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Effervescence July 1st, 2009 11:01 PM

Quick lurker introduction
Hi everyone, okay so this turned into a not-so-quick intro, but I just want to say hey and who I am, and that I might be posting here.
I lurk here a lot. I've lurked here since I was pregnant with my first son, who is now nearly 11 months old. I went back and forth with wanting a home birth with Jonah, and at nine months pregnant I found myself interviewing midwives. My mom, who is an ICU nurse, and my sister who is a drama queen talked me into going to the hospital. I really respect my mom's opinion about birthing babies, because she is a nurse and has birthed five of her own, and I think that is really what spoke to me. Plus, the hospital where I was born myself, just built a "state of the art" birthing center, separate from the hospital, birthing tubs, massaging showers, birthing balls, etc. When we toured the hospital I was told labor and even birth in the tub was possible, and that they use portable monitors, that would allow me to get up and walk around.

Wrong wrong wrong! I was never allowed to get into the tub or shower, even when I was begging. One nurse "let" me relax without the very NOT portable monitor on. I called three or four times and hour to use the bathroom, just so I could labor off the bed. I remember calling the nurse to unstrap me, going to the bathroom and squatting between the toilet and the tub during contractions. In the morning I was finally allowed to walk the halls, and that helped SO MUCH. I went from one centimeter to four centimeters in just a half hour of walking. Then the doctor broke my water and I was restricted even more.

The birth itself went really well. It was long and hard, yes, but I didn't focus on the pain as much as I thought that I would.

We are TTC #2 now. I really want a home birth this time, because I am not happy at all with the interventions that I had. My labor was rushed because my OB had a plane to catch, she admitted it to me, and for what because I still labored for 36 hours and pushed for two and a half hours. I was induced on Wed. afternoon and he was born Friday morning on his due date. It was long and hard, and I want to avoid it this time 'round. I also remember telling DH over and over "I just want to get out of this bed!" I've never felt so trapped. I'm doing research now while we're TTC, because we have moved since the birth of our son and I am feeling like I have fewer resources, and when the time comes I really want to know where to turn.

I'm also a little concerned because of some things that happened during Jonah's birth. I am not sure if they happened because of my doctor's rush, or if they really were serious problems with my body reacting to birth, or if it was due to being induced.

There was meconium in my water, and so when Jonah was born I was able to hold him for a second and then he was whisked away to be suctioned out, because he had swallowed meconium. I was watching them clean him/weigh him etc, and I told the nurse I want to nurse him right away. I thought that I would know when the placenta was going to be birthed- like I would feel the urge to push again, but as I was watching my little baby, the doctor started yelling at me that I had to push now. Then she stuck her hand up inside of me to get it out. I screamed at her never to do that again, and she said if I don't let her then she will have to put me under because my cervix was closing and the placenta wasn't coming out. I was really scared, and so was DH so we gave permission for a D&C. I lost a lot of blood, and had to have a transfusion. I couldn't sit up without passing out, and honestly I just recently got my color back- I've been very pale since he was born, and I'm part cherokee so I am typically pretty dark. I am anemic, and I've been doing a lot of reading that a lot of blood loss is typical when giving birth for women who are anemic. I don't know if I lost the blood because of the D&C, or if the placenta wasn't coming out because of the induction, or if the doctor was just being impatient. I do know that I didn't get to see my son for five hours after he was born, and he had low blood sugar (duh, he wasn't eating like I asked him to) and they gave him sugar water and formula while I was in surgery. I'm pretty sure it was because my OB was due to catch a plane at 8:00am and it was now 5:00am.

So if you've gotten this far, thanks for reading about my concerns and my hopes! Hopefully I will soon be joining you ladies as a pregnant mommy planning a real birth!

inyourhonor July 1st, 2009 11:16 PM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
First off, wow. I am so sorry you went through all that with your first birth experience! I didn't have a good first experience either and my 2nd was my HBAC baby. I also think that some of the things that happened to you were due to your doctors need to rush and catch her plane (what crap, honestly).

I think it's great to start doing research and gain knowledge before you're even pregnant on home birth! Great start :) Have you ever looked into watching The Business of Being Born? If not, I highly suggest it. I made my husband watch it before we were pregnant with our 2nd it helped open the door to him. Then I started searching for home birth midwives (I was also looking at CPMs but couldn't find one willing to take me as a VBAC patient) and when I found my midwife, we set up a consultation. My husband then proceeded to ask her every question under the sun and express every concern he had. She answered them with tons of info/knowledge and he walked out of there telling me to cancel further appointments with other doctors. That was it, he was sold.

I would go about finding a midwife, meet with her and find out if she thinks you're a good candidate. She'll more than likely want your birth records from your sons birth. So I would get those and have those ready to go. You should be able to get them by calling the hospital he was born at. In it, she'll be able to know exactly what was done to you, why and so on and so forth.

Also, check out books on Home Birth. Books about Homebirth

I think if you're truly interested in one, you're headed in the right direction as a start :) Welcome and I hope to hear more from you!

_Brandy_ July 2nd, 2009 09:45 AM

Re: Quick lurker introduction

I only have a minute right now, but a reason (possibly) that your cervix was closing was because you had an injection of pitocin. When this is given it causes the cervix to begin to close and it is a dangerous thing to have if the placenta isn't coming right away.

Martina July 2nd, 2009 11:05 AM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
Good luck with planning your homebirth.

Effervescence July 2nd, 2009 11:16 AM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
Hi Brandy :D

I was wondering if this could be the reason, but the pitocin was given to me twelve hours before I started pushing- would it still have had this effect?

My two biggest fears of having the home birth in regards to ME is that I won't be able to birth the placenta again, and I will lose too much blood. I don't think the bleeding part will be too much of an emergency- If I do, then there will be time for me to go to the hospital. I was AT the hospital last time and they still didn't get the transfusion until 5:00pm when it was ordered at 7:00am. But I had been told that if the cervix closed before the placenta was out, they would need to do an operation very similar to a c-section. But then later at my follow up exam, my doctor said (her words, I wrote them down right after the appointment) "There was no emergency. That placenta was being stubborn and wouldn't come out! I remember because you were my last delivery before I went overseas, and my plane left in a few hours. I was just thinking 'come out already!" Soooooo, I wonder if she just forgot the urgency or if it didn't exist in the first place. She also had told me that my blood pressure was high and I *needed* to be induced. Then I found out she was leaving on my due date and didn't tell me? Ugh, I could go on and on and on. We will definitely be more picky about our birth attendant this time around. Honestly I feel very lucky that we didn't have a c-section, and one of the nurses told me the same thing. She said "You 'timed out' quite a while ago."

The things I'm worried about for the baby are, what if s/he swallows meconium again, and what if s/he chokes on mucous the same way Jonah did. I guess with the mucous, I am used to it by now from Jonah (he had problems with choking until he was about seven months old.) and I'm assuming that a midwife would be equipped to handle meconium? I guess that's something to ask in an interview.

I just wish that I had listened to my instinct and waited to naturally go into labor, because then I would know if these are things to be concerned about if you strip away the interventions.

Oh, I do have one more question. In case of an emergency transfer to the hospital, do you just see the doctor who is on call at that hospital or do you have a back-up doctor to call if anything goes wrong? I've seen on some TV shows that women have a back up doctor. But that is TV.

Marisa, I've seen Business of Being Born (a week after Jonah came, actually) and I have the book Your Best Birth as well. My DH is 100% for a homebirth. He wanted to have an unassisted birth with Jonah, and he was really trying to talk me out of going to the hospital. He is actually the one who found the numbers for the midwives that I was interviewing at nine months pregnant! In the end, he agreed with me that I was the one doing this and I had to go where I felt safe and comfortable. I *thought* that would be the hospital, but now I know how uncomfortable and unsafe I felt. Now we just heard of a mother who died from meningitis in a hospital near us, giving birth. Oh, and I also apparantly had a TON of stitches, and I was told that I didn't have any. They just kept falling out though; I lost count. That kind of scared me because what if they had gotten infected and I didn't even know they were there? The birth itself was wonderful and amazing, and I really do look back on it with fondness and great joy. But the way it was handled by the professionals, and the things I was told (or not told) really make me angry and I don't want to have another birth like that again. I couldn't cope with it the way they were asking me to, and if I have to go through labor to have more kids then I think I should find a way to go through it that suits me better KWIM?

I'm really rambly the last couple of days. Sorry to dump all this venting on you ladies. I thought I was over it by now!

Effervescence July 2nd, 2009 11:22 AM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
you know I just looked back at my birth story and realized it wasn't twelve hours between pitocin and pushing, it was more like six. It was twelve hours between my water breaking and pushing. so then yes I agree more that it was probably the pitocin giving me issues with the placenta

inyourhonor July 2nd, 2009 11:36 AM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
I definitely know what you mean! My midwife was equipped to handle meconium, I think Dane actually had some (he was a week past my due date) but I don't think he swallowed any. My birth with my first son ended the way it did (c-section) because of a cascade of interventions.

As for transferring, I know some women choose to have a back up doctor. I am not sure exactly how to go about it if you'd not disclose your plans of home birth or if you would. We never bothered with one because of the hard time we had finding a doctor in the first place to take me as a VBAC. If I were to transfer I would have seen whatever doctor was on call, they couldn't deny me medical attention so I never saw any reason to a back up nor did I want lectures because of how I was choosing to birth.

Good luck and that is great your husband is 100% on board! It took me awhile to convince my husband haha.

Martina July 2nd, 2009 12:47 PM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
hmm I know I had meconium in the water with my first, but after the baby was doing just fine, doctor was very good about it all (originally she wanted to have a team of specialists in my room waiting for the baby!!!!!!!!!! and then she canceled them thank goodness) I am pretty sure I had meconium with other kids (but I dont know which ones really because midwives are not really that concerned with meconium as they are in the hospital)
Here we dont have back up doctor, we would just see whoever is on call for emergency section.

Effervescence July 2nd, 2009 01:14 PM

Re: Quick lurker introduction

Originally Posted by Martina (Post 16438827)
hmm I know I had meconium in the water with my first, but after the baby was doing just fine, doctor was very good about it all (originally she wanted to have a team of specialists in my room waiting for the baby!!!!!!!!!! and then she canceled them thank goodness)

yeah, there were what seemed to be fifty people in the room as I was delivering Jonah. They were cheering, which was sweet but it kept distracting me and every time I would start to get a good push in, they'd all say "YAY here he comes" or "you're doing it!" and I'd be like "wha?" and stop pushing!

I'm glad to hear that it's not as urgent as they make it out to be. I was very disappointed because it was right in my birth plan that I wanted him to be brought right to breast after birth, and it ended up being five hours. He could have nursed had they not been so concerned about meconium.

soImarriedAnerd July 2nd, 2009 02:19 PM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
Passing meconium in womb isn't as uncommon as people think..its actually alot more common with pit moms. But them actually inhaling it is rare. My m/w is equipped to deal with that if it happens at home though. I do personally have a back up OB for possible hospital transfer (that was my DH's request if we were to do a HB). As far as bleeding goes....
first thing we (i'm a nurse :) )do at the hospital is massage/breastfeeding to get it to stop
second is a shot of pit
third is IV fluids
(all the above a m/w can do at home)
we usually take people in for surgery before they even get blood (if its bad enough they will get blood during surgery), and IF their levels were low for blood work they would get blood the next morning usually ---your m/w would be transferring the moment she was giving you IV fluids. (takes the average USA operating room 20-30 min to prep, so depending on how far away you are you could beat the team!)
I'm glad your looking more into this.

justjaQ July 3rd, 2009 07:49 AM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
yay, good luck on your ttc journey!
it's nice to meet you, here, and i hope you get a home birth too! my name is jaQ. i am 25, from michigan, and my boyfriend mike and i are expecting our first together, and fourth over all.

i swallowed meconium when i was born, and spent time in the nicu for it (this was in 1984). an 8-1/4 lb. baby, with all the little preemies, they say it was a sight...
i'm sorry you had some complications with jonah's birth.

i am 7 weeks along with #3, and this will hopefully be my first home birth too, should everything go as planned.

i HATED my hospital births. i gave birth to both of my children VERY fast, and was denied epidurals because the nurses assumed i wasn't far enough along. i was so thirsty, i felt like i would pass out, but they have the whole ice chip policy. :ROLLEYES: my mother brought me water during both of my births, and nobody objected.
i wanted to be up and around, to help with dilating, too, and they made me lay in bed (this was my second birth-- i had my son within ten minutes of BEGGING for a triage room, because they left me in the hall, sweating and moaning, while people started), i wasn't allowed to even sit up, because baby's heartrate would go off the moniter. no tub or shower, nothing at all my way. and i had two doctors give me two episiotomies that i specifically said NO to.
my son's heartrate got flaky right before his birth, and after they pulled him out, i was never allowed to even see him-- they took him to the far side of my room to "moniter" him: meaning, they checked his weight, bathed him, and left him alone in the corner for 45 minutes. finally, my step-dad went and *****ed out a couple of nurses, and they rought me my baby to hold for the first time. there was no reason for any of that. i just really have a horrible taste in my mouth with hospital deliveries now. not to mention c-section rates, and stuff...
oh, and after my 2 hr. & 20 minute FIRST labour, i was given pitocin along with having my water broken, when i arrived to deliver number 2-- knowing my history, they did that, because my doctor wanted to have lunch on time. *fumes* :angry: it was more intense with the totally-uncalled-for pitocin, and my labour lasted all of 30 minutes. i will never let this crap hapen again, if i can help it.
grrr. sorry to turn this around on myself-- just wanted to say that i can totally relate to hospitals screwing with you on what should be the best day of your life.

Fluga July 11th, 2009 08:50 AM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
Such horrible things that seem to be the norm in many hospitals. It's sad how you always hear about childbirth being this immensly painful experience and then how it supposed to be so nice and supported in the hospital. The truth then tends to be that yes while it isnt a walk in the park the hospital often just makes it worth. I wonder if they'll ever learn that giving birth isnt like a tooth extraction. Women dont just want it pulled out and be done with it :(

SilverRose July 31st, 2009 09:22 AM

Re: Quick lurker introduction
When I was pregnant with my daughter, my water broke at 11 pm on tuesday. I went to the hospital got there after 12 am. They immediately put me on IV fluids and Pitocin. I did NOT want the pitocin. I had heard it made labor worse. It didn't really effect my contractions, but it sent the WORST shooting pain through my vaginal walls. I literally felt like someone was knifing me! Shar got stuck on my pelvic bone and the Dr. I did NOT want came in as an assist, because he knew of my preference not to have him deliver. He kept telling me if you don't deliver soon you're gonna have to have a c-section. By this point, I"m almost passing out. No food or water in almost 24 hours. I threw up twice during delivery. I wasn't in any frame of mind to agree or deny anything. They told me they needed to give me an episiotomy to try one more thing before I absolutely have to get a c-section. I agreed, I was willing to have anything besides a c-section. The resident who was using the forceps had no clue what she was doing. She was trying to pull the baby straight out!!!!! I heard Dr. Young (the dr. I didn't want.) tell her to pull down and then out. Over and Over. I'm laying there like "***!!" Finally Dr. Young took the forceps and pulled Shar out. I never felt such pain! I don't plan on having any more children and I definitely don't want to go through that again.

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