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mommybugnbugga September 23rd, 2010 07:46 AM

kids and homebirth
Hi there. I am a lurker here and hoping you don't mind me asking a question. DH and I are going to be TTC #3 soon and we are hoping for a homebirth this time. I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old, and by the hopeful time of delivery they will be 8 and 3. Well, I am wondering what do you do with your kids when you have a homebirth? I am thinking I will allow my dd (the 7 yo) to make the choice about being in the room when I deliver, but my ds I am a little apprehensive about. He gets extremely upset when I get hurt or sick so I don't know how he would handle it. I don't want them to leave the house because we want the immediate family bonding after the baby is born but I am not sure what to do with him. Do any of you BTDT have any suggestions? I know it sounds silly, but I am afraid of traumatizing my ds, not by the birth but him seeing me going through the pain. I know I am jumping the gun on worrying about this, but I just want all my ducks in a row so that I have less things to worry about when I am pregnant.

GranolaMamaOf3 September 23rd, 2010 08:14 AM

Re: kids and homebirth
I'd recommend having someone you trust being in your home to help with your children. That way, you dont have to worry about meals/naps/etc.. and if needed they can take them out of the room and occupy them during the birth (or any time you need them to).
I had my mom and sisters here, and when it came time to push, my youngest sister (13) took DS(18months) right outside the room(We had the birth pool set up in our kitchen/dining room, and he was in the living room), so he could still see me, but not be too overwhelmed by it all. It was nap time, so he was tired and a little cranky, but he did really well with it all. He got more upset by the baby crying after he was born than anything!
After he got to see baby and mommy, he went down for his nap, and by the time he woke up, everything was clean, and we all snuggled up in bed together!

Vandertramp September 23rd, 2010 08:21 AM

Re: kids and homebirth
I have a 19mo old (who hardly has a clue what is going on). When I go into labor my mother will come over and be responsible for him. Our plan is if he is awake and it is not upsetting to him he is free to be in the room. If I am screaming/crying, or just the people and situation make him nervous they will go somewhere else in the house. We are keeping our plans for him flexible.

bre4thewin September 23rd, 2010 09:39 AM

Re: kids and homebirth
We are planning on flying my mom in. DD will about 2.5 when new baby is born. It all depends on how she is reacting to me laboring. If its stressing her out i will have my mom keep her away. If she stresses i stress and we dont need that while laboring. However if she is handling it well i would be thrilled to have her there when the baby is born! She watched homebirth videos with me, just to kinda get her use to the idea of the baby coming out. its funny...she says "baby..poop"! lol

inyourhonor September 23rd, 2010 12:11 PM

Re: kids and homebirth
My first home birth my oldest was almost 3. He was fine for awhile but when I hit transition I needed him to be taken away because I was afraid I'd scare him. So my mom came and got him.

My 2nd home birth he was 4.5 and I had a 1.5 year old. My 1.5yo had no clue what was going on when I was in labor. But I knew from several midwife appointments my oldest COULD NOT be there. He made it very clear he was afraid of me being in pain and his worry made me sad. I had to reassure them several times during my BP check at a regular visit I was okay. They weren't hurting me but it still upset him. So when I was in labor I called my mom immediately to come get them. He did see me during some contractions but they weren't hard yet. He was already concerned and from what my mom told me while they were at her house (my labor was 5.5 hours) that he kept asking about me and if I was okay.

I'm glad i made the choice for them to go somewhere else. Especially for my oldest he just couldn't handle me being in pain. He asked for about 3 days after my youngests birth if I was okay and not in pain anymore. I did explain to him that I would be in pain but it was a good thing, it meant his little brother was on his way.

My 1.5yo only cared about me getting him a drink and num nums haha. But it was easier having him go to my moms because he's my baby boy, my snuggler. He wanted to be with me and it wouldnt have worked well.

Alison79 September 23rd, 2010 05:23 PM

Re: kids and homebirth
My oldest three were in the room when Max was born. They loved it (age 10, 9 and 4.5). Chris loved getting me drinks of water, talking to me, etc and felt very helpful. We had someone in the house whose sole job it was to watch the kids so if they wanted to leave they could. My three year old probably would have been okay but we opted not to have him in the room just in case he was scared and/or tried to climb in the tub :lol I love having photos of my other kids during the labor/birth, it was a really special time for the whole family :)

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