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Candice January 25th, 2007 10:46 PM

I was telling my dad about how i want a homebirth the next time we get pregnant. I gave him my reasons why i wanted a homebirth.. but he kinda got this look on his face and started to talk about how i should have at the very least a birth center birth.. becasue then what if something happens while i'm in labour and if that happends I should have a hospital near.

I have never has any issues medical wise for either of my births.. the only thing of any issue would be the fact that both of my daughters were born at 36 weeks and came REALLY fast. (3 hours for my 1st and 4 for my 2nd) Other than that I had very healthy pregnancies and perfect labours.

So why is it soo hard to convince my family that a homebirth is fine for me!

I just want to be in my own space when i have my next baby (in 3-4 years) why is that soo hard for them to understand that!?

There is nothing in my medical history while pregnant to indicate that a home birth would not be possible for me... my girls are healthy and came through their births perfect! (Ella had a touch of tachycardia about 30 minutes before she was born, but that cleared up really quickly)

how do i get my dad to either be ok with it and stop giving me "his two cents" or just leave me alone about it?

Butter January 26th, 2007 06:39 AM

Don't mention it. Just smile, nod, ignore anything naysayers have to say, and have a great homebirth next time. Really, it's usually much easier to say "it was great" after the fact than to have the stress of defending why you think it will be great.

abigailsilva January 26th, 2007 07:52 AM

I agree, they may not believe you till after the fact, but if their support now is very important to you, i would simply present them with the facts. They are overwhelming and the fact of the matter is that in women with low-risk pregnancies, homebirth is as safe as a hospital, if not safer. Quote Luis Mehl's Study. Babies do better born at home. KNOW what can go wrong and how you would deal with it at home. My In-laws think i've lost my mind...but i'll show them!!

LaLa January 26th, 2007 07:52 AM

The harshest of criticisms came from our families for us. We just finally told them it was not up for discussion & if they couldnt be supportive, that was fine, but to stop mentioning it to us.

They did come around, and now theyre still not quite HBing advocates, but they are amazed in a good way :)

I know my DH was very adamantly against it even at first, even against a birthing center.

BUT - once he saw that basically anything & everything that they had at a birthing center woudl be brought TO the house & available, that eased their mind. AND - our hospital isnt very far away either. And as far as the baby was concerned, if the situation couldnt be handled at home, then it was beyond the local hospitals ability as well & would have to be transferred to the NICU, which our local hospital was NOT equipped with. Once they realized that their worst fears wouldnt be able to be handled even at the local hospital they seemed to have a different take on it.

So - either avoid it - or hold firm & explain to them, they dont have to be supportive, theyre entitled to their beliefs, but if they cant be supportive or say something nice, then keep their opinions to themselves.



jhmomofmany January 26th, 2007 10:22 AM

Sometimes you just can't get them to see it your way. My family wasn't pleased with our decision to birth #5 at home (after 4 hospital births) but it went so well and I was so happy and at peace with the decision, that they really couldn't say anything about it. When #6 died at 36 weeks, they were REALLY not thrilled that we still decided to deliver at home unassisted. It took my mom two months before she finally quit asking if I was going to go to the doc "just in case".

I just have to remind myself that they worry because they really love me, and also they simply haven't done the research so of course they can't know why we avoid doctors and the hospital. I thank them for their concern, and ask if they can pray instead of worry. Extra prayers never hurt anybody. :D

Motherbird January 30th, 2007 08:41 AM

You could try reminding them that their grandparents were probably born at home. Depending on age, possibly even their own parents. And definitely their great-grandparents, great-great grandparents, etc...
If it weren't for all those homebirths, they wouldn't even be here. :smile:

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