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3Sapphires January 4th, 2012 08:18 AM

overwhelming grief
My father went on a cruise the day after thanksgiving, and apparently imbibed way too much and returned home with acute pancreatitus. He was admitted to the hospital. Either do to the stress or pain his body was in, he had a massive heart attack and coded the next day.

They were able to bring him back with the paddles, but required full life support. He has also been in renal failure.

last week he had a great day off the respirator, was sort of coherent, my mom got spend time "with" him. The next day his blood-oxygen level bottom out and he needed to go back on the ventilator - we had to decide if it was time to let him pass or put a tracheotomy in. My brother and mom and I decided to give him more time and put the trach in. He had that done last thursday.

He has had some good days off the ventilator, sometimes as much as 5 hours of spontaneous breathing with good oxygen levels.

They took him off the sedative the other day, it is a quick acting sedative, so he should wake up within a few hours of having it turned off.

It has been 2 days and he still hasn't woken up. They are now hypothesizing he may have brain damage from the heart attack, or he may have had a stroke.

I just find myself in tears. I am not ready to say good bye yet. He is so young, only 64 years old. This has been the worst month of our lives, we haven't really had a good day with no worries since thanksgiving.

I have been believing with all my heart that he would get better, that he would be able to come visit me later this year and see his newest grandbaby. I feel so overwhelmed. Stuck between hopefulness and sadness. it is so wearing on all of us.

CBTECH January 4th, 2012 01:22 PM

Re: overwhelming grief
I'm so sorry to hear about what's going on Ami. I hope that things work out for you and your family, and I know that losing any family member can be extremely hard.

My dad passed away at a very young age, just a few days shy of his 45th birthday, and it was extremely hard. He too was hooked up to a ventilator but after having good days & bad (more bad than good) it was the hardest decision we had to make as children (my mom passed the year before) to remove him from the ventilator and let be what would be. Sadly he passed away a few hours later. We all had a very hard time accepting this but we knew it was for the best, and he wouldn't want us to keep him hooked up to a "machine" (as he called it) just to keep him alive for our sakes.

I miss him everyday but I know that we all made the right decision, as hard as it was at the time.

Just enjoy every moment you have with your dad right now and I pray & hope he comes out of this for you & your family.

CBTECH January 9th, 2012 03:03 PM

Re: overwhelming grief
Hi Ami,
Just wondering how things are going with you and your dad? Hope all is well!!

3Sapphires January 11th, 2012 03:34 PM

Re: overwhelming grief
thanks for asking.

He had been moved last week to a long term life support facility, but yesterday his belly was distended so they readmitted him to the ICU - his pancreas now has a cyst on it, and the small intestine has adhered to it causing a pinch or blockage. he is filling up with gas.

I live too far away to visit, or get any kind of info from the docs, so all I have is my mom to go on. she says "we are back to square one, only worse" and "his belly isn't any better" but she hadn't spoken to the doctors yet today.

It is often hard to decipher my mom's diagnosis to get to the actual truth.

CBTECH January 16th, 2012 04:51 PM

Re: overwhelming grief
Thanks for the update.
Keep your chin up & you and your family are still in my thoughts & prayers.

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