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Forum: Waiting to Try to Conceive


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September 29th, 2011, 09:12 AM
(not so patiently) WTTC
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Southern CA
Posts: 2,203
Sister Wives is back and full of the drama.

What do you think of poligamy? Could you ever be in a poligamus relationship? Should they be free to choose this lifestyle without reprocussions from the law?
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September 29th, 2011, 09:41 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,617
I haven't caught it this season but I watched the first two. I can't wrap my mind around it but I couldn't look away.

I do not think we are wired for polygamous relationships. I think that the feelings the women have struggled with in the past are there for a reason. I do not agree with that life style choice.

That being said, I don't think the law has a place in peoples' relationships and I think that despite my personal objections, there is a lot of love in that house hold and those children are well taken care of. No one is being hurt or abused in that situation and therefore I think the government should stay out of it. There are conventional families where a lot more harm is coming to spouses and/or children than in this family.

Legal interventions where they aren't warranted forces those kinds of communities underground and *that* is when the abuse train can start rolling and get out of control. There have been A LOT of FLDS and other polygamous communities that are/have been underground for decades and they are rampant with child abuse and sexual abuse. If someone wants to do something bad enough, the law is not going to stop them.

Legally, the family on Sister Wives isn't doing anything wrong. He is only legally married to his first wife. The other women have undergone a marriage ceremony with him but on paper he only has one wife and so bigamy laws don't apply.

*Excitedly expecting baby girl number two!*

Thank you to Babydoll213 for my fabulous siggie!
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September 29th, 2011, 10:04 AM
SammyJ's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: UTAH
Posts: 3,737
Being that I live in Utah, I see this kind of family/relationship alllllll of the time. In fact, I live about 20 minutes away from Colorado City, which is one of the biggest polygamous communities in the country. That being said, I am not a proponent of polygamy when children are being incredibly brainwashed and abused, which is often the case for many of these hardcore FLDS folks that live around here.

However, I also have a great friend from college that is in a polygamous relationship. Like the women on Sister Wives, you would never be able to tell that is her background based on if you just looked at her. I am also Facebook friends with her and she regularly posts updates about her son and her life. She seems happy, well adjusted and I suppose if the situation is not harming anyone, then I don't see a problem. That is how I feel about the family on SW too. They seem happy, their kids seem happy with no issues.

The reason they were legally persecuted here in Utah (even though he is only legally married to one woman) is because of the cohabitation laws here. If you live together for more than seven years, you are then entered into a common law marriage. (which technically made him legally married to more than one woman, which is illegal) I guess those laws are more lenient in Nevada. I honestly think if they aren't hurting anyone and giving their children freedom to choose about their own lives, then I don't see a problem. However, here in my city I see women all the time being forced into the situation. I know women that have "escaped" and have to risk leaving their children behind, which is just so sad to me. I honestly think those people should be persecuted, but they never are. Like I said, I see them almost every day. It's just sad when they are taken to such a controlling and potentially abusive situation.
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September 29th, 2011, 10:17 AM
Shea131's Avatar Peyton Rylee's Mommy!!
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Location: Illinois
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I agree with Sammy that there are different ways to lives as polygamists. If it's by choice and everyone in the family is happy (like in SW) then I see nothing wrong with it. However, if women and children are forced in to it then that is wrong.

I don't necessarily think that polygamy is "right" and I for sure could never live like that (too much jealousy). But I'm also of the mindset to each their own and if no one is being harmed then go for it!

I LOVE the show and can't stop watching it! DF thinks I'm crazy! Can you imagine being excited for another woman that is having YOUR husbands baby! eek! So weird to me!

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September 29th, 2011, 12:19 PM
artisticmind's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 2,437
Ditto to what's been said above. Definitely not my cup of tea, i don't share well, especially if it involved my husband. Warren Jeffs IMHO got what he deserved with his life sentence.

Baby Girl expected 2.12.13!

Annie :wife to JJ and mommy to Riley
missing our Feb. 2012
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September 29th, 2011, 12:52 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I see no problem with the way this particular family wants to live. The adult women choose to marry Cody, and create a family with him. Nowhere along the line have we seen them forced into it. I saw a behind the scenes interview during season one too where they agree their life is a choice, and will not push it (as in arrange) on their children, it will be their choice.

I disagree with the very publicised FLDS lifestyles from the compounds, because children are forced into marriage with older men. I read a heart breaking book a few years back by a girl who got out, and who was instrument in getting Jeff's arrested and charged.

I could not be in a polygamous relationship. I am way too jealous for that, I would claw the sister wives eyes out every time one of them had a night with the husband. LOL.

So here's my short opinionated belief. I say do away with all the stupid marriage laws out there. let anyone who is of LEGAL age marry whom ever they want. I could see putting a cap on how many people you can marry (let's say 5 adults bound total), but I hate the definition of marriage as it is today. Marriage = love... has nothing to do with how many, or your gender.

Oh, I do think that all parties involved in polygamy should have to give approval for another person to join the family. The head of house (which is usually a man) should have no right to just collect wives and give no concern to his current wives, if they say no, he shouldn't be allowed to just go marry another.
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September 29th, 2011, 01:00 PM
theagent49's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 139
I watched an episode (or so) of this show and ugh, the guy irritates me. I couldn't be in a polygamous relationship and I don't understand why anyone would want to be but hey, to each their own I guess.
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September 29th, 2011, 01:43 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Southwest USA
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I could never do it. I don't understand why a guy would feel the need to have multiple wives... In the old days, I understand it- women would die from childbirth or they might never have a son, which was/is a big thing. Now, with medicine what it is, polygamy doesn't really have a need.

Plus, I'm jealous... lol

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September 29th, 2011, 03:50 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 657
Wow. I love the show! I think that their lives are fascinating and I commend them for being able to share a man. I know I couldn't. I could never be a poligamyst. That said, I am torn as to whether or not they should be free to choose it. According to my beliefs, it is one man and one woman, period. Although, I don't believe they should be put in jail for their desicions because we should all have religious freedom.
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September 29th, 2011, 09:41 PM
KaylynnandAddisonsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Fayetteville NC
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I could never do it...I could NEVER imagine another woman with my husband! BUT I dont think they should get in trouble for it...Everyone has different ways in living at that I guess is one of them...If those women can do it with no problem hey more power to them! Ya know?

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September 29th, 2011, 10:30 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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eh it doesnt bother me as long as no one is hurting anyone. live and let live!

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September 30th, 2011, 09:03 AM
(not so patiently) WTTC
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Southern CA
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I agree with Ashley And Chelsea, live and let live (to EVERYONE!)
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September 30th, 2011, 11:56 AM
Aillidh's Avatar Nár lagaí Dia do lámh!
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Somewhere in NY
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Originally Posted by ChicaChels View Post
eh it doesnt bother me as long as no one is hurting anyone. live and let live!

That being said, the guy on this show irritates me, he has this arrogant, prickish kind of attitude so I can't watch it.

I don't care about people practicing polygamy, I think it should be legal in fact but with that legalization maybe we can expose some of the abuses of underage marriages and forced polygamy with underage girls and such. Don't know how it would work out but that's what I think.

As for myself, polygamy is a big heckkkkk no. Way too jealous.
Finnegan [11.29.15] & Sullivan [08.03.17]
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