Log In Sign Up

New, and so lost.

Forum: Adoption


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Adoption LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
December 1st, 2011, 01:31 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,522
Hello! I am Erica, I hae one beautiful son named Peter, he is 8 months old. Our journey to Peter was very hard. I lost 10 pregnancies before I had him. I love him so much! We have been trying (already) for #2 since it took so long to get #1. I have already had 2 losses since Peter was born. I am not willing to have 10 more for another baby.

We have decided to pursue adoption.... We may keep trying for another biological child, but I am honestly not sure how many more losses I can handle. We are lost with all the info out there. I would love a private adoption but don't think we can afford it. I would consider fostering to adopt, but I don't want to displace Peter as our oldest, so we could only do babies, which are scarce and I imagine won't be allowed since we already have an infant.

Anyway! Hi ladies!

Reply With Quote
December 1st, 2011, 01:53 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Hi and welcome! I'm Beth. I am so sorry for all your losses. And Peter is stinking adorable.

I'm a foster and foster to adopt mommy. And you very much can go through the foster system and get young children. With foster to adopt, they place children with you that look like they might need a forever home. It is not a for sure thing, so you have to be willing to support reunification if it is to occur. For me, this was something I could and would do. I believe God will give me the children He wants me to have for the amount of time He wants me to have them, so as hard as it is to say goodbye, I am willing to take on that hurt for the children to have the best.

You can also adopt from foster care without having the uncertainty, but it usually takes a long time to get there if you want only newborns or very young babies. It is NOT impossible though. Many of the foster children who need forever homes have issues like special needs and such. But, again, that is not all either.

With adopting through foster care you can choose a lot about the child who will come into your life. But, of course, things happen as with all children, so sometimes there are surprises.

With private adoption, I know there are some agencies that will set up with a payment plan and handle the exchange of money for you. That might be something you'd want to look into as well.

I'm glad you have found us! I hope you will jump right in!!

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
Reply With Quote
December 1st, 2011, 09:20 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953
Hi Erica! I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine how difficult that must be.

I'm Anna. I have 4 girls. Meagan is 15, Abbey's 13, Kayla will be 9 on Saturday and Ellie is 6. Ellie's adoption was finalized almost a year ago.

I don't have any expirience with fostering/adopting infants myself but I do know a few families with young toddlers who have fostered and adopted babies so it is possible.
The foster system varies a lot by state. I know that at least in my state, even if you just want to adopt through the system you still have to be approved as a foster parent and even with a kinship adoption (adopting a relative; which is what we did) you have to serve as the child's foster family for 6 months before finalizing the adoption. It's more of a formality than anything else but it does mean you have to go through all the classes and be approved by a social worker. (not as scary as it sounds I promise)

Peter is a beautiful boy! I'm glad you're here. Looking forward to getting to know you.

Reply With Quote
December 2nd, 2011, 08:08 PM
MommaLexi's Avatar Adoptive and Foster Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: The Desert ;)
Posts: 587
Hi Erica! I'm very sorry for your losses.

I am a single foster mommy. I specialize in babies/toddlers under 4 who have severe special needs. I don't foster solely to adopt, though I am trying to adopt Avery, one of my current foster children. She is not yet available for adoption, but will be once they get through some red tape.

Beth is right in that you get to choose the age, special needs/none, etc, that your foster to adopt child will have. The narrower your preferences, the longer it will take to get a child. But don't leave them open just because you want a child sooner, if you only want a healthy child, you should wait. I only say this because I see people do this a lot, and see the sad aftermath.

I wish you tons of luck on your journey! Whatever you decide!

FD ~ Squishy, 8mos old, Down Syndrome, Heart Disease (post open-heart surgery)
Reply With Quote
January 20th, 2012, 07:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New Brunswick
Posts: 2,680
Hey Erica, I'm new here too (been lurking for a bit)...but you might remember that we're hoping to adopt our next child. *hugs* Losses are so heartbreaking. I hope that you are able to get some answers about adoption as you begin your adoption journey.
Abigail-Mama to Landon, Layla and Micaiah

Reply With Quote
January 22nd, 2012, 01:42 AM
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 165
I am new to the adoption process as well My DH and I are doing the Foster Adoption and we are on our way with our process. If you have any questions I will try as much as I can to help answer them.
Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:18 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0