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Adoption without an agency? Questions, please help. :)

Forum: Adoption


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May 15th, 2012, 12:12 AM
catielove's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 613
Ok, a little back story:

I am 23. My husband is 25. We have been married for two and a half years. NTNP for 2.5 years and then moved to actively TTC in September last year. I have PCOS, and our insurance does not cover ANY forms of fertility treatment. We are not willing to pay out of pocket for IUI, IVF, etc. because they are not guaranteed to work. So I started doing homeopathic remedies to try to conceive that way. Went on a lower GI diet for the PCOS, and started taking soy isoflavones to ovulate. But I don't even have a period without medication, so I'm feeling like us TTC is pretty pointless unless something with our insurance changes.

I have always wanted to adopt. Hubby is ok with the idea of adoption, but he would prefer biological children first. To me it doesn't matter. I am now to the point where I am sick of TTC, and would rather put my energy and efforts into finding a child to adopt. (I prefer to adopt a newborn, at least the first time.)

I know that adoption, even just the court costs/lawyer fees, is very expensive. We are willing to pay for them, no question. My husband has a good job, and we while we do have a fair amount of debt, it is under control and well managed. We want for nothing, and our child(ren) would have everything they needed. But I know that adoption agencies are an added cost. My nephew is adopted, but my sister was given custody of him by his birth mother when the birth mom went to jail. There was no agency involved, she just signed him over to my sister and that was it.

I'm wondering how likely it would be to find a birth mom willing to work out an adoption agreement outside of an agency? Or if we did go through an agency, what are some average fees for those, and would our financial situation prohibit us from adopting a baby? Do you know of any online services that match birth moms with prospective adoptive parents outside of an agency? (like the baby want-ads, as bad as that sounds. lol.) I live in Indiana, if you know our states specific laws.

Thanks in advance to anyone who can help. <3
Wyatt Russell, expected August 1!
Protect your son. Research circumcision.
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May 15th, 2012, 11:58 AM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953
First of all, Hi and welcome to the board!

I really don't have any experience with an agency so I can't answer those questions for you but I do know that it is possible to do a direct private adoption. Not sure what the process is for that but if my memory is correct I think there are at least two mammas on this board who have gone that route. Hopefully one or both of them will chime in.

My adoption expirience was a kinship adoption (adopting a relative) through foster care. In our case it was practically free. The state reimbursed us for almost everything including most of the court costs. As far as I know this is true for foster care adoptions in almost every state.

It is possible to adopt a newborn from foster care. It just might take longer for the right placement because there are fewer newborns in the system and more families who want them.
But it is possible. Maybe that's an option for you.

I'm Anna btw. Mamma to 4 girls, Meagan, Abbey, Kayla and Ellie.

Good luck! And I hope you'll stick around. I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

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May 15th, 2012, 09:34 PM
catielove's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 613
Thanks Anna.

We have considered fostering before, but right now I think it takes a brand of strength I don't currently possess. My nephew was adopted through something similar to foster care (my sister was his legal guardian while his birth mom was in jail, she had every intention of getting him back) and it was extremely difficult to know that it only took one judge to take him away. I don't think I could do that, personally.

A couple of the agencies I came across will only work with couples older than 25, which is why I'm looking into private adoption. (I didn't know it had a specific name when I made the original post. haha)

Thanks again.
Wyatt Russell, expected August 1!
Protect your son. Research circumcision.
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