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-   -   Toying with the idea of a homebirth, lots of questions (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/1774369-toying-idea-homebirth-lots-questions.html)

TeresaSuperMama November 16th, 2009 11:57 AM

Toying with the idea of a homebirth, lots of questions
Okay, I am toying with the idea of a homebirth. I have thought about doing one before, but dh is adamantly opposed to it. My last 4 births have been for the most part unmedicated with a CMN in a hospital. I am currently ttc and have had 3 losses. I have loved my midwife in the past, but the way I have been treated through these losses has left me angry and upset with my care. When I called to get my hcg levels and talk about why I am m/c their immediate suggestion was that I go on birth control pills for 2 months. I want a doctor/midwife who can respect my religious beliefs, who can support my family size, and who is understanding and caring to my physical and emotional beliefs. As I started my search for a new doctor or midwife this lead me to thinking about homebirth again. My dh is still opposed to it. I tried talking to him and made little headway. He did listen and was caring and all that, but he still is opposed to it. I keep thinking though that a homebirth midwife will be more likely to fall into the criteria I listed above - respecting my religious view points, not pushing bcps on me, respecting my family size, and supporting my care both physically and emotionally. Now, onto all my questions and concerns.

1. My husband is completely and totally opposed to this. How do I get him on board? This is probably number 1.

2. Hemorrhaging. I have hemorrhaged after 3 of my births and my first m/c. After my dd was born I bleed so badly that I was just gushing every where. They had to give me several different medications before the bleeding stopped. I could hardly stand up and walk around for a week afterwards and was short of breath and it was just an awful feeling. With Leo, my last pregnancy I had an IV hooked up. (With Megan I had no IV or any interventions until I started hemorrhaging.) With Leo I insisted on an IV and meds to stop bleeding I had them give the very second he was born. I did not hemorrhage with him and I am sure all the meds I had on board made a difference because he was 10+ lbs.

Do midwives that deliver at home have access to meds for hemorrhaging? And how do they manage that. I am not far from a hospital, but bleeding to death is not something I am interested in doing.

3. Gestational Diabetes - I had gestational diabetes with Leo and he had some health concerns after birth. He wound up being over 10lbs even with medication. I did not do a very good job taking care of myself or taking my diet & nutrition seriously with him so this may be something preventable with good nutrition, but at the same time I have 2 children with type 1 diabetes. I am not sure that I can completely manage this without medication.

4. Pain management - I have had my last 4 without an epidural and virtually medication free. I did have a local anesthetic applied to my cervix, but that's it. Other than Leo I managed okay, but he was so big and his birth was so hard and painful I am not sure I can do that again. I mean obviously you do if you have to, but I am very afraid of repeating that. I think his size was a big factor in this.

Anyhow, I am not decided on anything, but figured I'd put out some feelers and find out a little more info.

Twhylite21 November 16th, 2009 12:38 PM

Re: Toying with the idea of a homebirth, lots of questions
Why is your DH opposed to it? Is it safety concerns or something else? There is a sticky on this board that has lots of good info about getting DH on board.

My midwives told me that they have Pitocin and some herbs and other medicines on hand in case of hemorrhaging. They said they have had a few women majorly hemorrhage, but never had to transfer them to a hospital. They can do an emergency transfer if necessary though. But what they have on hand is pretty much the same as what the hospital has on hand for hemorrhages.

Gestational diabetes I have no idea about since I haven't had it. I would look into following the GD nutrition plan from the start of getting pregnant though.

As for pain management, there are lots of natural ways to get pain relief (massage, relaxation techniques, showers/baths, etc).

Martha83 November 16th, 2009 03:10 PM

Re: Toying with the idea of a homebirth, lots of questions
crap..I just had a whole thing typed out and accidentally deleted it! Dang it.

Ok..let's try agian...

For hemorrhage...I was given angelica to put under my tongue as long as I could stand it...it had a burning sensation (this was at a birthing center btw)....I was never classified as hemorrhage but they were concerned....but also they had pitocen injections there if needed for hemorrhage stopping...

as for GD...Really it depends on how you were tested....they can treat it yes....but I dont think the way they test in the regular practices is very accurate...my midwife had me eat a large meal (and if I eat sweets make sure some part of it was sugared) and then an hour later they pricked my finger and did a diabetes blood test on a test strip just like someone who has diabetes would test. They also tested my iron levels from the same tiny little prick....and that was it...THAT is accurate...drinking sugar syrup is not!

But yes...I believe diet and nutrition would MAJORLY help you in this matter...

that is all I can address from your list...I'm in the NTNP mode right now...and my birthing center I used when I delivered Olive is closing so I cannot use them next time...so homebirth is my only option outside of hospital (which I WILL NOT DO)....so I have to convince dh as well...good luck!!!!

flitabout November 16th, 2009 03:17 PM

Re: Toying with the idea of a homebirth, lots of questions
Hi Teresa, I am glad to see you here! I think that the hardest part is getting DHs on board, I think the thing that had the best result for me was a few youtube videos. I did tuns of research before I ever put the topic in front of him. The funny part is that all of the births I have been able to find have been so quite and beautiful, he had a really hard time finding fault anywhere with them! Amazingly after that he got on board really quick! I thought I was in for the fight of a lifetime as he is always been heavily on the hospital band wagon. My SIL was the one I wasn't worried about as she thought about doing it with her last baby. DH her brother told her to knock it off, that she is just jealous because she didn't do it and I would be the first in the family to actually try! What a switch!
For the hemorrhage, I think your best bet would to contact a few different midwives and ask them how they handle that, and what drugs they stock for that. I would do the same when asking about the GD, see how they handle that. Information is always your best defense!

WishingStar November 16th, 2009 08:39 PM

Re: Toying with the idea of a homebirth, lots of questions
I can only really help on one question... I have never hemmoraged, however I know I'm at risk because of my MTHFR mutation.

She carries Pitocin, Methergine, several herbs including Shepherd's Purse and blend called HemHalt as well as the Cypress oil. She was going to look into getting Cytotec just incase.

Oh and as for the husband coming around. Mine was against it until our last (4th) birth. Then I think he saw how the hospital really was and how great our doula and midwife and so on was... so this time around I was able to just say "I want a home birth". And he caved :D

Good luck!

CameraLinds November 16th, 2009 11:18 PM

Re: Toying with the idea of a homebirth, lots of questions
:welcome: Good luck convincing your DH!

I know my midwife had Pitocin and herbs (forget which) for hemorrhaging.

My MWs did test for GD there were 2 choices of tests to use- the basic fasting blood sugar test or the glucose drink/test. My MWs also monitored my eating at every appt. had to keep track the day before an appointment of what I ate. Which I know helped keep me eating healthy. And I know GD can totally be controlled by diet/nutrition, which is the way most MWs go! As they are for all natural remedies not medications and what not. Just like how there's herbs and supplements you can take if you are Strep B positive, the IV antibiotics is not needed ;)

Pain management- I highly recommend a water birth- that sooooo helped me!! I was in labor for 25 hours, the last 3.5 were spent in the water pool, which helped me relax which sped by labor and made it so easier to push and I didn't even tear. Massage, hot compresses, hypnobirthing, music, mediating, moaning/groaning are also other great pain relievers. We also did perineal massages starting around 32 weeks to help stretch out the perinum to prevent tearing which I believe helped as well. I have heard of a glass of wine in labor is sometimes recommened by MWs to help relax you.

GL on TTC and convincing yoru DH

Twinkle November 17th, 2009 11:37 AM

Re: Toying with the idea of a homebirth, lots of questions
I'm glad to see you here Teresa! All of your questions are valid and honest concerns. As for convincing DH, I found that with my DH who was also opposed, that once he met with our actual HB midwife, that he became much more open the idea. He was able to ask them about their experience and background, ask all his "what if" questions, and get to know them. Once we left our initial consult, he was on board with my desire for a homebirth. I defintiely urge you to see out some possibilities and then have consults with them. Hopefully DH wil learn a bit more about the process and whatnot. My DH had a very uneducated view about homebirth (what man doesn't to begin with). He didn't realize that midwives (the ones I used at least) were RNs, that they could write scripts, do lab work, have emergency equipment at the birth, etc. Once he realized all of that, he was much more comfortable with the idea.

As for Hemorrhaging. Definitely a valid concern. Its also something you'd have to discuss with your midwife. Each midwife carries different supplies to prevent and treat hemorrhaging. Some midwives will have you take different supplements and homeopathics during your pregnancy to help prevent it.

As for gestational diabetes, its certainly something that your midwife could test for and monitor. I don't have any experience with it, so I don't feel like I can give you that much advice.

Good luck with your journey. I do hope that you find a care provider that respects your religious views and your family. I think that no matter what birth choices you have, that every woman deserves that much.

moon~maiden November 17th, 2009 04:14 PM

Re: Toying with the idea of a homebirth, lots of questions
the brewer's diet is excellent for GD. Good luck Teresa!

eta: excellent for preventing it as well

Gestational Diabetes

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