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-   -   Planned Birth? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/440450-planned-birth.html)

JoyfulChaosMama January 24th, 2007 09:03 AM

The inevitable has come up in the Sept. DDC, Natural or Epi? Of course when you say your are planning natural, you get the whole "there's no medal for pain, no reason to feel it, it's there so why not use it"... litany. (Of course we have to throw in the "you make me feel like I'm less of a person because I want an epi :blink: ) Anyhow, this is the first I've heard of this one. Someone said they go to a HUGE hospital and her OB is the best in the world, etc... and he calls this a 'Planned Birth" and that it's acutally better to prepared to have an epi because there is less stress from moms pain levels etc...

Seriously, how much more 'control' do docs need to take of this ancient process that we were created to do?? A little (or alot) of pain never killed any mom or baby, but epi's have.

Butter January 24th, 2007 09:17 AM

That's... interesting. Don't worry about people who say you make them feel less of a person. They are insecure with their choices. I've found that a lot when I state facts about myself (i.e. I extended nurse, I don't use bottles at all, I don't circ my boys, we co-sleep, we homeschool, etc.). People who are already insecure about their choices feel like you are judging them even when you aren't. It's all on them. Anyway, the planned birth thing is crazy. The OB does have it right about the stress-fear-pain cycle, but he is failing to realize that being prepared for a natural birth and having coping mechanisms work just as well to stop the cycle as drugging the mom. Of course I am sure it is easier (for the OB!) to have a drugged mom who doesn't want to move around during labor or try different positions to push. He'd probably have had a heart attack to see me pushing (on my bed) sitting up, on my hands and knees, and on my side all at the encouragement of my midwife who believe women are capable of birthing naturally with no help needed.

LaLa January 24th, 2007 11:06 AM

aye aye aye.

You know, as a doula Ive seen what I feel like is my fair share of things.

But I will say this: the woman who plans to go naturally and changes courses somewhere along the lines & gets an epidural might be somewhat disappointed, sure. She hopefully will walk away still trusting in her body & learning somethign from the experience.

BUT - the woman who walks in and figures her "plan" is to get an epidural, and has no intention of planning for any other means of coping is going to be the woman with a 2 hour labor, who walks into the "huge" hospital with the "great" ob at 8 cm, and then that "great' ob will say "sorry, its too late, the baby is RIGHT there". And then, this woman who has been so afraid of everything that she just wants to numb herself from all feelings, is stuck. Stuck dealing with things she was never prepared for. And somethign that would have been so totally wonderful & awesome with a little preparation is now about like facing an oncoming train without realizing that youre even on the train tracks.

I pity those women. B/c childbirth can be one of the most amazing awesome experiences of our lives, and never mind the women who say screw it & decide to take away the feelings both good & difficult, but it can also be the most shocking and even upsetting experience when you are hoping for pain free, plan for pain free, and end up deathly afraid, hence MORE pain, and with NO pain relief or knowledge of how to cope with it all.

With preparation, information & knowledge, you can learn to relax, be open to it, and stop the fear-pain cycle from ever happening. Anxiety is one thing but fear is another. And fear often = pain.

And even for women who get the epi in time - they make NO guarantees about wether it will work or wether it will be safe for you & baby. And - women with epidurals often complain of MORE pain postpartum than women who go naturally. Makes you go hmmmm doesnt it?


Kimbo January 24th, 2007 11:28 AM

I just gotta say, I planned on completely natural... of course since it was to be at home. I remember drawing on my strength at home and coping / moving through the intensity just fine. When I transferred it was to get an epi to help my body completely relax and help to turn my babe in the right direction. When I arrived in the hospital I was 5cms dilated and with an intense urge to push. I spent an agonizing 2hrs breathing through the urge and trying to focus before the epi could be administered. I waited for desparately for the epi. I thought it was going to be the miracle I needed... not to get through the pain... but to make the urge to push go away. Once it was administered, it was bliss for a very short time after which it turned into torture. I felt like a lead elephant - I couldn't walk, I couldn't move, I couldn't even roll over. I spent the night lying on my side in the most uncomfortable positions trying to relax with nurses running ice cubes up and down my arms and legs all night. I kept thinking to myself "why in their right minds would anyone ever ASK for this torture?"

As LaLa mentioned, I think fear is a huge part of it. Fear that the pain will be too much, fear that you won't be able to cope. It isn't surprising considering that fear is built into just about every stage of the process from a medical perspective - fear that the fetus won't survive, fear that there will be some deformity, fear that the pregnancy won't be healthy, fear that the birth won't go well. At every stage of the process women have to face this fear, I think it is little wonder that at the end women fear the pain as if they fear what their own bodies are capable of.


abigailsilva January 24th, 2007 01:23 PM

planned birth, lol. That's so silly. I think if you think that birth and children can be planned down to the final detail, you ought not have children. I'm sorry darlin, we went through this in my ddc too, of course, i'm host, so i get to say even less! SO frustrating, but whatever. Now we are to the planned induction for convenience stage, SO fun! oh, and the "emergency" c-sections. and all the girls who NEEDED episiotomies. Making me SICK.

JoyfulChaosMama January 24th, 2007 01:29 PM

What's hard for me is that just stating my OWN opinion, my OWN decisions based the information I have quipped myself with, people get so dang defensive.

MrsPil January 24th, 2007 08:44 PM

Yeah and they expect you now to get defensive when they attack the fact that you want a natural birth does anyone realise the double standard there? Society has us feeling that it's completely okay to judge a positive healthy choice, but the say that something is unhealthy is wrong. GAH!

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