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Forum: Attachment Parenting


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April 16th, 2009, 08:09 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
But do you know who you would want to raise your child(ren) if anything happened to you & Dh?

Have you talked about it?

Do you have anything in writing?

I believe we are pretty settled on who. We do have a plan - we just don't have a thing in writing though - which is BAD, BAD, BAD. I also know that there could potentially be a fight over Jonah & the idea of that makes me ill, as I wouldn't want my lack of planning to strain relationships - particularly when I want ALL of those who love Jonah to remain a part of his life & custody issues have a way of ruining that. Money has been a little tight for us, so we plan to get legal papers drawn up with our tax return money (we filed late for several reasons) so I think that won't be until June or so....I don't know maybe we will get our return quicker, but I am not thinking so. But when we do we are going to set up an appointment to get this stuff in order. I am not sure why it has been on my mind lately to get it done, but I know I will feel better once it is.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
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April 16th, 2009, 08:21 PM
Posts: n/a
Yes we know who would take our kids. We don't have it in writing yet though.
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April 16th, 2009, 08:57 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 19,074
We had decided and now it's a little up in the air. We originally picked my sister/BIL but now Dae wants one of his sisters and her husband because they don't plan on having kids so if something did happen he thinks Lily would have more attention with them. But my thought is if they didn't plan on having kids then why would they want to raise ours? So we're figuring it out a bit. As of now Lily goes to my sister and her husband and both sides of the family are aware of that.

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April 16th, 2009, 09:08 PM
blondie-lox's Avatar Do NOT feed the Troll
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ON, Canada
Posts: 16,621
We have talked about this a lot actually. Especially if just I die. My first is from a previous relationship and I really don't want her going to her dad and then my children to be separated. So my DH would take on custody of my daughter and then her birth father would still maintain his visitation as if I was still around. As for if both of us die, my son will go to my mom (who is very AP now that she has been educated by me) and my daughter would go to her father. Again not an ideal situation but my daughter's father has agreed that my mom would get visitation with her so that my children could still be together somewhat.

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April 16th, 2009, 10:54 PM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Stavanger, NORWAY.
Posts: 6,428
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Hard one..
I think I'd have to say my dad is the only one

Cory isn't in her life so no idea if i would let him take her, i don't like the thought ....
Anniken - 20 years - Mama to 4 year old -student - Norway

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April 17th, 2009, 02:22 AM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 39,274
Even though I don't agree with everything they do, I'd probably want my parents to raise my daughter (and any other future children) It is not in writing yet.

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April 17th, 2009, 05:37 AM
Mountain~Mama's Avatar ThePastHasNoPowerOverMe
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Maine
Posts: 24,476
It would be my sister and her husband. But we don't have anything in writting yet.
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April 17th, 2009, 06:20 AM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: belfast, northern ireland
Posts: 1,563
I've thought alot on this one as we are both older and I do have some health issues.
But in our case its absolutely horrible, I really dont know who would take them.
My Mom would, but it would mean them being sent to another country, to a much lower standard of living, and she is of course a good bit older then we are. As things stand she would I cant see her being allowed to take them, she would have to move etc...
Many of DH's relatives would take them, no one would see them left out, but i cant think of any who would see it as a blessing not a burden. I think the best choice might be dh's brother although only because his wife is such a kind motherly person and her children are near grown now. Unfortunately DH doesnt see much of his brohters as they grew up seperatley and his first wife didnt like them much. I've really been wanting to find away to become more involved with them but dont know how.
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April 17th, 2009, 07:02 AM
Beaker's Avatar My boys are adorable
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 5,695
I don't know. We have friends that I trust, but I honestly just don't know. Everyone in my family is super religious and I do not want my son raised in their religion. My MIL has health problems. Maybe my SIL. She is very sweet. Hmmm. You have given me something to consider.

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April 17th, 2009, 07:09 AM
~Nik*Re~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4,954
Right now DH and I agree on my dad to take the kids if something were to happen to both of us. We don't have anything in writing that is notarized, but everyone knows our wishes and I expect they will be respected.
Thank you Jaidynsmum!

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April 17th, 2009, 07:40 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,757
We were just talking about it this morning and it has been on my mind since she was born. We are going to take a class on Estate planning on Sat to help us prepare the necessary stuff for it. We have someone in mind who we want to take Emma if anything happens to both of us. We want our good friend of ours to take her. He has two little girls and he said he would be delighted to have her in their family if anything happens. We don't trust any of our family members. That is to bad, too. Cuz I would rather have her go to family, but we can't trust their standard of living. We want her to someplace where we know she will be raised by the same standards we would raise her.
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