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  • 1 Post By alittlelost

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January 20th, 2014, 06:03 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,755
This is a very long term problem with my two older term children that I'm just at a loss with.

Eli likes doing what his sister is doing, he's also naturally an up close person. He's always touching, cuddling etc. Eliana highly prizes her personal space. The result is Eli getting into her personal space, messing up her neatly arranged toys. She responds with violence, usually biting, sometimes pushing and always screaming.
Both of them have very limited vocabularies, only enough to communicate basic needs, if that. So it's hard to explain to them what's right and why.
When I catch it I get between them and redirect, but I'm not sure how to prevent things. I want Eliana to know that she has a right to her space and privacy, but also give her a better way to react to it. I want Eli to learn more about personal boundaries, without stifling his friendly personality.

I'm just stuck on this, I think a fresh perspective might be beneficial.

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January 20th, 2014, 11:48 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6,905
This may not help, but could you start giving Eliana "her time" (it doesn't have to be on a schedule.) So when Eli goes over to her say "That's nice, but it's Eliana time!" (Maybe make a place that is for "Eliana" time so she knows where to go that it will be reinforced to leave her alone. Also if you see her in that place, you keep a closer I on Eli, do something with him, set him up with a preferred activity. If Eliana isn't in her space, but want's space, maybe. "Want Eliana time?" then lead her to her space that is HER SPACE ONLY so she can learn where to play that signals to everyone else to leave her alone. To help with Eli's friendly personality, invite him to do more things with you or make time each day where his sister may want to play. For example, at the end of the day my kids like to play a board game with me. We have some that are great for little kids (2-4 years) so it also teaches him that some games and some situations are good for being social, and other things it's good to give someone their space when they need it. Just throwing some ideas out there. It might not help, but I hope it at least spurs some fresh ideas that will help.
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January 21st, 2014, 02:51 PM
Quantum_Leap's Avatar frequent flier
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Seattle area, Washington
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We recently started teaching my oldest son, Charlie, that when he gets angry at his little brother and feels like he wants to hit him, he should hit a pillow instead. We practiced role-playing this several time with me pretending to be Beau (the younger brother) and then Charlie pretending to get angry at me and punching a pillow. He thought the role-playing was pretty funny. We'll see whether or not he remembers it the next time an incident comes up. Anyway, it's worth a shot!

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