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Forum: Waiting to Try to Conceive


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March 9th, 2005, 05:49 PM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 5
Hi I am a 33 years old me and DH have only been married about 6 MO but we dated for a year before we got married. I ask him this week about us having a baby and he told me that he wants to wait till we have money put back before we even think about having a baby. But that he does really want one ........one day .... Well here is my problem I do not want to wait as most of you know if you wait till you have the money then you will never have one. We make enough money to have one I have enough money put back that we can afford one and I have GREAT insurance. Now another problem I also have a problem with my bladder I have a disease that has not cure but a lot of women that have a baby it puts them in remission. I have to have bladder surgery sometimes. I am in a medical condition right now that I am not taking meds for once and now would be the time for me to have a baby. I do have a 9 year old by a PR but he does not have any kids. Can anyone help me as what to do? Should I bite my tongue and take a chance on never being able to have one or should I talk to him. Please help me.
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March 10th, 2005, 08:20 AM
mamaB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,528
I'd do some homework, if I were you. If you already have a 9 year old, you prob have a good idea of how much it costs with a little one. Figure out what that would be today, really work out the numbers. Then talk to your DH and show him what you've found. I'm sure at the very least he'll be happy you took the initiative to figure out what it will cost you guys. Maybe he will change his mind and you can start your new family sooner. But if not, keep in mind that you're only 33, you have a couple more good years where conceiving shouldn't be that hard. I know lots of women who are mid to late 30's who are starting families.
Best of luck to you!
Carpe Diem
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March 10th, 2005, 03:49 PM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 5
Thank you in I have sat down with the bills and I know that we can make it but I am not going to pressure him into anything he does not want. I always told myself when my DD was 10 I would not try to have anymore I don't want any bigger of a gap then what there would be already. I thought if we could start to try by Dec of this year and give it a year... but he has said that he wants to wait about 3 years ... that puts me 36 before we even started to try. I guess I am just going to have to give up on my dream.
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March 24th, 2005, 10:53 AM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 40
Well I wouldn't give up. Sometimes men don't understand 'woman' things. A man can make a child until the day he days....well we can't. That was a great suggestion about the showing him how much a child costs and that it is affordable to you. Also, bring him along to your doc appointments. Gettting your OB/GYN and possibly your GI doc to talk to him about the benefits of not wanting to TTC might change him mind

Good luck!
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March 27th, 2005, 06:43 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 909
I would definitely book a meeting with your doctor, yourself and your hubby. Go over your health history and your pros and cons. Personally I think your health is most important here. I hope that you can work something out.
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March 27th, 2005, 06:47 PM
Alice's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,057
I think that if it bothers you enough to talk to us about, it's important enough to talk with your husband about. I like the idea of a conference with your husband, yourself and you OB-GYN.

The age thing wasn't a big deal for us; my girls were born when I was 41 and 44!
MOM TO BRIAN (6-18-98)
JULIA (2-17-00)
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