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thinking about adoption

Forum: Adoption


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April 14th, 2017, 07:45 PM
Mrs.Black2006's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 999
I've been TTC for almost eight years. I'm to the point that I might adopt. I'm turning 35 this year. Where do I start? I'm only starting out and just thinking about it. I don't know where to go from here. I would like to speak with a lawyer. My DH's work offers their workers and families legal advice and services free of charge. Is this the right route? I would love to adopt privately and directly after birth. Like be with the BM up to the birth.
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TTC 7+ years
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August 8th, 2017, 11:09 AM
MindyRambo's Avatar Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 837
I think you should really start reading everything you can get your hands on, not the least of which should be about ethical adoption.

You don't get to decide to stay with the first mother if that's not her choice. You also don't get to decide the directly after birth part. Different states have laws about how long the mother has to sign. This is a good thing.

Start to research what adoptees go through and prepare yourself as much as possible.

Also note that in the adoption community, BM is considered derogatory as it's the abbreviation for bowel movement. First mom or bio mom are generally considered more respectful.

You indicate a private adoption, I assume you mean independently and not through an agency? Independent adoption isn't for the faint of heart, and there are many laws about this since it can be done so unethically. It's even illegal in some states.

Agency vs. Independent Adoption

You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you, but if you walk the footsteps of stranger, you'll learn things you knew... you never knew.
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