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-   -   Where do I belong? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f300-grief-and-loss/2618634-where-do-i-belong.html)

livinglifetothefull January 26th, 2013 02:25 AM

Where do I belong?
I don't know where I belong. Loss of a child? Stillbirth? Miscarriage/pregnancy loss. Let me tell you my story, you can decide where I belong.

I have 8 children who walk this Earth with me. I've had four miscarriages - one before I became a mummy and three since my last baby was born. I gave birth to 8 healthy babies in a row.

I got pregnant and was due June 25th. I was starting to enjoy the pregnancy, starting to hope and believe I would give birth to another child. Due to one thing and another, I didn't get my first scan until 17+6 weeks (January 21st). To my absolute shock we discovered there were two babies in there! Wow!

It all ended just 3 days later, January 24th. I can't go into details of what happened, it's just too painful to write. But my sweet babies, Ruby Florence and Harry Arthur were born at 18+2. They were both alive when they were born. I know this. Ruby wrapped her hand around my finger and Harry squirmed. I saw him. I truly did. They were alive.

It's been just 2 days since they passed and I don't know what to do. I want to sleep but I can't. I don't want to be alone but I don't want anybody around me. I want to die to be with my babies but I have 8 children who need me.

So where do I belong? Loss of a child? They were born alive. Stillbirth? They were born alive. Pregnancy loss? I guess this is where I belong but I gave birth to them.

SerenitysMom January 26th, 2013 05:54 PM

Re: Where do I belong?
Usually its considered neonatal causes but your more than welcome to come to the still birth section hunny and share your story and photos if you would like. I am sorry for your pain and that you had to go through all of that.

zkat January 27th, 2013 05:41 PM

Re: Where do I belong?
In the June DDC you said Harry grabbed your finger. Did your missing husband ever show up?

Please do not toy with these ladies and their emotions They have been through so much. I didn't say anything in the DDC, but I draw the line on you posting this here. Everyone here has had real losses and the pain and grief is very real and very raw.
You have been reported to the mods.

Pretty_N_Ink January 28th, 2013 08:54 AM

Re: Where do I belong?
I truly hope that this isnt a "fairytale".
Having lost an infant I would give anything to not know that pain as would many others. Please dont invent stories and thank God you havent had to experience something so tragic.

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