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Loosing hope

Forum: Adoption


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  • 1 Post By esparando para bebé
  • 1 Post By ResaRee

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January 30th, 2013, 08:28 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4
Hi ladies!
I'm new to all this so please be patient while I learn the ropes
My story starts with getting pregnant at the age of 17. My boyfriend at the time had only been together for a few short months. We were in love but scared at the same time. We got married and the rest is history lol. We knew that things would be hard but we could do it . This may will be our 12 th anniversary! We have three beautifull children and are finally financially stable lol.
After our second child I was diagnosed with fibroids and was givin only a few options. I started birth control as hormone therapy but was told if we wanted another child we needed to do so because the fibroids were the size of three softballs and a hysterectomy was the next step. I was 23 and my husband 25. We were also in the process of remodeling our old farm house and our bank account was drained. Long story short I delivered our third child in July of 07 six weeks later I had partial hyst. Done because the fibroids were still large and caused lots of pain. A decision at the time we were ok with because we were still broke and still had an unfinished house.
Now I am 28 and he is 30. We dream about having more children everyday and regret our decision daily
We've been trying to adopt for the last year and a half, but no luck. My daughter always asks why she can't have a sister and it just makes me cry. I can't go to baby showers because I just cry. just last night my husband and I cried ourselves to sleep because we've decided to not continue with the process because we just don't have 30,000$ in a bank account. We don't want to go threw the state because we have other children that we worry about, I couldnt handle getting the child placed with us and then having to give him/her back, and what that might do to everyone. So for now the adoption process is on hold and it's very hard to handle. To make matters worse we just found out my cousin whom I don't have contact with is pregnant with her 5 th child, she is a drug addict and has spent years in and out of prison. yet another child she won't take care of , the father is taking the baby and his mom will be raising it along with his 8 other kids ! I'm so very upset with this and very angry with the way things are!
What an emotional roller coaster. We feel so incomplete but have left everything up to God. I don't want to put anything on hold , but know we must have Faith that everything will work out, I need advice that this adoption process isn't over because of a little snag. Is it common to have all these emotions ? I love my babies so much and know I'm blessed to have them, but I can't help but dream of a smooth adoption lol I know that doesn't exist but I can't help but to think there is a baby out there for us.
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January 31st, 2013, 05:03 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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Have you thought about adopting from foster care?
ResaRee likes this.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my siggy!
Proud former foster parent to a teen. Waiting on our next call. Proud Aunt to 22.
Proud mommy to 7 angels. Survivor of 4 failed adoptions (5 kids)
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February 4th, 2013, 08:38 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 9
i know how you feel. im 29 years old and dont have kids, my cousin asked me last sept. to adopt her baby thats due in may. we are looking into legal guardianship because i cant afford the 22,000 to adopt ( the degree of separation is to far). it makes me so sad that drug addicts and crap moms can have tons of kids and good people cant and the only option is to adopt which costs so much money. its sickening. good luck to you. have faith

Srae likes this.
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February 15th, 2013, 11:58 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 404
I think it's normal. I have 4 kids and hubby and I feel like we have a little girl out there that we are supposed to adopt. My kids are even desperate to have her with us. We are currently trying to raise money (hubby makes cheesecakes, pizzas and pies to sell) and we haven't had much support. It's so frustrating because people think just because we were able to have 4 kids of our own we shouldn't adopt. If it's meant to be , it will happen.
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February 17th, 2013, 01:58 PM
~*Kudzu*~'s Avatar ~praying for a miracle~
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: North Pole, AK
Posts: 1,177
ResaRee... Not to hijack a thread, but why is it so expensive?? I'm involved currently in a private domestic adoption and it's not that costly. Is it your state laws? It shouldn't be that much.
Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!!

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February 20th, 2013, 09:54 AM
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4
Yea I agree private adoption shouldn't be that much because if its a relative you shouldn't have to have a home study done, at least that's how our state law reads... You might want to get a different lawyer I wish you all the best of prayers for your journeys!!

Last edited by Srae; February 20th, 2013 at 11:49 AM.
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