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Lost the desire to breastfeed

Forum: Formula Feeding


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June 17th, 2018, 08:18 PM
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2
I have 3 week old twin boys, and also a 3 year old son. With my first son, I breastfed him until he was 2 and a half. I probably would have went even longer but I got pregnant and it just became too uncomfortable for me. He never had any formula, only breastmilk. I struggled with breastfeeding in the beginning. With him, I needed a c section. Trying to heal from a major surgery while also dealing with the pain that comes with breastfeeding was a lot to take on. Not to mention, no one could help me with the feedings. I remember crying to my husband telling him I couldnít do it but he kept encouraging me to push through it. I think I had some postpartum depression and I believe the pressure to exclusively breastfeed contributed to that. It was like I thought you had to do either 100% formula or 100% breastfeeding, there was no in between. Eventually it got easier, so I continued to nurse him.

This time around, thankfully, I was able to avoid a c section and have my twins vaginally. But, itís still been really overwhelming and difficult. Caring for two newborns is so much different than taking care of just one. Despite the difficulties I had with my first son, I decided to at least attempt breastfeeding the twins. When I tried to latch them on in the hospital, it was really painful because I couldnít get them to open their mouths wide enough. The first night home, I broke down and started crying. I would try to nurse one of them and then the other would start crying and want to be fed. It was like a never ending cycle and it felt like I was going to have them attached to me 24/7. We had some free formula samples, so my husband and I both agreed to give them some formula that night. He hugged me and told me not to be hard on myself for giving them formula. For the following couple of weeks, we continued to give formula and I would nurse them some too. I would also pump and give them bottles of breastmilk sometimes.

About a week ago, I stopped nursing and stopped pumping, so theyíre now on just formula. When I told my husband that I hadnít pumped or anything in a week, he expressed that he doesnít have an issue with giving them formula but he thinks I should still at least pump even if itís only once a day. He says even if theyíre only getting an ounce of breastmilk a day, itís better than nothing. He worries that the formula doesnít have everything in it that they need. Since I hadnít pumped in a week, I figured I wouldnít produce anything but I decided to try. So yesterday, I sat down to pump and nothing came out, as I expected. My nipples started hurting so I finally just turned it off. I see where my husband is coming from but I honestly just donít have the desire to breastfeed this time around. Iím glad that I was able to give my first baby breastmilk but breastfeeding was a pain in the butt at times. Worrying that my kid was going to flash my boobs to everyone when out in public, having him attached to me all the time, and my family not being able to help with feeding him unless I pumped, which is also a pain in the butt. I have to keep my sanity and I just donít feel like I should have to breastfeed or pump if I donít want to. If itís going to make me feel resentful, I donít think itís worth it. Do you agree? Just looking for some advice.
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June 21st, 2018, 03:43 PM
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posts: 377
I agree with you tahat you shouldnít be resentful of feeding, itís not healthy. I also agree with your husband that they donít get everything they need from the formula.
I think you two should have a good heart to heart about the situation and be completely honest with each other.
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