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Motherbird April 29th, 2009 02:40 PM

Help me please
Today as I'm blogging about our wonderful school year and all the great things the children have done and learned (see blog link for more) , my middle two come running up to me BEGGING me to please let them go to public school next year!

Now this is the same two who asked me this earlier in the year and I seriously considered letting them go. Then the older one changed her mind, decided she wanted to homeschool and the matter dropped. Now apparently she has changed her mind and is taking the 6 yr old along for her roller coaster ride. :-(

I really don't know what to do about this. I have told her she can't keep going back and forth changing her mind. I want her to homeschool and of course Dh and I have the final say, but we also appreciate her input and take her wishes seriously. She has pretty much wanted to go back to public school the entire time we've homeschooled. Some days she is happier with homeschooling than others, but her underlying not so secret wish to go back to p.s. is almost always there.

So what do I do? I don't want her to resent homeschooling or me! for making her homeschool. But I really don't think public school is the best place for her. Then again, I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world if she/they went. Can you tell how tormented I am by this? Oh, just please tell me what to do? (I know you can't really decide for me, but I need some support, advice, whatever you've got)

mommablogger April 29th, 2009 02:44 PM

Re: Help me please
My kids have never been to public school but still ask to go... My oldest especially. I think he sees the playground and thinks it will be happy fun time or something. :)

We've just explained to them that we feel that public school isn't always a very safe place for them, and that they teach things in public school that we disagree with. It's usually enough to satisfy them for a while. Winter seems to be more difficult because all their friends are gone though.

Butter April 29th, 2009 06:14 PM

Re: Help me please
Why does she want to go to public school? If her reasons are valid (not something like eating lunch in the cafeteria or playing on the playground at recess), then I'd consider it, but I think I'd make it clear that once she goes she is stuck for a minimum of a year. No changing her mind back and forth.

Butter April 29th, 2009 06:14 PM

Re: Help me please

Sshery April 30th, 2009 08:32 AM

Re: Help me please
Mine haven't asked to go back yet, but I've always told them the choice is theirs. However, if one of them want to go back during jr. high, then all of them will have to go so I can go to work to pay for private school. I will not send them to our jr. high. I am hoping that if they decide to go that it won't be until high school.
I agree with Heather that the reasons need to be good ones. I'm so thankful that all of mine have been to the public school long enough to see that shows like Highschool Musical do not paint a true picture of what school is like..it glorifies it in a big way.
I know you have a lot to think about here. Chances are they will go back only to find that it was a mistake!

Motherbird April 30th, 2009 04:00 PM

Re: Help me please
Her main reason is to be "normal." She is so embarrased about homeschooling. She has even told other kids that she goes to the public school just so she won't have to say she's homeschooled. She thinks she is "weird" because she doesn't go to school and because she has a big family. She is so into fitting in right now. I guess it's the age she's at (10). I feel sad that she feels this way and I'm just not sure how to deal with it.

This need to fit in is one of the very things that worries me about her going to school. I'm afraid she would carried away by the social distractions there. She enjoys and absorbs what she is learning at home and I wonder if it would be the same at school. I wish we could afford private school. That would at least make me feel a little better, but not entirely.

I couldn't sleep last night- I just kept going over and over it in my mind. I'm sure I have more gray hair today than I did yesterday. :-)

I think I am going to call the school tomorrow and see if she can visit there for a day or two before the year is up. I want her to see what's it's really like. Shery, you may very well be right that she will realize it's not what she thinks it is.

~hsingtreehouse~ April 30th, 2009 05:30 PM

Re: Help me please
I would put my foot down and say no. Mostly because he changing her mind like that means that SHE is torn too.

I told my kids, "we are a homeschooling family and THAT is THAT." Bryce has found things he loves about homeschooling, as well as things he doesn't love. But, that is life.

If your dd was working in a job, she couldn't go back and forth and constantly change her mind. Especially for the upcoming year, I would tell her that she had her chance, made her decision and you will re-evaluate that at the end of next school year.

As for the 6 y/o. Tough cookies. If she has never been to ps, then she is just along for the ride with her big sis. She is not old enough, IMO, to even try and make that choice.

Tropicgal10 April 30th, 2009 06:36 PM

Re: Help me please
If they were my kids, I would say if she is 7th grade or older, I would let her try PS out. The 6 yr old, heck no. 6 yrs old is not old enough to make decisions on their own like that. I think at 13 they should have a say in their education, and have a say in the path they want to go in life. If not, she may rebel and not do school at all or act out.

The 6 yr old though is just going with the older one to fit in. I would tell him/her to wait till hes older and he can make a decision then.

I dont know how old your kiddos are, but I think 7th grade/13 is my cut off for them to decide.

Just my opinion though.

lpimentel April 30th, 2009 07:09 PM

Re: Help me please
What is the name of your home school? She can always say that she goes to a selective private prep-school that's your HS name. If she really gets into it you can have her design a tee-shirt logo. Some private schools let you try them out for a week and a lot of schools have full scholarships.

If you don't have a problem with her going to a private school than require HER to research schools and pick some. Have her explain why she wants to go there and if she can get a full scholarship then she can go if not she's home schooled. Explain to her how much more PS would be and you don't feel that's a good investment of money.

She'll have WAY more pressure to fit in in school then home school.

Butter May 1st, 2009 05:43 AM

Re: Help me please
I don't think I'd let her go if that is her reason. Like you said, because she wants to fit in so badly, what'll she do in public school. Even in public school people are left out or are weird or whatever.

Motherbird May 1st, 2009 08:03 AM

Re: Help me please
Thanks for all your advice. It is very helpful. I agree that the 6 yr old is too young to decide and it irritates me that the 10 yr old is filling her head with ideas and taking her along for this back and forth ride. I'm going to mull it over a little longer before I make any decisions. Thanks again ladies. I'll keep you posted. :-)

MissyPrincessEha May 8th, 2009 10:43 PM

Re: Help me please
I don't even know how you ladies deal with a child wanting to go to PS. I have never had to deal with that. Well, Eli wanted to ride the bus for a while, and then he wanted to go because it looks so fun on Authur. HEE HEE...

But maybe it is harder for those who have had it both ways?

I am one of those mamas who feel like I would say no, unless I felt they should.

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