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-   -   What about the other mess? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/1868298-what-about-other-mess.html)

TheOtherMichelle February 9th, 2010 03:26 PM

What about the other mess?
Your house being messy? :lol: One thing that may stress me out about a HB would be having a bad week and a really messy house. I'm sure midwives are used to it, but am I the only one who wonders about this?

Kelllilee February 9th, 2010 03:49 PM

Re: What about the other mess?
I totally worried about that! I just made sure the house was decently clean every night before bed in the last couple weeks.

We ended up having a messy kitchen because DH didn't listen to me when I asked him to put dishes in the dishwasher before bed... so he was doing dishes while I was in labor. It annoyed me, but he was done before I totally drifted into labor land.

Twhylite21 February 9th, 2010 04:32 PM

Re: What about the other mess?
I worry about that because Lily destroys the house daily. My plan is to just make sure the house is clean every night before bed. If I go into labor during the day and it is a mess then DH gets to clean up or my best friend said she would when she gets here. I have made sure that the guest room is cleaned up in case the midwives need a place to lie down/relax for a few minutes during the labor process. And my bathrooms and our room are always clean.

Twinkle February 9th, 2010 05:56 PM

Re: What about the other mess?
I had such anxiety about this!!! In fact I scrubbed my house so clean before one of my homevisits that my m/w yelled at me about the vacuum lines in the carpet, and she said I should be taking it easy, LOL!!!

My plan was the same, to just keep the house straightened up and cleaned at night. I have a thing about going to bed with a clean kitchen, so as long as I can keep that up, its ok. I'm sure I'll more anal as we get closer to the birth.

I think if anything I'm most concerned about having food for my midwives. With Kate's birth I had NOTHING! It was so embarrassing. My poor midwives were eating spoonfuls of peanut butter. This time I will have food prepared!!!

inyourhonor February 9th, 2010 07:57 PM

Re: What about the other mess?
I worried about it too! But I got lucky, my husband got so nervous when I went into labor he HAD to clean! It wasn't messy at all but it was how he handled me going into labor :lol:

With our first, he kept pacing until we went to the hospital. He seems to get into this instant mood that means he has to keep going and not stop haha.

sodagirl February 9th, 2010 08:40 PM

Re: What about the other mess?
My house will be messy. It's only ever clean for parties (and only where people see) or when my mother in law cleans it. I'll clear a space for the birth pool. It's just how I am. I keep hoping nesting will suddenly cause me to be a clean freak - but the realistic side of me has told DH to take my garage keys away so I can't access my power tools to start renovating/building things for the baby. Knocking out a wall while in prelabour - is just so so so me. At least I know there ill be food! DH will cook lots I'm sure!

Sk8ermaiden February 9th, 2010 08:40 PM

Re: What about the other mess?
Oh god! You are talking to a woman who had her home visit at 37 weeks and didn't go into labor until 42! I had to keep my house clean for 5 weeks! I was constantly getting out of bed late at night to go do the dishes because I would be worried I would go into labor that night.

Can I share a funny story? Of course, on the day of my home visit, I'm cleaning like a mad woman. They come, make me pee in a cup. The conversation went like this,

Midwife's assiatant, "Are you hungry?"
Me, "Not particularly"
Her, "Cathy, look at this"
Cathy, "Wow, are you hungry?"
Me, "Not really."
Cathy, "What have you had to eat today?"
Me, "Like a banana..."
Cathy, "You're starving, Go get something!"

I was spilling ketones for the first (and only) time in my pregnancy because I was so busy cleaning

I was at my best friend's home visit (same midwife), and I was telling her that story as she's frantically cleaning. The midwife gets there, friend pees in a cup. The first thing Cathy says? "Are you hungry?"

We about fell on the floor laughing! Then we let Cathy in on the joke of all the frantically cleaning women spilling ketones.

But not to be mean, but my best friend and her DH are crammed in a very small condo. And their house, honestly? When it's "clean" it reminds me a little bit of that TV show Hoarders. I feel mean saying it, but it's not their fault they have no space to put anything! It was quite a challenge to work around all the clutter for the birth (5 of us in there!), but the midwives never said a thing, of course.

jhmomofmany February 10th, 2010 08:12 AM

Re: What about the other mess?
Well, with a family of 8- including six children who are home all day every day- I am SO beyond worrying about what the house might look like when mw arrives. If she can get through the door I'll consider that good enough. Besides, if my labor is anywhere near as quick as my last two were, it's not like she's going to have any time to inspect the kitchen and bathroom. ;) LOL!

oriel13 February 10th, 2010 09:16 AM

Re: What about the other mess?
Yes, this bothers me too. My doula wanted to meet at my house this week and I practically hyperventilated since we're in the process of packing and moving. I'm particular about people seeing my house so it makes me feel better to remember how anal I was during the nesting phase - my house was clean every night before bed, I was doing laundry at 3 in the morning after my water broke at 9 pm. The only issue is that DS is a destroyer and I'm not sure how much I'll be able to stay on top of his messes when I'm further along.

Effervescence February 11th, 2010 09:33 PM

Re: What about the other mess?
I'm reeeeeally hoping that MIL will help me clean when it gets close to time. And we still are on the fence about going to the birth center or staying home. We live with MIL and keep our "part" of the house (the finished basement apartment) pretty clean... as clean as I can with Little Tornado (Jonah) running around, anyway! Sometimes there are dishes that I have waiting to be taken up the stairs to the dishwasher (we only have a very small sink) but for the most part it is clean.

The upstairs however is often a disaster. MIL is very preoccupied with some things. I won't get into it, other than her priorities don't seem to be with her family right now. Christmas decorations are still up, and she won't let me take them down because she says she's too particular about them. I'm embarrassed to have my playgroup over next week! The house is huge, so I'm really concerned about whether or not I'll be able to keep it clean without her help. And I know I won't be comfortable in a messy house when the time comes to give birth. I get too frustrated with the messes around here. This is one of the biggest reasons we are leaning towards going to the center- I won't have to worry about cleaning

seahorse_3 February 12th, 2010 04:19 PM

Re: What about the other mess?
lol I would apologize every single time my midwife came over for an appointment, and she would always come back with "Don't worry about it! You have a toddler!" or "You're 9 months pregnant what do I expect you to do??" lol. They really don't care, and that's wonderful. It may or may not comfort you enough to not care though, which is fine! My MW would suggest to have my friends and family who wana be involved come over and help you, or do the chores for you. I was uncomfortable having people do things for me but I got over it fast haha. It's really nice to have the help when you genuinely need it! (Especially PP.)

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