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How attached are you?

Forum: Attachment Parenting


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February 7th, 2006, 11:42 PM
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 98
Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted but I've been soo busy w/my dd. Ok, I have a 8 month old girl and I am tooootttallly attached! I am beginning to think I'm too attached. She still is in my arms 85% of the day and when she's not, whenever she starts fussing I pick her up. I'm beginning to think she is getting more discouraged to learn how to crawl or even just to have floor-playtime. I think my husband is starting to think she's learning how to manipulate us. Could I be too attached? I really don't let her go unhappy or frustrated for too long. She never cries with me. She whines but doesn't cry. I don't let her. At what age should we start teaching more independence? How attached are you? How have you taught independence?


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February 8th, 2006, 05:04 AM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 2,079
Hey there!
Now, some people will probably disagree, but I think my dd has learned how to manipulate us (a little bit anyway) for sure! She will do these pouty (and obviously fake lol) cries or coughs when we don't pay attention to her enough. lol

Now as far as her being independent, she very much wants to be held a good portion of the day, but she also does want to be on the floor playing by herself! We started by giving her lots of tummy time when she was smaller, and when she would begin to fuss after a few months, I would get on the floor and play with her toys and interact with her more to redirect her attention and get her to play longer.
Now that she is older, if she begins fussing when I'm not holding her, I will just switch gears and do something silly or get out a different type of toy or even turn on her baby Einstein videos. Now I don't jsut dump her in front of the video when she's fussy and leave, but I'll sit there with her and gradually move away (like to the couch or our recliner) so that she can play independently.

Your dd sounds like she loves the comfort that you give by holding her! I doubt that she's "Too" attached (if there is such a thing) and it's definitely good to tend to her needs rather than letting her get so frustrated that she cries a lot!

I guess my advice would be to play in the floor with your dd and when she starts heading for your lap, maybe try to redirect her attention back to the floor to see if she'll play with her toys without being on your lap and gradually inch away? (not a lot mind you but enough to where she's playing quitely by herself - when kids are self entertaining, it gives us mommies a tiny break to just relax a bit! lol)

I think you're doing a great job! It's good to see you on the boards again!
Mom to Grace, Michael, Heath, and Charlie
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February 8th, 2006, 12:31 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 23,763
My baby is 8 months, and she likes to be held a lot, but she likes her playtime on the floor to. You should try getting on the floor and playing with her.

I never had to teach my kids independence....they naturally became that way, and I believe that is because they felt secure. Some babies take longer than others. Just keep up what you're doing. She will eventually become more independent.

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February 9th, 2006, 04:04 PM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 3,422
I am not sure what too attached means??? My boys now 8 and 5 are still pretty attached, but also very independent. I wore both boys until 3 or 31/2. They both slept with me until 5. Some nights I still wake up to their gorgeous little faces, which I love. They will grow up soooo fast, I am going to enjoy every minute. Blessings B Oh yeah I also nursed each well over 2 yrs.
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