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Forum: Twentysomething Mommies

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  #1  
November 6th, 2006, 05:11 PM
boredchem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My DF, Brady, has three other children from a previous marriage - whom he hasn't been allowed to have a relationship with until 3 weeks ago today.

We've had the kids since Friday and they are going home tonight and I'm finding myself completely moody and ready to just ship them out the door RIGHT NOW! They are good kids, but there's 3 of them!! I don't know how people with step children do it. The kids are confused about titles - like calling Brady by his first name and then calling me MOM. I don't know how to handle that or even to begin to explain why I would prefer they call me Trish.

As if my weekend couldn't get any longer, Brady has taken it upon himself to invite his ex and her husband plus the two half brothers over for dinner. Our condo isn't huge and as time draws near, I'm finding myself getting more and more claustrophobic. I could kill him right now. I just don't feel like it's fair to put me through this ordeal while I'm tired and pregnant.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. If anybody has any good tips or advice about step-parenting - please feel free to post it below!!
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  #2  
November 6th, 2006, 05:35 PM
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Sorry I don't have any tips or advice for you, but I wanted to offer for having to put up with the dinner thing. Poor you.
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  #3  
November 6th, 2006, 05:43 PM
dkmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OMG trish what was he thinking inviting them over? i totally would have ordered pizza and called it good!
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  #4  
November 7th, 2006, 07:25 AM
*Stacey*'s Avatar life=laundry
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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sweetie..........I really don't know what to tell you about the whole step parent thing. Kevin has been in Emma's life since she was just over a year old, I don't have any experience with your situation.

I would just talk with Brady about how your feeling......it is quite overwhelming to all of a sudden be responsible for three more kids, right when you're about to have the baby......let him know your thoughts on the dinner he planned, and that maybe it could be put off till after you have the baby, or to maybe re-locate to a restaurant instead.

As for the "titles" that's really up to you and Brady.....you can let the children know what they can call you.
*Emma knows that it's up to her what she wants to call Kevin.....most of the time it's by his first name, and sometimes she calls him Daddy.....the issue is more with her father, HE doesn't want Emma calling Kevin dad.*

I'm sorry if this isn't much help
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  #5  
November 7th, 2006, 09:55 AM
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I agree - why not ask if you can meet at a restaurant instead? Then at least you won't have to deal with the extra cleaning
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  #7  
November 13th, 2006, 04:20 PM
boredchem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for all the support and the advice.

here's an update:

The night was crazy, but I managed to keep my cool and Brady drew me a nice bath and rubbed my feet for the effort.

I did end up telling him how I feel - I don't think that there are too many women out there that would put up with the baggage that he has and I made that clear. He understood and told me that he already realized it before I ever said it. The man can amaze me at times - he was so good about letting me blow-off steam, rant and finally rationally tell him what's bothering me. It makes our relationship very worth it.

As far as the kids are concerned, I sat down with them and explained how I would rather be considered a friend (adult friend with some rules), but not as their mother. They got it (there's just a bit of confusion here and there with the young ones, but we'll work on that) and they seem to like the idea of me just being a friend. They get enough parenting out of Mom, Dad and Step-dad.

Thanks again - you Ladies are the best!
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