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-   -   Afraid you may change your mind? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/2305601-afraid-you-may-change-your-mind.html)

lrowe70 April 18th, 2011 12:02 AM

Afraid you may change your mind?
Does anyone know what percentage of homebirths end up in the hospital simply because the mom got scared and changed her mind?

Have any of you been in this situation?

I'm just curious because I was recently watching Pregnant in America and at one point during labor the woman was asking to go to the hospital for an epidural.

I consider myself well educated on the risks of medical interventions and 100% do NOT want to end up in a hospital. I'm also taking birth class and learning relaxation techniques. Both my husband and I are pretty excited to birth at home and have even bought a homebirthed onsie for our babe.
However this is my first child and I'm scared that at the last second I won't be strong enough.

HappyHippy April 18th, 2011 08:28 AM

Re: Afraid you may change your mind?
There probably isn't any real study done on this. So I think you should ask your MW how many of her clients go to the hosptial because mom wants to. My MW had a 1.4% rate of women wanting to go to the hospital and have an epidural.

I know for me, which will probably be different for you, I wasn't going to the hospital unless there was a real medical need to do so. Reason being is I already had a child in the hosptial and it wasn't good. So that was enough motivation for me.

I would tell your partner that once transition hits you may start to doubt yourself and want to go to the hospital. That is VERY normal. Once transition starts the contractions get intense and your hormones start to increase by a lot. Just have your partner remind you that this means you're almost done and very shortly you will have a baby in your arms.

Martha83 April 18th, 2011 01:01 PM

Re: Afraid you may change your mind?
I agree....every single time I"ve been in labor...when I get to transition I think "I can't do this much longer" but I'm also like 2 contractions away from fully dilated and effaced at that point usually...it's so hard to remember that....I would tell my birth partner to keep reminding me of why we are at home....and that once you are almost done....and so on...lots of reaffirming phrases!!!!

pink_piggy April 18th, 2011 03:30 PM

Re: Afraid you may change your mind?
I've had a few times in the last week where I started freaking out thinking that I made the wrong choice and that maybe I do want the epi... then I remind myself WHY I chose homebirth and the fact that I'm scared to death of hospitals and wouldn't be shocked if I walked out w/ having a c/s. I know labor is not going to be easy and I know I prob will freak out a little in the midsts but I also know this is the best choice for me and my baby. I trust my body and my baby and know that we can do this. I don't know that my hubby will be a lot of help =/ but hopefully he surprises me!

lrowe70 April 18th, 2011 10:26 PM

Re: Afraid you may change your mind?
Thanks for the replies.
I HATE hospitals. In fact I nearly had a panic attack there when we went for the tour(back before we had decided on homebirth-pretty much the resason we went this route.)
Guess I'll just remind myself of this and that'll keep me focused.

Sk8ermaiden April 19th, 2011 06:29 PM

Re: Afraid you may change your mind?
I think that getting scared and wanting to go to the hospital is a totally different reason than needing pain relief. My midwife has a very typical transfer rate and says that the VAST majority of her transfers are first time moms with very prolonged labors who transfer for pain relief. Usually those moms have posterior babies.

pink_piggy April 19th, 2011 11:28 PM

Re: Afraid you may change your mind?
Ugh just driving by the hospital we were going to go to makes my heart race. :( I was that annoying person asking a million questions on the tour and there was a lot of things I was hearing that didn't jive w/ me. I don't like being told what to do especially when we're paying them for care. My then ob also mentioned a lot of things I didn't like hearing. Like having to have an IV or at least a heplock, which is absurd to me, the fact that if I wanted delayed cord clamping she would keep my baby right where she was delivered - she wouldn't put baby on my chest or anything until AFTER her cord was cut. :( Then said there was no evidence that delayed cord clamping showed any benefit... we know this isn't true! UGH I could go on and on. I'm so glad I have a midwife now and cannot wait for my home birth :) I would have NEVER said that if I was planning a hospital birth.

sugarloafbaby April 24th, 2011 06:56 PM

Re: Afraid you may change your mind?
I wonder if I will chicken out as well. BUT, I had a very very difficult labor (DD was posterior, so terrrrrrrible back labor) with my first, I requested an epi and didn;t get one until an hr before delivery, and then it wore off when it was time to push. So much for that! So, since I labored naturally throughout most of my labor, I think I will be able to go without pain meds this time.

The biggest thing for me will be support, exp. if I have back labor again. The hospital where I delivered made me feel like I had 4 legs b/c I wanted to labor naturally and then was, surprise, loud about it. The nurses didn't know how to handle it- they were used to moms quitely sitting in their beds while the epi flowed through them! I can't wait for this next birth to be at home, I think it will be much calmer and I feel stronger now, knowing I was able to do it naturally the first time.

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