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never seen my husband like this before

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February 22nd, 2008, 05:32 AM
TeresaMomTo2Boys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Lewisville Texas
Posts: 3,765
I have never in the 4 years I have known Andy, seen him like he was this morning. He is usually gone for work about 5:30am. If not, walking out the door to go to work. It was about 5:36am when he gave me a kiss and said he was leaving. Not even 3 minutes later, he walks in the room, sits on the edge of the bed and puts his head in his hands and is wiping his eyes. I ask "babe, what is wrong?" He doesn't answer. Maybe he just didn't hear me. "Babe what is wrong?" I ask a second time. Still no answer. "Babe? Are you okay?" And then I finally get an answer....an answer I am stunned by and an answer I am not sure how to answer. "No, I killed all our fish. They are all dead." I have never seen him this way. The thought of how pale he looked and the thought of how sad he was makes me want to cry. He didnt act this way when his dog passed of heartworms back in July 2004. He actually got out there and got a puppy from a friend of mine she couldn't take care of anymore. He never seemed to grieve over her loss. And then my dog passed of old age a couple weeks later and he didnt seem to grieve for her either. I walk out of the room with him as he sits on the futon in our dining room and looks at our brand new 10 gallon fish tank on our bar. We got a new one because our 25 gallon tank had a leak in it and was leaking all over the floor so he had to empty it to find the crack/leak. Well apparently he was supposed to take 1/3 of that water and put it in the new tank but like all new fish owners, you dont always have old fish tank water so he put water in a few days ago along with some tank conditioner and he put the heater in to get the water just right (room temp) and he regulated it which is what you are supposed to do when you have a new tank. That is what we did to the 25 gallon when we first got it. There is NOTHING else anyone or anything could've done. We have one surviving fish and he is one of the bigger sized babies (out of the two babies we have). Andy put him in a cup to see how long he will last and I will have to keep an eye on him all day. The others....they must've passed in the middle of the night as they weren't floating....they sunk to the bottom.
All I could say to Andy was, "I am sorry babe. They aren't like they are Crichton (Cry-ton) or Moya (our dogs). We can always go buy some more." "I know," he replied, "but we have had those for over a year and watched them grow and now they are gone." He literally about called into work for this. He is so depressed. I asked if he was coming home for lunch and he looked at the tank and said "no, not today. I can't today."
Ladies, I am telling you, I have NEVER seen my husband act this way toward ANYTHING or ANYONE...not his dog, not my dog, not any other fish we have lost (and we have lost a lot) and not his grandmother when she passed.
I am not sure what to say or do in an event like this but to keep telling him it will be okay and that we can buy more and hug him.
I am just confused. I dont know what to do.
On his way out the door for work, he said "make sure you get rid of those before Cris gets up for school" So I spent a few minutes fishing out the fish (no pun intended) and putting them in the brand new trash bag that lined our trash can. So after I did that, I put the trash bag in the garage with the other trash that goes on the curb today. Then I took a big towel and covered up the tank so he wouldn't think anything of it. I will have Andy tell him when he gets home or whenever the time he feels is right to tell him. He will notice eventually.
Just keep your fingers crossed and pray that the little baby lasts and that Andy won't lose all hope on this one.

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February 23rd, 2008, 07:33 AM
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I'm really sorry to hear that your husband is taking the loss of your fish so hard.
I hope he is feeling better at this point.
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February 23rd, 2008, 09:55 AM
TeresaMomTo2Boys's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Lewisville Texas
Posts: 3,765
nope not really because our surviving fish passed away around 6pm yesterday and he is devastated even more because he was hoping to get off work in time to send him to a neighbor's home with a tank

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February 23rd, 2008, 10:39 AM
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Oh I'm so sorry...
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