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Tuesday Tantrum Check In

Forum: Attachment Parenting


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  • 1 Post By klockert

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February 25th, 2013, 10:22 PM
IronMamma's Avatar -Child Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 4,286
I know we did this topic a little while back. I am curious, any improvements? Any new tantrums? How are your LO's doing lately?

Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy

When you know better, you do better. And when you do better, you know HINTA.

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February 26th, 2013, 04:38 AM
TheOnlyPink's Avatar .... In a house of blue!
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 9,071
same old same old! Harry is getting right into the tantrum thing. He does not do well with distraction either! He gets an idea into his head and it is so hard to shift it! I just have to keep saying no, and hoping he will eventually get bored. I do pick my battles, but some things are just unacceptable. For example he keeps pulling at jakes clothes while he is doing his homework. i know he only wants attention, but its not an option,jake has work to do.
Another thing is he hates having his nappy changed, goes into meltdown when he sees the wipes. But that has to happen too!

All par for the course I know, but its hard to stay calm sometimes!

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February 26th, 2013, 06:35 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,293
MaryBeth is starting to understand that tantrums don't get what you want, and that throwing them only makes her feel bad.

That said, when she does have a tantrum we calmly talk to her about why she can't have/do/play with whatever it may be that she has. Sometimes its just a short okay I'll do this other times, its a full blown meltdown.

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February 26th, 2013, 07:24 AM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 17
A while back I read the happiest toddler on the block. When I'm on my game, I try and repeat back to him what I think he's feeling or what I think he's mad about. Then say something like "G is MAD! He is mad because 'x'" Then try to redirect by changing the subject, taking him to another room, or just leaving the room. I like to let him know that I understand he's mad and help him move on to something else. BUT that's when I'm on my game, and easier said than done.
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February 26th, 2013, 08:45 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6,905
My oldest son is rough (autism), but we've seen some improvement lately in him asking for what he needs and that seems to help prevent his meltdowns.

My daughter tends to try to deal with things on her own and yell at her siblings and sometimes hit them (big no no in our house) but we've been talking to her before playtime and telling her, "Remember to come get us if you have a problem so we can help you and you won't get in trouble." So now she is coming to us I'd say at least 75% of the time, which is a huge improvement. Our goal with her right now is for her to first try to resolve things nicely with words, and if that doesn't work, to come get our help. We'll teach her further problem solving skills once this is mastered.

Our youngest seems to be responding best to redirection still. When I see him getting worked up, I have him come over to me and help me with something or suggest something for him to do. This is really just a temporary fix. He has PDDNOS and we're having a really hard time getting him to understand things, such as appropriate play and role in the family. We'd like him to learn things like taking a break when he gets mad, asking for help when he needs it, but most of his problem isn't tantrums as much as it is he instigates his siblings. At the same time, he's one of the sweetest kids, always shares, and even gives up his own treats to his siblings when he knows they want some and there is none left. He also tries telling me what to do (ie: my sister is the most sad so you should give her breakfast first). It's cute, but he just doesn't understand the family dynamic yet. He also thinks he can tell his siblings to go to time out.
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February 26th, 2013, 08:46 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
M has been a lot better lately, actually. I have so much more confidence about how to handle them now, so maybe I am just not remembering them as much??? Lol. But it seems like we mainly have mini meltdowns that don't last very long, now. She is more verbal lately and can tell us what she wants or is done with, and we can either make it happen or explain why she can't have that now but she can have this instead or whatever, and she seems to understand that a lot better than she used to, even just a month ago. I am sure we will have many more tantrum-y phases in the future but we seem to have moved past it for now I really believe in the benefits of staying and listening and allowing her to let all her feelings out in a safe space, rather than always trying to distract her out of it (though in some times and places - the store for example, I definitely do still just distract!!) or potentially teaching her unintentionally that those emotions are not okay for her to be having.

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February 26th, 2013, 09:22 AM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,756
Eleanor has started having some days where she throws a bunch of short mini-tantrums. I usually know what it is that she wants at the time, it's just a matter of her not liking it when I can't give her what she wants (because of a safety issue or because we just don't have it). She has gotten particularly into climbing onto the dog crates, and always gets really mad when we eventually take her down because she doesn't climb down on her own when we ask her. Luckily the tantrums are usually short, so I just try to be with her and let her know that I know it's hard when she can't do something she wants to do.

Some days it seems like she will end one tantrum over something only to go find something else to tantrum over, though. Those aren't fun days :/
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February 26th, 2013, 11:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,925
my boy tantrum r evening out learning to start to calm down when annoyed frustrated

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February 26th, 2013, 12:13 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,755
Eliana's been having less tantrums, but when she has them it's crazy. She can literally cry for for hours. Sometimes I get frustrated and have to tune it out, even though that's not how I want to do things. I feel like nothing works when she's like that, she feels completely unreachable.

Eli's doesn't tantrum too much, when he does they aren't a big deal. The biggest issue is crying for boobs in the middle of the night. Usually I can cheer him up out of them, though not so much at night.

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February 26th, 2013, 12:56 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
Liam is so-so. Not in a really bad stage, but also not in a great one for tantrums. He is exerting his independence, so we get some "foot stomping, door slamming, and screaming at the top of his lungs" for tantrums. They are pretty short-lived unless he is really tired. He generally is easy to calm down (we usually rock in his room and then talk after he is done), but when he is tired, he is naturally pretty unreasonable and it takes a lot longer to return to status quo. But he has some good reasoning skills and communicates pretty well right now, so I think his tantrums are mostly over seeing what is permissable and what I will stop him from doing. So its not as difficult for me to handle as the ones that are just back-to-back, never ending.

Kieran is goo right now, he is pretty easily redirected. He hates getting his diaper changed, which is our biggest area of struggle. He screams through every one, no matter what we do. But Liam was the same way at this age. Otherwise, his are short and he forgets about what he was throwing a fit about as soon as we get involved with something else or even just with me talking to him. He is still easy in that regard.
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February 26th, 2013, 11:30 PM
IronMamma's Avatar -Child Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 4,286
Drake does have little tantrums, and although they can get frustrating I think they are cute. He will go all limp and fall on the floor when he cannot have something, but then I can easily distract him almost immediately so they do not last for a long period of time. For now!

Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy

When you know better, you do better. And when you do better, you know HINTA.

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February 27th, 2013, 11:26 PM
klockert's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near St.Louis, MO
Posts: 655
Gabriella surprisingly hasn't really had any major tantrums lately. There for about a month she would throw a couple fits a day usually banging her head on the floor and crying. I just think she was stressed out with the move too and the big changes that happened that she didn't really understand. We have been in the new house for 4 days now and she is as happy as can be! Hopefully it will stay that way.
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