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Forum: Attachment Parenting


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September 2nd, 2009, 08:50 AM
Amari's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,631
Hi, I'm Amari and I have a 18 month old who I did AP with and I am now due in 3 months with #2. Sooo, how the heck do you do AP with a toddler and a newborn???

I am so worried and confused. My ds still likes to be held a lot, and how do you do this when you are holding and/or nursing the new baby? Plus, my ds had all day colic that was not soothed by the car, stroller etc, only me walking holding him, (not even in a sling), so I'm worried about this one having that too.

I do have an Ergo and a Moby, but my son never liked a sling, but maybe this one would. I'm just starting to freak out a bit and worried about my first child. Any insight would really be helpful! Thanks!

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September 2nd, 2009, 09:14 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,401
I think that's part of adjusting to 2 children, even if you aren't AP. You have to learn to balance the needs and wants of both children, without making one feel as though they are getting neglected. I still struggle with this, but it has gotten easier since Anna was a newborn. Take advantage of the time you do have, during your new baby's naps and quiet time, to spend one-on-one time with your toddler and remind him that he's still special to you. You actually have an advantage IMO, because you can wear the baby and continue doing what you normally do with your toddler. Parents who don't wear thier babies, usually have a harder time multi-tasking, because they spend much of thier time trying to put the baby down. I did that with my first and now I look back and realize I could have been wearing her and getting things done in the process.

Hang in there, it will all work itself out once your baby gets here! Expect that there will be some adjustment, for everybody, but in a few weeks, you'll feel like a pro at balancing both kids
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (6) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4 in April - It's a BOY!

Two Little Monkies on Etsy
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September 2nd, 2009, 11:15 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,408
I agree with Andrea. Becoming a mom of two is hard but it will be an easier adjustment than you realize. Maybe you can try getting some books that talk about bringing home a new baby.

Also, I gave my girls dolls to take care of and feed, diaper, ect but if you dont want to give your son a doll, maybe you can buy a small stuffed animal that he can feed and put to sleep so he can be like you.

The first couple of weeks will be difficult but you will adjust fine.

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September 2nd, 2009, 11:26 PM
Linz L-I's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Carolina girl relocated to the Philly 'burbs (for now)
Posts: 1,619
I only have 1 child, but I do have 2 stepsons who are 3 and 5, and when I interact with them I just put the baby in the Moby. Fortunately, she really likes it there, so it works out for all of us. I'd say that's your best bet. Just start your baby in it from day 1 and maybe she'll always be used to it!

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September 4th, 2009, 08:41 AM
Amari's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,631
Thanks for your responses, I guess I'll just have to wing it!

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September 4th, 2009, 09:07 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
If it makes you feel any better, I am trying to figure it out too. I have a pretty intensive 2 yr old, so the idea of juggling another baby seems nearly impossible for me to fathom now, but I figure it will all work out one way or another. And of course the ladies here have great advice & support for all the little bumps along the way to adjusting.
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
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God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

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September 5th, 2009, 12:01 AM
Posts: n/a
You might also want to check out the Closely spaces siblings board for some tips on having two little ones

Closely Spaced Siblings - JustMommies Message Boards
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September 5th, 2009, 10:44 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,966
It will be ok I promise. I will not lie it can be really hard the first few months but it gets much easier. My boys are 17 months apart. Your baby on the way will more then likely be alot diffrent. Jay was a easy going baby but Jonathan was much more high needs.
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