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Parents driving me crazy!

Forum: Attachment Parenting


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  • 1 Post By Sugaree
  • 1 Post By alittlelost
  • 1 Post By shen7

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October 3rd, 2013, 01:59 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 683
If my parents say one more thing about the way I'm raising my son I'm going to scream. They've been telling me since the day he was born that I should let him CIO. Ummm...no. Not gonna happen. I'll hold/wear him as close to 24/7/365 as I can if that's what it takes to make him happy. But, I'm glad to know that you let me CIO starting at three weeks old. That'll make good fodder for a therapist one day.

Now their thing is getting him to sleep in his own bed. They ask all the time if he's sleeping through the night (yes) but the next question is always "in his bed?" Nope. I like my sleep, and when he sleeps, I sleep. My mom and dad both seem almost disappointed to hear that we're both sleeping well. It's like they want him to wake me up two or three times a night.
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"Shake it up now, Sugaree. I'll meet you at the Jubilee. And if that Jubilee don't come. Maybe I'll meet you on the run."
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October 3rd, 2013, 02:32 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6,905
So sorry you have to deal with unsupportive parents. You should tell them he's going to sleep in your bed until he leaves for college, because, ya know, it's not like he'll EVER sleep in his own bed unless you make him. It amazes me how many people just really think that. You are doing a GREAT job with your son; any kid would be lucky to have you as a mom.
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October 3rd, 2013, 02:57 PM
CrunchyMommaTo2's Avatar Proud Momma
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Home
Posts: 3,134
I'm sorry you have to deal with that! It really stinks. My mom has really come around but the rest of my family and inlaws just don't get it and make comments all of the time so I totally get where you are coming from!

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October 3rd, 2013, 04:30 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
I think just give them time and they will see the benefits. My mom was aghast at first and thought it was really questionable. In the previous generation, ALL the experts/advice stated that cosleeping was going to cause a whiney dependent child and it was important to promote "independence" for the sake of their development. So they really do think it is the right thing to do... But then again they also always laid babies on their tummies and all sorts of stuff that anyone now will tell you to do the opposite. So maybe just bring that up as an example of how times have changed and their way is not how it is done anymore. Once my mom came around to that realization she became a lot more just curious and accepting and even said she wished it had been an option for her. I slept fine in a crib but my little brother was very clingy and hated the crib and slept terribly, and so did she, and if she could have just brought him to bed it would probably have gotten them both a ton more sleep. Heck we might even have had another sibling Anyway, I do hope your parents come around eventually. M changed a lot of people's minds in my family because she is so outgoing, bold, and yes INDEPENDENT lol... Totally just her personality but it really laid to rest the notion that AP and cosleeping and baby wearing will cause a cling-to-mommy dependent personality.
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October 4th, 2013, 05:38 AM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,473
I completely hear that. My mom is the same way. She likes to tell me how I should be doing it, and how things will/ "always" happen (ie babies don't have schedules, you won't get any sleep for a long time, babies like this, babies don't like that) and then almost seems annoyed when she's wrong. She's fond of saying I'm lucky because my baby doesn't scream 24/7 and sleeps pretty much all night and has a pretty good schedule - sorry but there's a difference between lucky and being responsive. Maybe, just maybe, my "luck" comes from giving my baby what she needs.

She's the same way when I don't need her help. She actually gets mad and will go in the other room and give me the silent treatment because I don't need her to take my baby from me. Umm, sorry I can handle it on my own?? I didn't know that was a bad thing.

Finn is happy and healthy - that is all the evidence you need mama

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October 6th, 2013, 09:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,084
I get a lot of flack for how I choose to parent, but at the same time, I feel that my parents especially are really starting to understand. They still think he'll sleep better alone, in his room etc (which waking 8 times a night, even in the pack n play beside my bed will tell you he wont) and that crying is good for him.... but at the end of the day, my kid, I get to call the shots!

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October 8th, 2013, 02:29 AM
Little Kingdom Childcare
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Encinitas, CA
Posts: 19
I am sorry you have to go through this, but I am sure they mean no harm. All said and done a mom knows the best for her child and you should do what you think is the best. If you feel and are convinced what you are doing is right, let them know gently. The other best thing you can do is follow your instincts and don't get disturbed by what your parents say. You are a great mom, just don't let anything affect you. God bless.
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