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Hubby won't touch me anymore!


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  #1  
December 6th, 2006, 07:50 AM
short_n_swt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Somewhere in Ontario
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I don't know what it is, we used to have such a good relationship. But lately he will barely even look at me, never mind touch me! He'll walk by when Im cooking dinner and kiss my head, but we don't ever have sex, or cuddle. I don't know if it's because I'm getting big and he is turned off, but he won't even do anything special for me, or even help out around the house anymore. I've asked him what's wrong, and he says nothing, he still loves me, but I don't believe it. I have no clue what to do! I have so much stress from my family and stuff, the only person I can count on is him, and lately he has let me down more then anything! I never knew how much this hurts, and only wonder how much more it will go on-
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  #2  
December 6th, 2006, 07:58 AM
*Stacey*'s Avatar life=laundry
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......sorry he's being a butthead.

DH wouldn't touch me after I started to really show (and when he found out we were having a girl) because it weirded him out. He was always too afraid to hurt me, and that he didn't look at me in a sexual way...more of a motherly figure.

You should just try talking to him about it, tell him how your feeling, and that you need a little more help around the house.

I hope everything works out.
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  #3  
December 6th, 2006, 08:44 AM
short_n_swt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've tried talking to him, tried everything. We also found out that we were having a girl, and I could tell he was disappointed. He doesn't acknowledge Im even pregnant, never talks about the baby or anything either. We have had enough problems before and with all this stress, Im again ready to call it quits, I don't know if the tears and pain are worth it anymore, but thanks for your help
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  #4  
December 6th, 2006, 08:54 AM
~*Dolphin~Dreamer*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sweetie, I'm sorry you're going through this while you're preggo. My DH wouldn't touch me or anything after I started showing. He didn't really help around the house that much any more either.

When we found out we were preggo, he wasn't happy. Ok, let's be honest, he was beyond PI$$Y. My first doctor's appointment was horrible. I cried all the way home, b/c he yelled and screamed at me for something silly. Not, to mention when I told him I was preggo, he simply told me, "Well, you got what you wanted, what do I get?" So, that was the beginning.

After a while he got used to the fact that I was preggo. What it was, we wanted to wait til he was out of Ford before we had kids. Well, the Big Man, didn't see it that way. I was on birth control, and didn't miss a day.

He wouldn't touch me, make love to me, nothin. He'd kiss me and hug me and that was it. It was like he was so distant and that the baby was coming between us. All that changed after we had Phoenix. Things got back on track, and things were good again.

I know it's hard right now. And you have to do what you have to do. Just make sure that you're 100% sure about your decision.

I dont' know if that helped you out or anything. But, You have a great support system here, with all these girlies!!!

Hope things get better for you!
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  #5  
December 6th, 2006, 08:55 AM
mommyofdani's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Is this his first child? It can be a really scary thing, having a baby. And now that you are showing, it is really hitting home that, "hey, a baby is coming, and I have no choice but to be a responsible person from now on in. no more goofing up." Well...that is how dh explained it to me whenever he acted like a jerkface during my pregnancy.

Adam also told me that having a girl is scary versus a boy from a man's point of view. Your dh is not just thinking about midnight diaper changes and learning how to put on tights on his child for the first time, but he is probably also thinking about the first time a boy comes over. The first time she gets her period. The first time he is helping with laundry, finds a thong, and then hears you tell him it is his daughter's *Bill Engvall. Gotta love him* But it is scary for a guy.

Anyways...just keep tellnig him how you feel. Don't give up. Do you love your husband? If the answer is yes, and I'm sure it is...give your marriage and husband another chance and some more time. You need him right now, and I'm sure he will come around.
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  #6  
December 6th, 2006, 11:41 AM
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My hubby barely touches me either.. and I'm not even pregnant!

Does he work lots? My hubby works the evening shift at a resturant.. and doesn't get home until 2 am sometimes.... by then i'm either in bed or he's just too tired to even think about..... it.

When i was pregnant with my first I was soo.. sex crazed! I had to have it all the time and my bf at the time would cry everytime I looked at him lol

but with Ella... I just couldn't get into it.... My hubby wanted it.. but i didn't... so when i actually wanted it.. it was a huge surprise.... and I also ended up in the hospital with pre mature labour because of it as well!

OK.. if you haven't figured this out by now.. WEAR A CONDOM if you are are gunna go at it.. cause sex can make you go into labour!

Anyways... some guys just aren't into pregnant women.. others are....

If you want sex from your man.. then walk over to him.. look him straight in the eyes and say "Hunny.. I wanna do it... RIGHT NOW!"

Some men need blatent frankness to understand things.

I hope things get better for you!
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  #7  
December 6th, 2006, 12:59 PM
Marissa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry!

I agree with the other girls, hes probaly scared about the whole baby and now that your showing he knows that its all real. I'm sure he does love you and is probaly scared that he will hurt you and/or the baby if you have sex.

I'm not pregnant and my SO has voiced his fears over having a daugther, he has a son already and when he was born SO took to it really well, why? because he knows all the changes in a boys body whereas a females body is completely different, hes told me that he will be freaked out when its time to bath her because he doesn't want to wash her down there when needed because again it will weird him out.

Maybe sit your husband down, and start showing him babyb girl things, get him into the whole baby thing and prepare him whats to come. It's hard for a male to know whats going on when it happens to us females and not them, they can just watch from the sidelines in retrospect.

Continue to tell your husband how you feel, and let him know what is going on with you.
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  #8  
December 6th, 2006, 03:14 PM
MommyToSnuggles's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
The first time he is helping with laundry, finds a thong, and then hears you tell him it is his daughter's *Bill Engvall. Gotta love him*[/b]
Yep, ya do


Quote:
OK.. if you haven't figured this out by now.. WEAR A CONDOM if you are are gunna go at it.. cause sex can make you go into labour![/b]
Yes, sex CAN make you go into labor, but only if the situation is ripe to begin with. I DTD four times a day for a week, simply to get myself into labor, and it did NOTHING. I ended up going almost two weeks past my due date, and even then it needed to be edged along with pitocin. So keep that in the back of your head, but don't freak out about it too much The sperm only softens the cervix anyways, it's the O's that cause the contractions, and condoms don't stop that!!


Other than that, I would have to agree with everyone else. He very well might just be afraid and/or freaked about having a girl. I know my DH was. He wouldn't touch me for over a month when we found out.
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  #10  
December 6th, 2006, 08:51 PM
dkmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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all the girls covered everything i was gonna say - so i'm just gonna give you some
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  #11  
December 6th, 2006, 10:03 PM
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Well hunny the only thing I can think of is he probably doesn't want to hurt the baby. Do you have that book what to expect when your expecting? In the back there is a section about intimacy. It tells the father to be that you can't hurt the baby during sex, maybe you should let him read that and see if that helps. I'm sure he still loves you no matter what just tell him how you're feeling. Definitely don't stress it's no good for you or baby.
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