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-   -   Courage? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/341856-courage.html)

Fallen2Love October 18th, 2006 06:16 PM

How did you get the courage to do a home birth?

I hate to say this, but its really been bothering me. I'm glad Hailey is here and is safe and healthy, but i'm really not happy with the experience. I was induced, and honestly if I had waited just until that saterday I think I would have went into labor on my own - and probably had an unplanned home-birth. But, can't change that now. When, I was in labor, her HB dropped drasstically and they had to use the vaccum thingie or I would have had to have a c-sec. I think that was related to being induced - it was to hard on me and her. Or maybe its "normal" for it to drop like that [the lowest I remember seeing was in the 50s with each contration]. I guess i'm just really scared to do a homebirth, if that were to happen again and things not be ok. Once she was born, she was fine screaming within seconds. Also, how would you get DH to go for it? DH, would much rather be at a hospital. I considered a few hours after she was born, just checking us out against their policy I was so fed up with them, and otherwise uncomfortable.

*:Onei*Chan:* October 18th, 2006 06:40 PM

I am so sorry that you had a bad birth experience. I did too, and that is why I am here today! I know that I never want my right to experience a wonderful natural birth in all its wonder taken away from me again. It happens all too often that an intervention is made by an OB and then the whole birth goes to crap just because of something that THEY did. A fetal heartrate drop can absolutely be caused from being induced. When pitocin is added into the mix, you dont contract regularly. They tell you that you are having "regular contractions" but really they are not working the way a natural contraction is supposed to work. Natural contractions bear downwards with an amazing force, where pitocin contractions are like squeezing a ball in your hand. They do not move the baby down, so eventually all the squeezing can stress the baby out. Left alone, almost EVERY woman will go into labor all on her own, when she and the baby are ready for birth.
I find my courage through education. I read read read. It sure didnt take me long to figure out that my body is a baby birthing machine. God made my body in a way that it is capable to delivering babies with no ones help. I trust my body, and I trust that God knew what he was doing when he designed the me. Education is also how I got DH on board with the whole idea. It didnt take him long either. If you have a DH who is willing to sit down with you and listen to what you are learning and take it all in, then it shouldnt be too hard to sway him in. The proof of how safe a homebirth can be is overwhelming. Much much lower intervention rates. It is just the safer way to go anymore. Less stressful on you and your baby. Yes, there is always that possibility that something can happen, or go wrong. Less chance that it will happen at home than in a hospital though. If you trust in your body it will tell you if you need help, and in that case all you have to do is call 911 or have someone drive you to the hospital. It really doesnt happen very often though. Anyhow, I hope that helps. Feel free to ask as many questions as you would like!


MrsPil October 18th, 2006 07:41 PM

I'm so sorry for your negative experience! As much as Ihate to say it, that's half of where I get my home birth courage. The rest of it comes with the fact that I hate hospitals (I'm such a pansy) and through education. Knowing the kind of experience that I can have at home compared to what I can have in the hospital, I'm selfish, I want that great private natural painful experience not a bunch of stranger poking me where only my DH belongs.

DH prefered a hospital birth in the beginning... I'm not sure if he decided to support me because of all the studies I made him read saying the risk of complication was lower, or if he just figured out that fighting me would only be damaging to him.

I agree with Doornail - it sounds like you were having super contractions that are often caused by induction. Given the chance to labor naturally I think you'd be suprised at what your body can do!

abigailsilva October 18th, 2006 08:51 PM

I was induced with my first and that's why I'm here. April (doornail dorothy) is absolutely right about the nature of the contractions, with pitocin they are just hard. Once I started reading about birth, history of birth, and natural childbearing, I was hooked. I think it's so great that you recognize already that it could have been better. I didn't figure that out until halfway through this preg.

I used to say "what is something happens" just like I hear so many women say, but once I actually researched I learned that not only is something way less likely to happen in homebirth, most of the time the "complications" are iatrogenic, caused by doctors and their interventions. Also, as my HB MW says, complications are not emergencies, they don't just HAPPEN, there are things that lead up to them and "flags"to look for.

As for your DH, give him a little time to digest, this is all pretty fresh for him. I really expected much more of a fight with mine, but once I told him why I wanted to do it, he was all for it. When he met the midwife he was like, "that was awesome, I'm so glad we are doing this" and when we watched the homebirth video, he's like, WOW! it can be like that? Beyond that, once you get the facts, present him with them. There aren't deniable.

UndaCovaSis October 18th, 2006 10:24 PM

Wow, I am sorry you had a bad experince.

My DH is pretty straight forward guy. I present him the facts, he goes along with them. And that's what I did... I surrounded him with positive information about homebirth, natural birth, and that was it.

My interest in homebirth actually came before I was even thinking about having a child of my own. Our local radio station aired a program about natural parenting and birth so I had some prexposure. I also read a story of unassisted birth and was fasinated!

I read three books that really helped me. 1) Birthing from Within 2) The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth [IF YOU ONLY READ ONE BOOK THIS IS IT!] and 3) Ina May's Guide to Child Birth

ShawnaCAN October 19th, 2006 01:13 AM

How did I get the courage to homebirth? Fear of what happens in the hospital (I used to work in one).

Fallen2Love October 19th, 2006 06:29 AM

Thanks :D

Dh is really hard to convience on issues [it normally involves alot of fighting to get him to change his mind].

I've tried to explain this before, but nobody understand what i'm saying. When I was at the hospital, the contractions were not really that different in intensity from what I was having at home already. But my body was not cooping well at all. I was on the verdge of passing out [if I didn't get an epidural I would have, but I didn't want a c-sec]. I think if I had not been induced I could have managed without the epi, or other interventions. I was so happy about being i nduced, I guess when your overdue and just anxious its hard to say "no" when they mention induction. Plus DH, is a very "scedual" kinda guy. He doesn't like suprises AT ALL. I said, wasn't it wierd just walking into the hospital not having to feel rushed or anything like that, and he said he didn't want that anyways, :( but I didn't like it, I love that Hailey is here, and tht she's healthy, as thats most important. I tried to talk to DH about that, and he thinks i'msaying i'm not happy she's here and healthy and happy. Of course I am, I just wouldn't do that again, but I keep dwelling on it, because its not what I wanted and hoped for.

momma6_2angels October 19th, 2006 09:00 AM

Since I have done a homebirth, I have noticed a BIG difference in my babies.

All my kids have had jaundice. My 4 hospital babies ALL ended up having to repeatedly go back for blood tests. Their jaundice took several weeks to clear up. One of them even had to be hospitalized. Maddies was cleared up within a week!

All the kids had blocked tear ducts to the point that their eyes would be matted together. Maddie has a little bit of it and not nearly as bad as the other ones!

I was much more comfortable here.

Labor didn't hurt as bad since I was more relaxed here.

After my experience this time, I regret not checking into homebirth sooner.

Everything they do in a hospital carries risk.

Hospitals are full of infection.

How did I get the courage?? I have a friend here who had had 2 homebirths and was getting ready to have her third one. My husband and I began having problems. I told him if he didn't want to be supportive of the pregnancy, fine, I would go about it alone, I didn't need him. I let him know I was meeting with the mw and he could go if he wanted to. He went. I'm pretty sure if he hadn't been being a jerk that I wouldn't of had the guts to say I'm doing this with or without you.

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