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Forum: Adoption


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September 19th, 2011, 03:52 PM
Mrs.Paradise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,357
I have lurked for a while now... and more and more I find myself wanting to adopt... my name is Jessica and hubby is Mark! we have been TTC for over 2 years now this time around and a few years before we tried for almost a year to get pregnant to no avail... and still havent been able to have a baby... this journey is sooooooooooooo hard and frustrating Im to the point of giving up and just being DONE! my husband on the other hand is not ready to throw in the towel just yet... I understand why hes not ready yet... but I feel like some times he doesnt take into account of how I feel... Ive talked with him about adoption sooooooooooooo many times I feel like Im a broken record... a few months ago we compromised and said that we would TTC until Feb. then Im DONE! I want to try to loose weight and get healthy physically and mentally and all the while NTNP... and I want to start the adoption process but hes unsure of that... so I guess my question is to you lovely ladies is how long did it take for your SO/DH to be on board with the whole adoption planning? TIA and Im looking forward to getting to know you all better!

oh I guess I should say... Im going to be 28 next week and my hubby will be 32 this dec. he feels like I have PLENTY of time to get pregnant... but I dont want to be high risk because of my age... not that it would be bad its just not something I want to do if I can help it...
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September 20th, 2011, 06:33 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Welcome! I'm glad you've found us! I hope you'll jump in and post away!!

My DH took years before he got completely on board. Sadly I think what made him really do it was that our son died before he was born in 2007. It was soon after that when he agreed to start the process of fostering to adopt. Once we went through the required classes, he was MUCH more on board. He still has his moments when he is unsure, but we are in the process of adopting our son now and he does love him.

I think, just keep telling him your reasons for wanting it and asking (and listening to) his reasons for not yet. Let him know that starting the adoption process doesn't mean you'll suddenly stop DTD and you can always keep trying for a child, but it will be a lot less stressful on you. I can't tell you how many friends I have who started the adoption process and then got pregnant. LOL. But even if you don't, you'll have the ball rolling toward having your family together as you want.

Good luck!!

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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September 20th, 2011, 12:56 PM
Mrs.Paradise's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,357
GREAT advice! Thanks! I think because there is a possibility that there might be a baby for us to adopt with in the next 9 months that has kind of scared him... heres the story... so my Sil and I were talking about how Im just to the point that I give up with trying and I feel like adoption is our only chance right now... well she was telling me that one of her friends her and her husband cant have children because he is sterile... well his sister who doesnt do drugs or doesnt even drink keeps popping kids out almost every 9 months and doesnt want or have any attachment to them... so she has given my sil's friend 4 of her children and just had another baby in Feb. and she gave that baby to a family friend... so my SIL is going to ask her friend if she thinks that next time she has a baby if I could adopt the baby... so now I just really would like to get my hubby on board with me... so maybe if we talk about it again and again... hopefully I can plant the seed in his mind... lol
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