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Is that CIO?

Forum: Attachment Parenting


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July 25th, 2009, 11:59 PM
ScottishBrit's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know there are sooooo many definitions in CIO but Im not sure if this Qualifies as It? Cambria is 13 ( almost 14 ) months now and we've always held her and rocked her to sleep with a bottle. I eventually want to break her of that but were not there yet. Before she would fall asleep with the bottle and I would be able to move her into the PnP without her waking up. Now she will drink her bottle while Im rocking her and stay awake. Ill hold her as long as possiable but she seems to wake up more. So I put her down. She cry's....It's not a upset kinda cry more like a Im soooo tired but I dont want to shut my eye's kinda cry. Usually she'll stop with in 15 mins sometimes It can last up to 40 but thats rare. Im not for letting a baby CIO but Im not sure in this Instince..WWYD?
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July 26th, 2009, 06:40 AM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Don't see it as CIO, you're with her when it happens right? You are not abandoning her to cry her little eyes out so she can sleep. I have the same probs lately because we are now highly mobile and unable to stay in one place so sleep time is getting harder. So whenever i draw her out of crawl/pull up/stand up mode and place her down again (she knows that's sleep) she whines, but man do i know that whine and no it's not a desperate cry it is the 'let me do my thing i don't wanna sleep yet' and besides i am right beside her for whatever she needs me for until she finally sleeps. That is the only moment i will retire out of the room.

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July 26th, 2009, 11:35 AM
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They way I see it CIO is a systemetic way of forcing a child to go to sleep by themselves and withholding any comfort. What you describe doesnt sound that way so I'd say no, it isnt CIO. You would give comfort to your girl but it just isnt working. I'm in a similar situation, bedtime always seems to involve some crying and fighting.

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July 26th, 2009, 12:49 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
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I am sorry that you are still having problems with bedtime. I hope that you get it resolved soon.

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July 27th, 2009, 07:21 AM
mamatomaica's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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if you're there with her, its not CIO its attempting to comfort her... crying in the arms of a parent is not the same as leaving her to cry alone.

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July 27th, 2009, 11:36 AM
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Now that Jack is older and fully mobile, he no longer nurses to sleep. I have learned that he usually needs to do a bit of fussing before he falls asleep, but I am always right there with him laying in bed while he crawls around and climbs on his "jungle gym" (AKA ME) until he decides to lay down and go to sleep. I don't consider it CIO at all because he is not crying, just fussing a bit and playing, and I am right there with him. I would not call what you are doing CIO since it sounds like you are there for her.

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July 27th, 2009, 06:02 PM
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Are you there? Young toddlers are changing so much every day brings something new.

How does she react if you try to rub her back or pat her bumm once she is laying down?

Some kids do really well with a song that you sing only for bed and over and over until they are relaxed you can do this while rocking or patting/rubbing. If she does become distressed enough to cry when she's put into bed and you are having no luck with your current "routine" sometimes just adding some wierd tweek into the routine will change the pattern of crying herself to sleep. Hang in there and keep trying everything. You WILL find a solution!!

I know one Mom here found her solution was to have a bit of one on one play time before bed. I forget who it was.
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July 27th, 2009, 10:58 PM
ScottishBrit's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im there and im not. She is easily stimulate. So if I pat her bag, ssshhhh her, sing low, hold, rock, etc...she gets mad cause Im not letting her get out of bed. I have gone back in after a few mins to reasure her im there but she pops up and starts to cry. When I leave the room, Oh boy!! Then she's mad! I have one of these Aquariums that attaches to the crib but she never cared for it when she was lil. Her crib got recalled and we just got a new one so were gonna put it together this week and Ill try it again. I also have night light turtle to put in the room Im debating on using? What do you think?
Twilight Turtle
We've also put in a stuffed doll which she doesn't seem to care for, a dog thats super floppy which she'll lay on sometimes, and a blanket which I try and cover her with but it never works...Im trying to give her some kind of "security" when Im not around. She doesn't seem very interested in anything though. She's SUPER independent...LoL
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August 1st, 2009, 08:24 PM
snlemon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I didn't/don't (depending on what you define what I'm doing) believe in CIO. BUT my son, hates hates hates to be bothered while he's trying to sleep. If I get him down fast enough (like right when he is sleepy) he usually falls alseep just fine. But, sometimes if I miss it, he fusses while he settles himself. Often I will go in to check on him and find him curled up on his side, sucking on his fists and then stopping to cry for a minute before going back to sucking on his fists...eventually he drops off to sleep. The times I've disturbed him, I've really only prolonged his agony (and it turns into agony for both of us). Now keep in mind, he doesn't fall asleep while nursing and he doesn't often fall asleep in people's arms...both keep him awake, so I really feel comfortable that my child really doesn't like to be bothered during that time...

So does my baby cry himself to sleep...yeah kind of. But I'm not trying to train him perse, I'm really just letting him cue me as to what he needs...maybe your daughter just needs to work it out herself.
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August 9th, 2009, 06:20 PM
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trust your heart sweetie. For me I would not feel comfortable with that if there was something more I could do (such as hold or nurse child) but i dont see it the same as leaving the baby alone... you are still there comforting her. some babies willcry even when being held. its not the crying that makes it cio, its how the parent responds to the crying. while i personally might do more than what you are willing to do that doesnt mean its cio what you are doing.
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August 11th, 2009, 08:58 PM
Alissa&Isabelle'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Originally Posted by *.Sarah.* View Post
I am sorry that you are still having problems with bedtime. I hope that you get it resolved soon.
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