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Biting & Crying when I leave

Forum: Attachment Parenting


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August 24th, 2009, 11:23 AM
Resi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 14,589
I need some advice from the BTDT moms. Oliver is 11 months old and he started biting since he got his bottom & top teeth. If I see it coming I move so he can't bite me or move him. I tell him "no biting". But I'm starting to think that telling him no isn't age appropriate. He always has this bewildered look on his face when I make him stop. What have you done at this age about biting? Should I just redirect him and not say anything?

Also, when I leave in the morning to go to work he has started to get upset and cry. My mom watches him full time right now. She said that afer I leave he is okay after a few seconds. Is there any way to make it less upsetting for him? I'm scared he thinks I don't want to spend my day with him or something. I hate leaving him. It's so hard working full time and I'm trying to find a way to work part time or not work at all.

And last.. what are your thought on discipline? I want to use gentle discipline but I'm not sure what methods to use.
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August 24th, 2009, 11:39 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,408
For biting, I am having similar issues with Bella. I just pop her off and tell her biting hurts me and stop nursing.

I also work full time and when I leave, Bella gets upset. For a while, my mom tried taking Bella out of the room and letting me slip out. That worked for a while but then it stopped working. Next we tried having Bella walk me out. That was going great but recently she figured out what "bye Mommy" means and we are not using that anymore either. Now I just kiss her good bye and go. My mom is good about trying to get her interested in something as soon as I am out the door. Its so hard listening to that heart breaking cry. It does usually only last for a little while and then she is playing and having fun.

I think gentle discipline is the best way to go.

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August 25th, 2009, 06:10 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 904
Definitely get your hands on a copy of the discipline book by Dr. Sears a truly worthwhile investment, you will use it endlessly in the coming years!!

The leaving thing, just try to be really upbeat and when you do leave do it fast, kiss hug out the door.

I found that giving DH and DD a fun activity to do just before I said good bye was the key to our success.

oh and the best method for biting is to ahve on hand something that he CAN bite, put it right in his mouth and say here THIS is for biting.
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August 25th, 2009, 10:17 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 23,763
I would keep a lot of teething toys around. When you notice him trying to bite you, or something inappropriate, redirect him to the teething toys. You can also keep some in the fridge and that might feel good to his gums as well.

The crying when you leave is a normal separation anxiety stage they go through. The best you can do is kiss/hug him, say goodbye, and just leave. It will get better in time. It's probably more painful for you than him.

Here is a link to some good reading on discipline...

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