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How do you stay AP...

Forum: Attachment Parenting


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April 29th, 2009, 10:02 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 5,286
...with a teething/sick/cranky baby? I have a 13-month old son, and AP has come very naturally to me for the most part. We're still BFing and co-sleeping, never CIO, try to use gentle discipline, etc. But right now he has his 4th ear infection and he's cutting molars. How do I keep from turning into a witch? Neither of us are sleeping well, and he's so whiny and clingy. The crabbier he gets, the crankier I get, and then the guiltier I feel.


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April 29th, 2009, 11:54 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Oh hun - I am so sorry. 1st thing - since you are BFing - have you tried putting BM in his ear? I have done that with Ds & both ear infections he has had cleared up real quick. I PROMISE you it is totally safe & if you see no improvement, then no harm done either way!

Being AP doesn't make you a saint. None of us are patient 100% of the time or full of energy & at our top game. All AP means is that you try to respect the child at all times & meet their needs as much as you can....soooooo, with that said, there are times we don't even know what their needs are despite our best efforts.

I think right now, you should cut yourself some slack. Try what you can to ease his unhappiness. Have you tried running a hair dryer - I have seen children go from screaming to sleep in 2 mins with a hair dryer (for an ear ache) - do not point it down in their ear, Make sur eit isn't too hot, but you can run the air past their ear & for some reason it soothes it. You can also try a warm washcloth in a plastic baggie over the ear, the heat seem to soothe, although I think the heat & noise of a hair dryer seems to work better. With nursing, try positions where he is as upright as possible, laying may cause pressure with sucking.

Here is a good article on WHY he might keep getting ear infections. At the bottom it also talks about homeopathy & says Chamomilla is good for earaches accompanying teething.
Remedies for Earaches: Soothing Discomfort Naturally

Cut yourself some slack momma. Be as patient as you can be with not only baby, but yourself & just try & hang in there. This WILL pass!!!!! ((((hugs))))
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

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April 29th, 2009, 11:59 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,408
^^ I agree! I am very AP and I loose my mind quickly sometimes with my older children. Its not easy. Try to remember that he is not feeling well. That always helps me when I am feeling very cranky with a sick baby/child. At his age he really cant understand why he is feeling like he is and it is upsetting to him Sound to me like you could use a break. Even if it is just going to get a cup of coffee with friend or a nice bath.

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April 30th, 2009, 05:52 AM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: belfast, northern ireland
Posts: 1,563
Good advice, but if possible try to get some help with the house laundry etc... for a couple of days or let it pile up and get some much needed rest. Even if DH can take baby for a bit while you nap, everything seems a bit easier to take with a bit of sleep.
Hope you and your LO feel better soon, ear infections are meant to be quite painful, poor thing.
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April 30th, 2009, 06:51 AM
Posts: n/a
I am sorry you are going through this!!! Don't be so hard on yourself....you ain't perfect and you can't expect yourself to be and neither does you LO. Just do the best you can that is all they want.

Maybe you can get a break...from either DH, a friend, or even a neighbor that could sit with your LO while you take a break...maybe not even a nap but maybe just a bubble bath and some time to decompress.
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April 30th, 2009, 07:48 AM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
The ladies here already gave great advice...so I don't have much to add but

Matthew is almost 3 months and is sooooo crabby right now. Yesterday I had a day similar to what you described. I think when they are sick or crabby it helps to plan on getting nothing done that day but taking care of your baby.

Beckie.... thanks for that link I bookmarked it. I know one of these days I am going to need it too
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (23) Amanda (20) Matthew ( 6) and Daniel (4).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (24) and Krista (21)
step-grandma to: Wesley, Rosemarie, Scarlett

On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon.
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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April 30th, 2009, 07:51 PM
HS&Fsmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 2,611
Hugo seems to be going through the same phase. We are just gentle but firm with him, and also try to give each other (me and DH) separate time away from him to get a break. The easiest way to stay calm and gentle is just to imagine the alternative... I recoil at the very thought of snapping and yelling at him. That keeps me on an even keel.

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April 30th, 2009, 09:24 PM
Posts: n/a
I read kellymom.com :: Are you feeling overwhelmed by your child's intense needs? to help me in these times too. Sleep when he naps and give yourself permission to have a house that isn't perfect.

Good luck hon. Let us know when you get a chance how you guys are doing.
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May 1st, 2009, 12:46 PM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 12,914
(((HUGS))) It is so hard when your LO is sick andyou can't make then feel better. It is even harder when you are sleep deprived.

The other ladies have great advise. Try to just focus on your LO right now. The laundry will still be there tomorrow (dishes too on that note). You are just one person and can't do it all so do what is most important...which is love on your son.

I love the bubble bath suggestions...try taking one with your DS. He has been so grouchy lately maybe you just need some happy time with him. And bubble bathes are always fun.

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