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-   -   Having a rough time with the IL's (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/1625947-having-rough-time-ils.html)

lhug_nar July 8th, 2009 10:22 AM

Having a rough time with the IL's
We were gone for the weekend with my IL's. Somehow one of the days we were with them the topic of me having a home birth came up. My FIL's first comment was "why do you want to do something so dangerous that more than likely will end up with you and the baby dead?!" I proceeded to try to inform him that having an HBAC isn't going to end up with me and the baby dead and that I understood his concerns. I tried to tell them about the risks associated with going to the hospital and the benefits of staying home for an HBAC but they weren't having it at all. No one wanted to listen. My MIL thinks that we should go to a small town hospital again and do a hospital VBAC since her best friend is an L&D nurse. Keep in mind it's just in the last month that this small town hospital has accepted VBACs and that the last small town hospital I went to I ended up with DS2's c-section! SIL of course jumped on the same wagon as FIL and MIL since she was at the same hospital I was at with DS2 with her DS and even had the same doctor... She had a natural birth completely but was still threatened with a c-section. :(

I guess besides venting to y'all, I'm wanting to know if there are any websites, studies, etc that I can email over to the whole family to inform them properly about home birth's and HBACs?

I've done a whole lot of research on home births and VBACs but I'm looking for maybe some new information I can
give them... TIA!

inyourhonor July 8th, 2009 10:45 AM

Re: Having a rough time with the IL's
I'm sorry you're having a hard time with your IL's. My mom was the vocal one with her concerns, my MIL wanted to stop us but thankfully my SIL shut her up.

Have you been to vbacfacts.com? I found this for you - VBAC Facts Why Homebirth/ HBAC?

Maybe point them in the direction of ICAN.

noworries July 8th, 2009 02:11 PM

Re: Having a rough time with the IL's
My in-laws don't like my decision to have a homebirth either but luckily for them neither of them are stupid enough to make the any comments like what your in-laws made. I would have been soooo upset.
I think the site that Marisa gave you is a great resource.

_Brandy_ July 8th, 2009 03:51 PM

Re: Having a rough time with the IL's
The above site has good info.
This is why I usually recommend to people not to tell family or friends until after the birth, it saves much heartache in many cases.

lhug_nar July 8th, 2009 03:56 PM

Re: Having a rough time with the IL's
Brandy, I was sorta left with no choice when they started to push and hound about what hospital I was going to give birth at... I wasn't going to lie to them. All I said was "for now we are planning on having the baby at home." and it turned into this...

_Brandy_ July 8th, 2009 10:08 PM

Re: Having a rough time with the IL's
I hope I didn't sound rude earlir, that wasn't t he intent. I would have probably said I hadn't yet chosen a hospital, not completely a lie :smile:

lhug_nar July 8th, 2009 10:23 PM

Re: Having a rough time with the IL's
Brandy, you didn't sound rude at all... I'm sorry if I sounded bishy... They just push until you give them an answer... it sucks but they're my ILs...

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