I've seen you on the sn board. Sorry I can't remember your name.

Anyway...I tend to follow my heart before my head in situations like this. But sometimes that gets me into trouble. I think if you know this girl and feel confident that you can give her what she needs and help her transition to something more perminant (I'm assuming her staying with you would be temporary) and the rest of your family is on board too then go for it. But it seems like a pretty complicated situation so you'll need to go into it carefully. Does this girl have special needs herself? or is she just lacking guidance? Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you.
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April 11th, 2011, 02:16 PM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,925
If helping here is in your heart that sounds like an amazing opportunity. So long as you are sure you can handle it and she is serious about doing the right things for herself and her children. There are probably not many people who would help such a woman and so you would be giving her a great gift. This is something I could definatly see myself doing but I would have to make very sure I trusted her well and that it was clear she was going to do her best for her children and that I wouldnt end up being the one who takes care of them while she goes and does whatever she wanted. I would think about it carefully but if your heart keeps telling you yes than that may be a sign.

Me(35) DS(12) DS(14)

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April 11th, 2011, 03:08 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Is there a way you can do this without her living in your home? I have a friend who is guardian for special needs adults and she takes care of their money and helps them just learn to live on their own, but she does this while they live in their own homes. I wonder if they might be an option? I guess I'd be more willing to do something like if I didn't have young children at home.

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July 4th, 2011, 02:21 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 2
Wow, I hate to sound negative, but I would be concerned with a girl that age, once she gets a handle on life, what would prevent her from keeping the children, too? That would be VERY hard on all involved, if you are looking at adopting her children.
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