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ilovemy3wikids August 23rd, 2006 04:59 PM

I hate the neighbors! They both have 5 yr old girls and my daughhter was so excited about that when we moved her cause it gave her freinds she could play with everyday. A little background. These 2 girls are best friends. There moms have been friends since they were little and make sure the kids are always together. Both girls get everything that they want....EVERYTHING. They never get told no or get punished and are allowed to run in the street here with no adult around, stay out till 11 pm and other things I would never allow my daughter to do. My daughter hears the word no and if she is mean she will be appoligizing to who ever she was mean to. Well these kids have been mean to her more than once and tease her cause she is smart and likes to read and learn ( which I think is great!),anyway, Hailey went to play with them today and they told her that she will never have freinds that they hate her and told her to go home. I guess they were calling my dd a babay cause she cried when they started yelling at her. I talked to there parents and they said they don't like us cause we are young and we homeschool and they don't think that having a kid that can read and such is a good influence for there kids...WTH...I would love if Hailey was around kids that were smart ANyway, they said there kids have a right to make fun of my kids and that my kids are denied because I don't have a 6,000 swing set in our yard like they do. Hailey has outdoor toys she loves, sorry we aren't millionaires. She said that I should be turned in for punishing my kids cause time outs and stuff are bad cause kids should have free choice just like adults...SORRY< she is 5 yrs old! I don't hit or spank, but I belive a time out or loss of a privilage may be called for if she deserves it! UGh, then to tell me cause I am young (24) I can't homeschool...whatever, my kid is way smarter and better socialized than her kids. My DD is torn up over this and I don't know what to do. I mean we live right by them. UGh. What would you do?

tevinsangel August 23rd, 2006 07:08 PM

I would absolutely kill them.....WITH KINDNESS!!! :smile: I know it is hard having rude neighbors but don't stoop to their level. Obviously, they are not good enough to hang out with your sweet little girl and good thing you found out what kind of people they are before anything bad rubbed off on your little ones. If I were you, I would just act like they never spoke a bad word to your face. That will confuse the heck out of them, maybe even at say Christmas time, make up little baskets (with non edible items...like some small candles) and put a cheery card from your family wishing everyone in the general proximity of your home a happy year and Christmas cheer. It will most likely confuse them, knock their socks off and possibly cause them to be ashamed of themselves for their terrible behaviour. Use this as a lesson to teach your daughter how to respond to unkind people. In the end they will have to answer for their actions and what is sad it will most likely be through their daughters...those kinds of kids usually end up being extremely disresptful and downright rebellious to mommy and daddy in later years.
Keep your head up! You are a better person than them.. :cheer:

Willowkarr August 23rd, 2006 07:16 PM


WOW! Um...that is just plain wrong!

I don't think having a child that can read is a good influence on my kids[/b]
HUH!? That makes NO SENCE WHAT-SO-EVER!!! LOL, gotta love it!

Shery August 23rd, 2006 07:18 PM

BIG BIG BIG BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WISH WE LIVED CLOSER TOGETHER!!! My kids would love her...I would love her and you too, I'm sure!!!
My heart was breaking so much reading your post that I had to stop for a minute and just think about your baby girl :(.
Who do they think they are???
My advice is to find her a friend that is easily assessible..one that she can have over a lot. One that she can romp around outside with or have in her little room to play with. Yes, she will still have to deal with the other girls since they are RIGHT there, but give her SOMEONE!!! Use this experience to teach her about those who aren't being taught to love and appreciate.
My thoughts are with you...my heart breaks for you. I wish I could reach through the screen to comfort you.
I am so sorry...:(. It's just so unfair :(.
Jealousy kills people. It sounds like these adults are suffering from it and passing it to their children. You are the victim of it. I'm so sorry.

Willowkarr August 23rd, 2006 07:23 PM

Nicely put, and again :ditto:. Wish you the best!

Jenneve August 23rd, 2006 09:13 PM

Oh my. I'm so sorry those girls were so rude to your little girl. They have obviously learned their behavior from their parents. :angry2: I honestly don't know what I would do, other than just stay away from them. I do not understand the mother's comment about your dd being a "bad influence" because she can read! :blink: I guess she wants her dd to be dumb??? :P I hope your dd feels better soon, and you too.

Niamh ૐ August 23rd, 2006 09:16 PM

Ugh I had a similar problem with my younger brother (he was born when I was a teenager, so he is MUCH younger than me). He goes to public school and when he was in kindergarten there was a really cute little girl named Hannah that he liked to play with. She was a sweet little girl... until....
One day Doug (my brother) was telling me that Hannah started being mean to him all of a sudden. She told him that her parents didnt think he was good enough to be friends with their daughter. I couldnt believe that! I was more appalled though that her PARENTS were teaching her this kind of behavior, ON PURPOSE! Ugh...

Anyways, as for your problem, I agree with the woman who said to kill them with kindness. Not only do you come out as the better person, but you also set a good example for your daughter. ;)

joandsarah77 August 23rd, 2006 10:59 PM

Um wow. http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m...U/jawdrop2.gif I'm so sorry your little girl is being treated that way. :( hugs http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m109/FTBU/hug.gif to you. I think what tevinsangel sugested is great.

Stellaluna August 23rd, 2006 11:18 PM

Blech..what a crummy situation. It probably would have been nice if these little girls and their moms were nicer as it would be great for your dd to have playmates close by that are close to her age..but these ladies sound like a couple of rotten apples. And why aren't their 5 year olds learning to read? Even the public schools around here have the kids learning to read by the beginning of Kindergarten. Maybe they need to look into homeschooling too ;) .

KarateMom August 24th, 2006 06:09 AM

Hugs! (I wish I had Jo's cute little hug emoticon! Plus the "jaw drop" one, which is REALLY appropriate here!) It's amazing how mean kids can be, but it's even MORE amazing how mean the parents were. You can really tell where the little girls get it from, can't you? I agree with everything that the other ladies said about killing them with kindness and finding a friend for Hailey to have over.
It's a hard lesson to learn, but it is a lesson for her both in how to respond to someone who is hateful and what a real friend is not. There are two girls in our neighborhood and we've had to deal with some drama of this same nature from one of them, and it's so hard to see your child get their feelings hurt by another kid! It really brings out the "Mama Bear" in you!! *grrrrr* One time, both little girls were over here playing and decided they wanted to go and play at....ummm, we'll call her Jana.....at Jana's house. Well, Reilly can't play at Jana's house, and the little girls started saying, "Oh, I'm really tired. I"m going home to take a nap" and just lying through their teeth. Of course Reilly could tell they were lying and she started crying and saying, "Mom, they're tricking me!" as they were leaving...it nearly broke my heart in two! I hated to see her go through that! But I was able to use it as an opportunity to talk about what a real friend does and how a real friend acts. We then went to visit my best friend and her kids so that we could play with some real friends.
Again, big hugs!
Honestly, one of the things I like about homeschooling is that is minimizes situations like this!

tevinsangel August 24th, 2006 07:03 AM


Honestly, one of the things I like about homeschooling is that is minimizes situations like this![/b]
This is one of the major reasons I am looking forward to homeschooling. To be able to minimize these types of situatios but to also be able to immediately explain why to my kids. It would be just awesome if another homeschooling family moved to your neihgborhood babymamahr01! I hope you have a good day.. hugs!

MissyPrincessEha August 24th, 2006 01:26 PM

I can't believe this! I am in shock! What the heck? :(

Phoenix Rising August 24th, 2006 02:36 PM

Wow honey that is just terrible!

If I am reading correctly (sorry I had several interruptions between your actual post and my responce) there are 3 little girls here - the two neighbours and your daughter. I hate to say this but the issues and conflict with your little darling are going to continue simply because of mathematics. Three friends playing together is NEVER a good mix. I grew up with two little girls living beside me and we were always fighting... them against me, me and one or the other against the other one. Its just kind of par for the course.

As for the parents, you have gotten some good advice already so I won't add anything except a hug.

ilovemy3wikids August 24th, 2006 02:44 PM

thanks so much everyone. I wish I could live by all of you! I sat down and talked to Hailey and she's excited cause tommorrow we are going to the y to enroll her in ballet class ( something she's wanted for awhile) and I told her she will make new friends there...she is very happy about that. We live in a small town where most people are against homeschooling and think that those who homeschool are weird. The neighbors say that my dd is too smart and it will hurt her later in llife. I don't see how being smart will hurt her! Hailey is very bright and has a passion to learn and I have always thought that to be great. I am very lucky to have a bright kid who learns quickly and has a GREAT imagination! I just hate seeing her get hurt :( Anyone wanna bring there kids here to play with her? ;)

Niamh ૐ August 24th, 2006 03:25 PM

"The neighbors say that my dd is too smart and it will hurt her later in llife."

That statement just baffles the heck out of me.

Willowkarr August 24th, 2006 03:33 PM

I second that! I have NEVER heard of a person that is too smart being hurt by it...maybe make them a little weird in the extreme cases (example being Einstin) but not hurt. That makes no sence, and they should probably double think that one.......

tevinsangel August 24th, 2006 04:35 PM

If WI wasnt so far from IL, I would definitely bring my kiddos for a play date! :D

KarateMom August 24th, 2006 05:36 PM

*packs bags, hops in the car with the kids, heads north* Here we come!!
http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m109/FTBU/hungry.gifIs dinner ready?

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