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I desperately need sleep help!

Forum: Attachment Parenting


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August 6th, 2009, 06:48 AM
lttle_one's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm Stacy, and I lurk on here sometimes, but I don't think I've ever posted. I'm at my wits end and need some suggestions. My DD, Cherie, is 3 months old. She is my only child. She was a great sleeper, until around 2 months, when she started to catnap during the day. This wouldn't be a big deal if it worked for her, but she was getting overtired. She would usually sleep in her swing downstairs, so I decided to transition to her crib for naps. This went well and she started taking about 1 hour naps. I have a short nap routine of going to her room, turning on her lullaby music, closing her curtains (which are light blocking), swaddling her, and rocking her while nursing her. This whole time she's always slept great at night, usually 6+ hours before feeding and sleeping an additional 2-3 hours. Well, then we went on vacation. We didn't have a place for a nap routine and we were gone for 8 days. While on vacation, she started fighting naps hard. She would only sleep while nursing. She went 7 hours without one once, and that just doesn't work for her. She was miserable. Our first day back (we got back the night before and she slept 8 hours before eating, then 2 more) we started crib naps again and it was a bit of transition, but by the end of the day she seemed to welcome them again. This worked for the next day as well. But Tuesday she only took 1 one hour nap. Then she was up every 1-2 hours that night. At first I thought growth spurt, I can deal with this, but when I realized that day that she would only sleep while nursing, I thought back and realized she wasn't eating that night, she was just comfort nursing, but couldnt' stay asleep long without it. She did the same thing last night. After trying to get her to sleep longer than 5 minutes for hours, she finally went out for 2 hours before waking and every 1 1/2-2 hours after that. All in all, she probably got 5 hours of sleep last night. So I got even less. I finally got her down for a nap, after going in and patting her who knows how many times. I really hope she gets a good nap, but it doesn't help me. I'm scared of her getting stuck to where she can't sleep without nursing. I'm trying to use the suggestions in the No-Cry Nap Solution. I started that before vacation and it seemed to work, but now nothing seems to work. If she's not on the breast, she'll fight sleep.
Now, the logistics
We room-share, she sleeps in her Pack N Play next to my bed. Bed-sharing is not an option. DB is an extremely heavy sleeper and doesn't wake when he rolls on me at night, so I won't risk putting her in bed with me. Plus, I don't get any sleep when we bed-share unless we're in a king. I wish I had one.
I can nurse laying down, but I can't sleep like that, so taking her to another bed to try that is not an option. Plus, I don't have a place to put my twin mattress in our tiny home.
We swaddle for both nighttime and naptime. She has a strong startle reflex still and can't sleep without being swaddled.
I know there were other things I thought were important to say, but my mind is drawing a blank. This whole situation is probably amplified by the fact that AF decided to make an appearance I suffer from PPD, and the depression I get when AF comes on top of that is overwhelming, NTM I'm more overtired than I would normally be. DB is trying to help, but it's hard. He's off work today, but then goes back to 4p-12a.
If you made it this far, you deserve a medal. Any suggestions?
Wife to Donny (33), mommy to Cherie (5), and Stepmom to Paige (13) and Garrett (11). Due with number 4 in Jan 2015!!
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August 6th, 2009, 07:15 AM
lttle_one's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh, I forgot to mention that she will not take a paci. And I guess it goes without saying since I posted on the AP board, but I'm not willing to let her cry.
Wife to Donny (33), mommy to Cherie (5), and Stepmom to Paige (13) and Garrett (11). Due with number 4 in Jan 2015!!
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August 6th, 2009, 10:01 AM
keekopeeko's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hey i just want to offer (((HUGS))) .. I know its hard to do the no sleep thing.. I dont feel that i can give you any help as I have a 9 1/2 month old that still wakes up anywhere from 2-4 times a night.. and doesnt put herself to sleep either..

Sounds like you are doing everything i would suggest.. swaddling.. do you try walking her around to get her to fall asleep instead of nursing her to sleep if shes just comfort feeding?

i dunno.. good luck

~Em, Married to Matt since 7/3/04. Mommy to Layla 3/29/06, Eva 10/18/08, Zeke 2/4/11, and Jonah 7/28/13

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August 6th, 2009, 04:07 PM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I dont know about this, but it seems alot of people have mentioned less breastmilk or sleeping problems etc when AF shows up. I also think alot of babies who slept more before may start to need more night feedings at 3 months, its just one of those things, a good sleeper at first isnt always a good sleeper, but mostly I would guess it was the change in routine and will gradually get back to normal now you are home.
The only suggestion I can think of is to try waiting awhile after she nurses to sleep before moving her to cot. I know its hard, but if she gets into a deeper sleep it may help. And as Em mentioned, you might try walking, I ended up doing that alot when Billy was little.
Good luck, I hope things settle down soon.
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August 6th, 2009, 05:34 PM
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Aren't these ladies great? Welcome out of lurkdom!!

My dd was colicky for the first 5 months and I can not speak highly enough of the amby baby and/or swing, it was often the only plce she would nap for anytime without being held...which brings me to babywearing. Baby wearing helps balance an infants system and helps them get thier fill of Mom /Dad. She may settle right down in a carrier with or without a walk, sometimes just going about your day with her on you will relax her enough to snooze out for good long periods, there are all kinds of "tricks" for putting them down once they're out too. (though she may just want to be held).

The important thing to remember is that EVERYTHING these kids go through is really just a phase and really these phases are seldom more than weeks long, then you figure eachother out and for a few weeks or months things are different. This is where being in tune with your child and following thier cues really pays off. You are doing great just by paying attention, the first nine months are REALLY hard then you start to look at the baby and say " Oh man when can I have another?"(lol)

You two are TOTALLY gorgeous by the way I love your siggy.
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August 7th, 2009, 05:56 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I wish I could offer more advice, but you are describing my DS until he was close to a year really... He just was not a good sleeper except for a few short phases. Many times I tried different things, and they might work once, or even twice...but never long term. Sleep deprivation is tough no doubt...so HUGE hugs on that! Hang in there, they ALL do sleep eventually, no matter how bad the or long the phase is that they don't.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
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Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
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August 7th, 2009, 01:46 PM
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Just a thought here, you say that she catnaps during the day. Could the night be due to her not sleeping enough during the day? Would she sleep longer if you lay next to her during naps? My girl is a year and 4 days older than yours and around this time of the year we started to have a nap problem where the only solution was that she'd sleep if I lay next to her. Her problem started after we had been away from home in July for 3 weeks (our place had a huge renovation). In retrospect I think that changing homes too many times in the span of a month got her to latch onto me that much harder.

Hvor er toalettet?
Skal vi danse?
Gratulerer med fødselsdagen
Luftputefartøyet mitt er fullt av ål
Ett språk er aldri nok
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August 7th, 2009, 02:20 PM
lttle_one's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I did get a 5 hour stretch last night before she started waking every 2 hours to eat. That helped a lot! I did leave her in bed with me for a while longer than usual after she fell asleep nursing, so that may have helped. Thanks for the suggestion!

I try to wear her everyday. She loves the Moby if I'm walking around. Our house is very tiny and I would have to walk in tiny circles to walk in my house. We were walking every day but it's be super hot out during the day, so we can't walk until later now. Usually that's how she gets her evening nap.

I really do think she would sleep better at night if she slept more during the day. It's clear that she is overtired during the day. We had been working on that and vacation just screwed it up so much. Oddly enough, she actually sleeps worse when I lay with her. But my kid hates the car, too. She likes to go against the norm.

She's napping a bit better today. Yesterday she napped maybe a total of 1 1/2 hours during the day and had only slept 5-6 hours total the night before. Not enough for a 3 month old (or her 30yr old mother.) Definitely not enough for her, and you can tell. She's such a joy when she sleeps, so happy and loving. She just seems so miserable with this lack of sleep. I hope it was just that vacation screwed her up and that she's getting back to her schedule. She's always liked a schedule before (we formed it based on her cues) and I would love for it to work for us again. We both need the sleep!

I really appreciate all your suggestions! I'm sure as time goes on and she grows up I'll be here asking for all sorts of advice. While I don't try to claim any sort of parenting style, my beliefs tend towards AP parenting so this is where I'd go for info.
Wife to Donny (33), mommy to Cherie (5), and Stepmom to Paige (13) and Garrett (11). Due with number 4 in Jan 2015!!
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August 7th, 2009, 03:22 PM
lttle_one's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Originally Posted by kimber View Post
You two are TOTALLY gorgeous by the way I love your siggy.
Aww, thanks!
Wife to Donny (33), mommy to Cherie (5), and Stepmom to Paige (13) and Garrett (11). Due with number 4 in Jan 2015!!
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